


Techno comes home.

by penink



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Dream Smp, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Dynamics, Gen, I just want Tommy's big brother to protect him, If you take this as ship don’t read, Rated T for language, These are CHARACTERS, Villain Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), also the voices Techno hears as he refers to his chat are not meant to represent mental illness, also warning for manipulation, and Wilbur's kind of suicide is mentioned so be aware, any feedback is so appreciated, anything, because it's tommy, character dream sucks, more like a greek chorus, this has NOTHING TO DO WITH THE CREATORS, this is about the characters of the dream smp, writing in universe has been condoned by said creators
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:08:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 39,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27981288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/penink/pseuds/penink
Summary: Techno comes home to find someone is already there.  His instinct is to throw out the intruder, but something makes him hesitate.  This is what drags Techno back into a fight he never asked for, but family never asks.
Relationships: Dave | Technoblade & TommyInnit, No Romantic Relationship(s), Tommyinnit & Tubbo
Comments: 176
Kudos: 2055
Collections: Completed stories I've read, Found family to make me feel something, MCYT Fic Rec, The Reasons For My Insomnia





	1. Chapter 1

Techno, upon first seeing his door open, snow drifting in and covering the floors, thought Phil had come to visit and had forgotten to tell him. Instead, he saw a lone Tommy standing in the middle of the room, as if frozen, just looking at the posters on the walls.

“You’re pretty stupid coming in here,” Techno spoke in that same steady, deep tone he always had, no anger behind his words, just stating a fact, but Tommy still jumped like he’d been shocked.

“T-Technoblade-“

Tommy yelped as Techno picked him up by the scruff of his shirt, scrambling to catch himself as Techno threw him out into the snow.

Techno got ready to slam the door on him, annoyed but unconcerned by the kid breaking into his house. What gave him pause was Tommy, rather than jumping to his feet and shouting insults at Techno, full of spitfire like always, instead Tommy curled in on himself, cradling his sword to his chest with one hand and covering his head with the other.

“Please don’t take them… they’re all I have, _please_ , not again-“

Techno froze, staring. He actually felt a pang of _guilt_. A voice in the back of his head sounding oddly like Phil chastised him _come on, you’re just gonna toss him out? Your kid brother?_

A strange thought. Techno, not wearing his usual mask of a pig’s skull, donning layers of furs instead of armor, was a less imposing figure, not a farmer, but not a killer at present either. Still, looking from this towering, monstrous warrior to this kid, flushed and shivering in the snow, _brothers_ was not what came to mind.

Techno hadn’t had family in a long time. Not really.

He sighed, stepping out into the snow and grabbing Tommy by the collar once more. If anything proved to Techno that something was wrong, well and _truly_ wrong with him, it was that Tommy just hung there limply, unresisting as Techno carried him back inside without explanation. Techno’s Tommy, his kid brother, was supposed to be kicking and screaming, hurling insults and preparing to fight, not just _hanging there_.

Tommy seemed no less stricken when Techno dropped him in a seat at the small table by the fireplace. Techno, without a word of acknowledgement, set to lighting it. Soon warm light filled the room, the crackling of wood taking up the stiff silence.

Tommy just watched him, wary and unsure. Techno heated a pot. It was strange, he supposed, Tommy having not seen him on... 'good' terms since before the war. Since the aftermath and the withers and Wilbur…

And now Tommy was in his home. The towering figure that had almost killed him, that _had_ taken a life from his best friend, shuffling around, cooking for him. If Techno had known that Tommy’s nightmares were haunted not by this inhuman brother, and instead by the one who was smaller, fragile, and dead, he would have preferred it was him. Guilt and fear did not help with grief.

As Techno tended the fire, he glanced at Tommy out of the corner of his eye. Tommy’s eyes darted away, no longer staring, but Techno could tell he was keeping him in his line of sight. Tommy was pale. He was always pale, but now that the redness from the cold had faded he looked _ill_. And like he’d lost some weight. He also definitely wasn’t dressed for a trek through the snow, that damn red shirt he wore everywhere was dirty and torn. He had a chest plate, not enough protection for a kid in the wilderness, but even that seemed… messy. Not even dented or worn, but like it had been made in a rush. Silence pressed on. Techno couldn’t remember a time when Tommy had stayed silent for this long. Eventually Techno sat at the table across from him, pushing a wooden bowl and a plate over to him.

Tommy stared at it, not suspicious, just _dulled_.

For a second Tommy seemed like his old self, a smirk appearing just long enough for him to mutter, “fucking potatoes… of course…” before he returned to silence. Still, he was eating. With the kind of desperation of someone who didn’t know when they’d have the chance to eat again.

Techno was annoyed as he came to the conclusion that he would have to be the one to start this conversation.

“Are you okay?”

Tommy stared at him and for a split second Techno thought he was going to cry. No. Instead harsh, barking laughter, a shadow of the loud joy that had been a constant when they were young.

“That’s what you say to me? _Are you okay?_ Bullshit. _You_ of all fuckin’ people asking me if _I’m okay._ Thought if anything you’d start talking about Theseus again. At least you’d say I told you so. But _are you okay?_ That’s a fucking joke,” Tommy almost seemed cruel, but that cruelty was not meant for Techno.

Techno didn’t return the taunts. “What’re you doing out here, Tommy?”

It was that slow solemn tone, persisting instead of turning to snark as Tommy grew bitter, that made him freeze. Tommy stared at him like he’d grown another head.

“I just… I thought-“ Tommy struggled to find something to say. Another rarity from him. “I don’t… I don’t know, I heard you were somewhere out here and I… I thought- I don’t know what I thought. I was wrong.” Tommy wasn’t looking at Techno anymore, instead his eyes remained fixated on the rough grain of the wooden table.

Techno said nothing. They sat in silence for another stretch.

“Why’d you… why’d you take me back in?” Tommy asked quietly. “You threw me out. Why go back on it?”

Techno responded with a question of his own. “Why’d you say that stuff when I did?”

“What stuff?”

Techno frowned, the slight expression was so loud coming from him. “Something about me stealing from you. And I quote, _‘please don’t take them. They’re all I have. Not again.’_ That warrants some explaining, Tommy.”

“It was stupid of me,” Tommy muttered. “It didn’t make sense I was just… I dunno.”

“ _What?_ You’ve said stupid things before, don’t stop now,” that typical dry Techno humor seemed to ease the tension a bit.

“It- I just- I thought you were gonna take my stuff. My weapons, my armor, ‘cause… ‘cause that’s what Dream’s been doing.”

“You’ve got weapons and armor now,” Techno stated the obvious, pushing for more information. Still, in the back of his mind he made a note of that, _that’s what Dream’s been doing._ He put that thought on the back burner along with the cool anger that came with it.

Tommy, in response to his question, scoffed, tossing his sword on the table with a dulled clatter.

“Oh,” was all Techno could think to say. The chest plate now made sense. It looked like it was made in a rush because it probably had been. The sword was smaller than a proper blade, it wasn’t flattened out right, warped and bent in some places. The hilt wasn’t covered properly, the leather handle loose and frayed.

“Yeah…” Tommy agreed gloomily. “That’s the fourth sword I’ve made. Chest plate‘s my craftsmanship too, if you can believe,” he added sarcastically.

“...And this is because Dream is stealing from you? An almost-god or whatever he is, feels the need to steal some kid’s shitty iron armor?”

Tommy grimaced, looking more bitter at this. “No, no he doesn’t steal it. I didn’t explain proper– he takes it. He blows it up in front of me. Alongside whatever other supplies he doesn’t think I’ve _earned._ Hits me or threatens me if I try and refuse. Although more recently he’s gotten too lazy for even that–” As Tommy said this he glanced around the room anxiously, as if expecting Dream to hear the insult. “–Had me light it myself last time.”

That cold anger was turning quickly to white hot rage. Not that Techno showed it. He was more careful than that. He kept his anger close, saved it for a more worthy target than the one exhausted and beaten down in front of him.

“And why is he doing that?”

“He says he’s keeping me out of trouble, but fuck if I know.”

Techno didn’t like his own answer either. “You were banished, though. Or exiled– whatever– so why is he even going out there to see you?”

Tommy frowned, looking perturbed. “Honestly? That bit doesn’t bother me. Before he started coming no one came to visit me. I was losing it I was so lonely and then he showed up and at first I thought he was just there to make sure I was miserable but then he stuck around. And he even _helped_ me.”

“You can’t start to trust him, Tommy.”

“Funny coming you,” Tommy came off as so bitter. He had all of the anger but none of the fire.

Techno could only be gentle for so long. “I never betrayed you,” he snapped. “I told you what I was in for and _you_ all ignored that.”

“Dream didn’t summon the Withers. He didn’t blow up L’Manberg, that was you, Techno,” Tommy looked as if he had just woken up, realizing he had gone to _Technoblade_ looking for– looking for _what?_ Help? What a joke.

“Right. Who gave Wilbur the TNT?” Techno knew it was a low blow. He couldn’t bring himself to care.

That shut Tommy up immediately.

“Why are you defending him, Tommy?” Techno eventually continued.

Tommy looked puzzled. “He… I– He’s the only one who has stuck by me so far…”

“You literally just told me he’s been blowing up your stuff.”

“Well,” Tommy frowned. “Dunno. I mean, at least he stays after.”

“Right.”

**Dream joined the game**

Tommy glanced to the door. “I– I need to go.”

“Right. You running the moment he’s here is the sign of a healthy friendship.”

“Don’t _lecture_ me on fuckin’– on fucking healthy relationships–” Tommy stood, holding onto his sword tightly as if still expecting it to be torn away from him. “Not when– Not when you and Phil disappeared and– And– Fucking hell…”

“You’re gonna leave now?” Techno said dryly.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m gonna leave now–”

“Because of Dream?”

“N-No–”

“It’s freezing, Tommy. Don’t be stupid,” Techno got to his feet, standing closer to the door. Tommy looked almost panicked.

“Please, Techno. I… I have to. I have to go, if he finds out I’ve– He won’t like that I’ve been here.”

Rather than make another dry quip about Tommy being in Dream’s pocket, he went to a row of hooks, taking down the smallest cloak he had.

“Don’t,” Tommy said quietly. “He–”

“I don’t care if it gets blown up,” Techno tossed it at him. “You’ll at least make it back to your camp in one piece.”

Tommy hated pity, but after so much time Tommy didn’t think Techno was capable of pity. Tommy couldn’t bring himself to say _thank you_. Techno didn’t seem to care.

The cloak still dragged in the snow. Tommy hated that it made him feel safer. He didn’t look back at the warmth of Techno’s house, but Techno kept watching. He knew he should just shut the door, keep the warmth in. He stayed there, watching until Tommy was no longer in sight.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Due to shockingly kind reception (thank you guys so much btw) I have decided to fix this damn story before the SMP actually can.

Once was strange enough. Techno didn’t know what to think when only a few days later Tommy was waiting outside of his house, pacing from foot to foot to try and keep warm. He didn’t even have his armor. Tommy jumped when he saw Techno come out from the treeline.

“What’re you doing out here, Tommy?” Techno asked with a sigh, going inside. Tommy stayed outside. 

“I don’t know. I just– I thought I’d–” Tommy struggled to piece together an answer. Another rarity for him growing worryingly more common. 

“I meant why are you just standing _outside?_ ” Techno reached out a massive, gloved hand and steered Tommy into the house. 

“I… I broke in last time. Did you want me to do that _again?_ ” Tommy was even more puzzled, his arms stayed folded across his chest, hunched forward and making himself smaller, perhaps from the lingering chill. Perhaps not. 

“I mean. You didn’t _break_ in. I don’t have locks because, you know, no one’s supposed to be out here,” Techno huffed, starting a fire. “And no one is supposed to be stupid enough to come into my house. But if there’s going to be a next time, just get in here and get a fire going, will you? If I come home and find your frozen corpse outside my door it’ll be very awkward.” 

“I lost your cloak,” Tommy said it like a challenge. _That_ was the Tommy he knew. 

“Uh huh. Just like you said you would,” Techno gave him nothing, dull tone unchanging. Still, lurking in the back of his mind were the same words he had made note of on their last meeting, _that’s what Dream’s been doing_. He had nothing planned beyond keeping that quiet anger in check, but he would hold onto it, just in case. Techno had said _if there’s going to be a next time,_ when he could have just as easily demanded there _not_ be a next time. What made him go with the former was the thought that Tommy might actually _listen_ to him. An unsettling and unnatural occurrence. 

“It got burned like, right when I got there,” Tommy continued unprompted. Techno could tell he was probing for a reaction. Techno wasn’t interested enough to try and puzzle out what the kid was hoping for. Tommy, after a moment of further hesitation, got closer to the fire, his hunched shoulders finally relaxing. He didn’t even have a sword. Techno slid a chair in his direction, Tommy taking it with a little less caution. 

“What was his excuse this time?” Techno asked with as little interest in his tone as possible. 

“What’d you mean?” Tommy frowned, glancing to Techno before returning to the fire. His aversion to eye contact was a bad sign. It seemed this was the response Tommy had wanted. For Techno to make some assessment of Dream’s behavior again. 

“Last time you said he had a reason? He took your weapons to, what, keep you out of trouble or something?” Techno took off his own cloak, his typical red swapped for blue and a thick fur lining, reminiscent of his empire days with Philza. Where _was_ Phil? Surely he would be better at talking Tommy down. Rather than hang his cloak on the row of hooks by the door, he draped it on the back of Tommy’s chair casually before taking his own seat. 

Tommy, before replying, held onto the edges of the cloak, staring at it as if surprised, like he didn’t know what he was supposed to do with it. The outside was damp, but the fur interior still held the warmth of Techno’s broad shoulders. He wrapped it around himself tighter. 

“I didn’t earn it,” Tommy eventually murmured, still just watching the fire. 

“What?” 

“He… he takes my weapons and armor. And he takes gifts. Someone gave me an enderchest and he destroyed it because I didn’t _earn it_ ,” Tommy’s bitterness was its own sort of bravery. He still had the strength to resent the only person– God?– who had looked out for him these past weeks. He once more glanced to Technoblade. Maybe not the only person. “So, yeah. He asked where I’d gotten it. I said it was a gift,” Tommy sighed, “it went on the pile with the rest of it.” 

“And you haven’t replaced any of it.” 

“What?” 

“You haven’t replaced any of it,” Techno repeated it louder, like hearing was the trouble rather than the facts. 

Tommy’s heart was beating a little faster against his ribs. The same thought had been following him and only now, voiced aloud by someone else, did it hit him fully. “N-No I haven’t. Didn’t… didn’t have enough, so I…” 

“Walked out here alone?” Techno drolled. “Through the wilderness? With no weapons or armor? One of the stupidest things you can do? You got a death wish or something, Tommy?” 

Tommy, the safest he had been in days, looked utterly panicked. Far more terrifying, for a second Techno thought Tommy was going to respond in the affirmative. “I know. I know it was stupid– I ran all the way out here and didn’t bring anything– not that I have anything to fuckin’ bring– and then I was just standing outside in the open like a fucking idiot–” 

“Calm down,” not exactly the most soothing response, but the only one Techno could think of. 

“And I know you want to kick me out– I _know_ you do– but I came out here ‘cause Wil– _Ghost_ bur hasn’t been back to camp in forever and neither has Dream and that means I’m alone and I can’t even fucking defend myself and I freaked myself out thinking about the mobs even though it’s not even _night_ yet, but–” 

“Can you– Can you take deep breaths or something?” Techno stared as Tommy’s words grew more incoherent and his breathing more hysterical. He had never felt more out of his element– Where the hell was Phil at a time like this? 

Tommy tried to curl in on himself, flinching away from nothing and toppling the weak wooden chair. It would’ve been funny if Tommy weren’t shaking and backing himself into a corner. Tommy was barely understandable now, a string of desperate words between shaky gasps for air. “I-don’t-know-what-I’m-gonna-do-he’s-gonna-kill-me-I-know-it-if-he-doesn’t- _something_ -will-and-I-can’t-be-like-Wilbur-I- _can’t_ -and-you’re-gonna-kick-me-out-aren’t-you-and-I-don’t-know-how-I’ll-get-back-to-camp–” 

“ _Tommy!_ ” Techno tried shouting, as if that would snap him out of it, the result was something between a hysterical laugh or a choked sob from Tommy before he was just hyperventilating, whimpering, and scaring the shit out of Techno. 

Techno knelt down in front of him, hesitating. Was he supposed to try and give him space? Would this scare him more? _Screw it._ Techno took great care to be gentle, something that wasn’t in his nature, and put his hands lightly on Tommy’s shoulders, prepared to pull away if Tommy flinched. 

“You’re okay,” Techno kept his voice level and sure. That was one thing he was good at, even if he felt incredibly uncertain. “You’re gonna be okay. Tommy, you’re safe. You’re okay. You’re okay. Tommy– You’re okay.” 

Tommy shut up with surprising speed, his breathing steadying slowly. He stared at Techno like he had lost his mind. Techno almost pulled away, before he realized Tommy wasn’t scared of him, he looked almost _amused_. Huh. 

“What?” 

“Y-You–” Tommy laughed, sharp and grating on the ears and such a relief. He sobered up. “You just… you’re acting like you care, or something.” 

Techno sat back, letting go and keeping a metre between them. Technoblade was rarely surprised. He always had an edge, but he hadn’t planned on this. The kid was right. He wasn’t just acting like he cared, he realized with a strange, flighty confusion stirring, he _did_ care. Enough that seeing Tommy shaken up like that did more than incite anger– anger he could understand, it was quieter. Anger was more controlled than whatever this was, this _caring_. 

Technoblade stopped staring at the floor and instead looked back to Tommy, who was staring at him, head tilted to the side, and brow furrowed in worry. He looked away when Techno returned the gaze. Still, Tommy looked more like his old self, as if seeing Techno confused and unsure made him feel steadier. 

“Not too bad, big man,” Tommy nodded as if he had come to an understanding. “Better than me, crying like a bitch and… whatever all that was.” 

“Yeah, pretty sure that’s called a _panic attack_ , Tommy,” Techno said dryly. “It happens when someone is under an unusual amount of stress.” 

“Yeah, _you_ cause me stress,” Tommy snapped teasingly, before shutting up sharply, as if expecting consequences. Techno couldn’t describe how much he hated that. 

“Don’t think this changes things, Tommy. You’re still a nuisance turning up here out of nowhere,” Techno stood, unable to stop himself from getting cold and defensive. 

Tommy followed in suit, righting the fallen chair. “Yeah, well. Don’t-Don’t think this means I’ve forgiven you for all the shit you’ve done.” Tommy didn’t sound too convincing. He didn’t sit back down, just kept one hand on the back of the chair and the other keeping the massive cloak from slipping off his shoulders again. 

There was a weighted silence. Tommy maintaining it despite being calmer now, less terrified, it left a question in the air. Techno wasn’t very good at reading the room, but he and Tommy had a history. A whole childhood of reading each other’s silences. Unless that had changed along with everything else. The question was abundantly clear, _what now?_ Even more specific, a more anxious question, _are you gonna make me leave?_

Techno wanted to. He wasn’t even ashamed to consider that fact, he _wanted_ Tommy gone and to never trouble his doorstep again. He wanted to go back to a peaceful retirement, wandering with Phil without having to think about the brothers he left behind. He wanted to come back to an _empty_ house, not one with some messed up kid looking for help. He also didn’t want to be the one to actually have to make that choice. 

“It’s getting late. It’ll be dark soon,” Techno began gruffly. Tommy seemed to be anticipating that answer. 

“Right,” Tommy muttered, reluctantly sliding the cloak from his shoulders. “Thought so.” 

Techno couldn’t prevent a pang of worry that Tommy really thought he was going to have to try and make it back to camp, unarmed and alone, before the sun set. Techno hated that worry too. Why should he care if this violent little runt gets himself killed? _Because he’s your baby brother. It’s your job to worry about him,_ that nagging voice that sounded like Phil persisted. The voices, so often clamoring for blood, instead pleaded for sanctuary. Techno was cold, he liked it that way, but even he couldn’t bring himself to kick Tommy out when he’s clearly so desperate for any support. It was that eerie sadness he carried now, too much weight for a kid, even here with someone who isn’t out to manipulate him, he seemed so worn down. 

“Too late to be travelling. Let alone unarmed and freezing. Even you can’t be that stupid.” It was a feeble defense, Techno yielding to this foreign feeling of compassion and compensating with petty jabs. 

“Oh.” 

Yet again Tommy was at a loss for words and Techno was irritated by the concerns that warranted. 

“Yeah. Well. I wasn’t planning on having company, uh. Ever. And you’re not having my bed so. Get comfortable on the floor,” Techno wasn’t looking at Tommy anymore. He busied himself with stirring the fire. Techno wasn’t sure if it was his own weakness or a demand from the cacophony in the back of his head, but he had almost offered him food. _No. No, there has to be a line. We’re not going soft for the kid who screwed us over._ A feeble boundary set, but a boundary nonetheless. 

Technoblade ascended to the loft without another word. 

“T-Techno?” An unsure voice called up from beside the fire. 

“What now?” 

A weighted pause, Techno felt an ache in his chest he didn’t want to explain, as if he even knew how. 

“Thanks.” 

Another pause. “Go to sleep, Tommy.” 

Morning came too soon. Techno had almost forgotten his unexpected house guest until he returned to the main floor to see his cloak crumpled up and abandoned by the embers of the fire. 

“Good riddance,” Techno muttered. Techno buried whatever worry the voices encouraged with logic. “He left during the day, early morning, even. He’ll be back at his camp before Dream is even awake.” 

Refusing to spare it another thought, Techno focused Phil and his retirement and his definite unattachment to everything else he had left behind. 

If that were true, why did he feel disappointed when he returned to an empty house? Why did he feel _worry?_ Techno tried to bury it, even as the voices echoed his own question, _where is he?_ Nope. Not happening. He was _Technoblade_ , he wasn’t going to spend his retirement worrying about _Tommy_ of all people. Tommy, who had been finding trouble since he could walk. Tommy, who had screwed him over, who had used him to take down a _democratically elected leader_ so he could convolutedly end up with his best friend in charge. 

_And hasn’t he paid for it now? All of it?_

If Philza was becoming his conscience now he had bigger problems than just Tommy. As if he needs another voice in his head. 

As the sun set Techno grew more certain Tommy wasn’t coming that night. Even Tommy wasn’t stupid enough to run through the dark unarmed. He hoped. 

_Hoped?_

If Tommy got himself killed, less trouble for him to worry about, right? 

Then again, Tommy had always been reckless, but there was something about the way he paused when Techno asked him, _you got a death wish or something, Tommy?_

Dark omens. 

“No– No it’s not our problem!” Techno spoke scoldingly into his empty cabin, trying to settle the voices all clamoring with their own worries. “I almost prefer when you guys just won’t stop chanting ‘blood for the blood god’.” They obliged, that demand quickly smothering anymore concern for Tommy. “Of course. Not sure if you guys have noticed but there’s no blood to spill here.” 

Techno just wanted to wake up and only be thinking of his turtle farm. He wanted to spend the day with Phil, only talking about the next step, about when they would make their bee sanctuary. He didn’t get what he wanted, the nagging feeling persisted. He could go back to Tommy’s base. Just to see. 

“Not happening,” he muttered, determinedly walking the other way. Besides, Tommy wasn’t undefended. Surely Dream was there by now. 

...Why did that not make him feel any better? 

Techno didn’t bring any of this up with Phil. The reason Phil was his closest– or only– friend is that they could just work together, talking about nothing. He put enough distance between himself and the events the night prior that coming home to an empty house was a relief. 

Tommy wasn’t his problem anymore. Tommy wasn’t his problem to begin with, actually. It was better this way. Tommy could do whatever the hell he wanted with his exile and he could finally have some peace. 

Maybe this comfortable notion was what made Techno especially annoyed when a few days later, he walked inside to a warm fire and a kid sitting on his floor. 

“What’re you doing here, Tommy?” Techno sighed. 

“Um, I came inside and made a fire. That’s what you _said_ I should do,” Tommy pouted. He looked worse, or Techno had forgotten how pale and thin he had gotten. 

“I thought you were done bothering me.” Techno went to get food, shedding his cloak and hanging up his sword. As before, Tommy lacked weapons and armor, his clothes more ragged and his hair dirty. There was dirt underneath his fingernails. There was a bandage around his arm, blood already having seeped through. He was lucky he didn’t have worse injuries considering he was completely defenseless. 

“No way. I’ve got nothing better to do than bother you,” Tommy teased. Teasing Techno while being a guest in his house. That was Tommy, but even his bluntness seemed muted. 

Tommy didn’t continue, staring as Techno got out dried meats from his stores. _Don’t feed the animals. I’m not gonna encourage this,_ Techno thought. The voices argued otherwise. 

“You look terrible,” Techno said. 

“Yeah, well,” Tommy didn’t disagree. “I’m still hotter than you.” 

Techno ignored the taunt. “What’re you actually doing here?” 

“Bothering you. We’ve already been over that,” Tommy remained cagey. 

“Yeah, and you can’t bother anyone else?” Techno said. 

“No, actually. I can’t.” To say Tommy sounded gloomier would be an understatement. 

“Oh right, because you got yourself banished,” Techno stared at Tommy with disdain. If he was harsh enough maybe Tommy would just leave. 

Tommy’s hands balled into fists but he didn’t rebuke him. He still seemed more distracted by Techno’s food stores, although he had made no move to take anything. Techno had a feeling there was more to it than just Techno being there that stopped him. 

“Does Dream not feed his favorite pet?” Techno’s tone remained mocking. The voices scolded him for it, but he couldn’t stop himself. He wanted Tommy to react, to do _something._

Techno expected Tommy to respond with a loud outburst, spitting his own insults, maybe even jumping to his feet and getting in his face. He should have known better by now. 

Tommy seemed torn for a moment, as he considered his options. Tommy wasn’t _supposed_ to consider his options. He was meant to run in blind and deal with the consequences later. Then again, that was what had gotten him here in the first place. 

“C-Can I?” Tommy glanced up at Techno, waiting for _permission._ That unnerved Techno far more than his dishevelled appearance. 

Techno hated this worry. He didn’t ask for this. He was _supposed_ to be left alone. So he continued to be cruel, despite the guilt it caused, something else he had never asked for. 

“Can you what?” Techno said dryly, eating but making no move to offer anything to Tommy. That first night, inviting Tommy in, had been a mistake, and the following one even more so. Tommy couldn’t get comfortable here. Every move he made incited rage from the voices, demanding he share with Tommy, that he speak to him and ask about what had been going on, even the occasional chant telling him to kill Dream. He ignored them all. He was waiting for a move from _Tommy_ , not anyone else. 

Tommy looked furious, glaring at the ground like he could burn a hole into it, his hands shaking, jaw tense, cheeks flushed red, but not a word spoken. It still wasn’t the reaction Techno was looking for. 

“You want _this?_ ” Techno sneered, waving a loaf of bread in his direction. “Why don’t you try and take it then.” Tommy said nothing, his nails digging into his palms, teeth gritted, and despite clearly warring against it, his eyes were watering now, frustrated, exhausted tears threatening to come out. Hunger never helped steady the mind. This didn’t stop Techno from being vicious. “I can’t believe this. No insults, not even an attempt? Really, Tommy, it’s kinda pathetic. Dream has got you well trained.” 

Tommy shot to his feet and for a second Techno thought– _hoped_ – that Tommy was going to try and hit him. Instead he paced irately, seemingly debating between running out the door and running at Techno. He did neither, a furious shout and a thud as he punched the wall as hard as he could. His knuckles lost when put against solid oak. 

“ _Fuck!_ ” Tommy shook out his hand, tears continuing against his bidding. Techno said nothing. Tommy continued, voice shaking, a rambling sort of anger with no action behind it. “I don’t even know why I’m here. I hate you. I fucking _hate_ you and you’re just doing this to hurt me like I need anyone else doing that and– and it’s your fault– You tried to destroy L’Manberg–” 

“Yeah, the place that kicked you out, right?” 

“Shut up! Just– Just shut up!” Tommy was shouting at him, voice cracking and hoarse. “You summoned the Withers and– and–” 

“And Wilbur blew it up,” Techno said coldly. Tommy went silent at this, breathing heavily and staring with wide eyes. “And Dream gave him the TNT. And Dream demanded you were banished otherwise _he_ was gonna destroy L’Manberg more than I ever have. You’re here even when I clearly don’t want you to be, so what do you actually want, Tommy? If you hate me so much, why are _you_ here?” 

Tommy seemed at a loss, mouth hanging open, scrambling for a defense. “Y-You know, Dream would never have–” 

“What, withhold resources?” Techno butted in without mercy. “Belittle you? Kick you out of somewhere? Come on, Tommy. Even you can’t be this stupid.” 

“W-Why are you… Why–” Tommy continued to struggle, still breathing heavily, managing to hold back sobs but not much else. He refused to look at Techno, just staring at the ground, leaning heavily against the wall. “You… you were nice and now you’re not and… I dunno why I’m here.” He took a shaky breath, trying to steady himself, wiping away tears with red knuckles. “A-And then you brought up _Wilbur_ and-and how could you do that? You– You let him– You both– And I dunno where Phil is and I hate that I want to see him too and I hate that I want us to– I dunno what I want because Wilbur is _gone_ and-and I don’t know what to do about that fucking shell that looks like him and won’t leave me alone, but at least he’s _nice_ and it seems like– like he doesn’t have the power to hurt me, I hope, so, I don’t want him to leave me but he still _does_ sometimes and Dream is the only one who’s been there for me and-and that hurts too and I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do, what the fuck am I supposed to _do?_ ” 

Techno couldn’t hold back the guilt. Like Tommy, the mention of Wilbur changed things for him. Wilbur was _dead._ Techno still refused to fully wrap his head around that fact. Techno knew there weren’t words that could make up for the cruelty he had given Tommy. He threw the bread at him. 

Tommy almost squeaked as it took him by surprise, scrambling to catch it. He just stared at it for far too long, like he didn’t know what to do with it. 

“You’re supposed to eat it, you know. If I wanted to just hit you with a projectile I would’ve thrown something heavier,” Techno was not going to continue the painful conversation they had fallen into, so he instead ignored it. The silence continued, Tommy staring at Techno like he was expecting him to change his mind and take it back. Techno couldn’t stand the way that kid looked at him. He turned away. He wasn’t sure why he said it, but he also couldn’t bring himself to regret it, “I… I wish they were here too. Like it was before,” he muttered. Phil could’ve fixed this. Maybe Techno was too biased, Phil had always favored him. Tommy didn’t have anyone. And that was, at least in part, Techno’s fault. 

Techno was done with this conversation. Tommy was not. 

“I don’t understand you,” Tommy spoke around desperate mouthfuls of bread. “Half the time you’re a dick, and then you’re nice to me all the sudden. And you’ve done all this fucked up shit but now you’re just out here with Phil doing what, exactly?” Tommy fell silent, waiting for a response. Techno didn’t offer one. Silence continued, Tommy busying himself with eating. 

When Tommy next spoke it felt like a blow to the chest. Whatever cruelty Techno’s mocking had done to Tommy surely wasn’t as wounding as Tommy asking, “did you know? What Wilbur was going to do, did you know?” 

It wasn’t that part that hurt Techno. That part he could respond to easily, clinically. “About the TNT? Yeah, but so did you. Don’t tell me you didn’t suspect. He’d… He’d gone over the edge long before that fight.” 

“I meant, I– I meant… did you know about… about Phil? Wil didn’t seem… well, from what I saw– maybe I was wrong, I was kind of far off, but Wilbur didn’t seem… surprised. When Phil…” Tommy trailed off, unable to bring himself to say it. 

Techno had an answer to give, but not a good one. “You’re right,” Techno hated the way his voice shook. “Phil and I, we don’t talk about it. But...” Techno didn’t know if this would hurt Tommy more. He couldn’t bother deciding if it was worth it. He was in too deep to quit now. “He told me Wilbur asked him to do it.” 

“Oh.” 

“Yeah.” 

Tommy seemed to have lost his appetite at this. Techno didn’t know someone could look that _tired._ Tommy seemed lost in thought. “But… why would he..?” 

“I don’t blame Phil,” Techno said firmly. “You shouldn’t either.” 

“Of course you’d say that,” Tommy laughed harshly. “He always liked you best, anyway.” 

Techno didn’t have a good answer to that. 

Tommy continued with this terrible hatred in his tone, but he had no clear target. “Wil was sick. I don’t mean that like, he was evil, even though…” He trailed off, moving on without lingering on the thought. “I mean sick like there was something wrong with him. And he needed our help. _I_ didn’t give up on him. _You_ helped him get himself killed.” 

Techno couldn’t bring himself to be angry with Tommy. Not over this. “Tommy, don’t pretend like we’re responsible for Wilbur’s choices. Even if I _helped_ like you say, he was the one who asked Phil to do it. _He_ killed himself.” 

Techno felt a sharp pain hit the back of his head. That was _not_ bread. Techno turned around sharply, prepared to hit back. Tommy grabbed another apple, hurling it at Techno’s face. 

“Don’t fucking talk about him like that!” Tommy for once looked entirely unafraid. 

“Can you throw something else? Apples are kinda hard to come by out here and I would prefer if you didn’t bruise all of them,” Techno responded dryly, unaffected. He truly wasn’t angry with Tommy, if anything he was relieved. At least Tommy was fighting back. 

Tommy, unarmed, half Techno’s size, ran at him, screaming himself hoarse, punching Techno in the chest as hard as he could. He had gotten weaker. Techno didn’t fight back. Not that he was afraid or ashamed to hit a child, especially one that had hit him first, but because he just didn’t see the point. Tommy couldn’t hurt him. 

Techno managed to get ahold of Tommy’s wrists, stopping him from trying to tear into his face. Techno didn’t try and talk him down, he had incited this. He had gotten Tommy to react just like he’d wanted. Techno didn’t feel better. This didn’t ease his worry with the thought at least Tommy still had some fight in him, it just left him feeling numb. 

“Let– Let go of me you dick– Fuck you! Fuck you– let me go– I’m gonna– I’m gonna–” Tommy kept struggling, not even trying to break free but just to get close enough to land a blow against Techno’s impassive face. 

“Are you gonna stop trying to hit me?” Techno asked. 

Tommy stopped fighting, just staring at the floor, his anger had faded to something more bitter. Techno let go. 

“You shouldn’t talk about him like that,” Tommy muttered. “That wasn’t our Wilbur. You _know_ that.” 

“Whatever makes you feel better,” Techno said dryly, picking up the apples and offering them to Tommy. “Here. You bruised them, you might as well take them.” 

Tommy took them reluctantly at first, but he was careful putting them in his pack. “Why’re you doing this, Techno?” 

“Which part. Mocking you or giving you food?” 

“Both.” 

Techno wasn’t supposed to feel this way. Tommy wasn’t his baby brother. He hadn’t been for a long time just as Phil felt less like a father and more like a friend and Wilbur… Techno didn’t know what Wilbur was. He didn’t want to care for Tommy like this. He was a _Blood God_ , not a babysitter. 

The voices remained convinced that it was because Techno still loved him. That Tommy was family and that didn’t change. Techno knew better than that. 

Techno didn’t think, he just spoke. “Do you remember when I pushed Wilbur and he cut his arm? When he cut it bad, like, really bad. Not just the usual when we were sparring.” 

“I think so. I remember Phil getting scared and angry about it,” Tommy frowned. “But that was like 10 years ago and you guys, all three of us, really, we fought a lot.” 

“Yeah,” Techno agreed noncommittally. Phil gave them too much free reign when they were kids, but he did his best, right? They were never meant to have a typical parent and Phil did what he could. “Well, it was an accident, he just, got caught on something. It was a branch, maybe? I don’t remember. But there was a lot of blood. Like, a lot more than there should’ve been, I thought. And I was freaking out even though I didn't want to show it because I thought if I acknowledged that it was my fault I’d make it worse somehow.” 

“What’s your point?” Tommy did his best to remain cold, but this had clearly caught him off guard. 

“You weren’t mad at me, Tommy,” Techno didn’t know why he felt like he had some point to prove, like this was important. “Not to say you weren’t worried about Wilbur, but you didn’t respond by yelling at me or trying to get even, you just grabbed onto Wilbur’s arm, trying to stop the bleeding while I just froze. And, like, I think you actually did more harm than good, you were this tiny kid with grubby hands and you were… it was like you were trying to hold the blood in, even though it clearly wasn’t working you kept trying. And you said something to Wil, I still remember it, something like… I’m not gonna let go. And you sounded so _sure_ , like you were the only thing keeping Wilbur together. I think that’s what snapped me out of it and got me to go get Phil.” 

Tommy, it was like the tension had left him. He looked exhausted, but all the defensiveness he carried in his shoulders was drained away. 

“I… I don’t remember that bit.” 

“Yeah. Don’t know why I do.” 

Tommy collapsed back into his chair, hunched forward, head in his hands, running through matted and filthy hair. “Make up your mind, will you? Do you hate me or not?” 

“I don’t hate you.” 

“Then what?” Tommy snapped. “Things are confusing enough without you going back and forth on whether or not you give a shit about me.” 

“I don’t know, Tommy. You’re the one who showed up here unprompted. I just haven’t figured out what I’m supposed to do with that yet,” Techno knew it was a cagey answer, but it was the only one he had to give. 

Tommy nodded gloomily, like that was the answer he had expected. He sighed. “Can I… can I stay here tonight?” 

“Well, you won’t survive the walk home, so. Be my guest,” Techno said dryly, that droll tone an attempt at staving off the vulnerability they had already sunk too far into. 

Techno did his best to ignore Tommy, who stayed too quiet by the fire. He just continued as he would have without him there, putting things in the furnace, stowing supplies. 

“Are you going to bed?” Tommy asked as he saw him cross over to the ladder. 

“Uh. Maybe.” 

Tommy clearly wanted to say something, but it seemed he had no idea how to. 

“What, Tommy?” 

“Can you… can you tell me more stuff about Wilbur?” Tommy asked like the question was a dangerous thing, said each word delicately. A rare thing from Tommy, but the strength it took to dare even ask was something that was so _Tommy_. 

“Maybe some other time.” 

Tommy looked Techno in the eye for the first time since speaking up again, with a smile that almost made him look like his old self. _Maybe some other time._ There was potential in that. A potential they would deal with some other time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If this feels out of character I'm sorry I wanted the two of them to talk about their feelings and shit and that isn't really their expertise in canon, but I make the rules here! Hope it was a good read anyway :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tommy's suicidal thoughts are discussed this chapter so be aware!

Techno, bundled up against the chill despite the sunny day and with a sword at his side, headed out into the woods. He refused to look at the footsteps leaving the house in the opposite direction. Phil was around here somewhere. _Phil_ Techno could handle. No complications.

“Techno! Over here!” Phil called to him from the banks of the river, still frozen over. 

“Hey, Phil. You were out here before me,” Techno noted. 

“Yeah. That tends to happen when you take forever to get up,” Phil teased. “The squid are back. I swear it’s gotten worse.” 

“You’ve killed them before, just do it again,” Techno cracked the ice. 

“Yeah, yeah, I will,” Phil disappeared under the freezing water, returning soon after, shaking out his wet hat with a frown. “That was a bad idea.” 

“Yeah but I wasn’t gonna stop you.” 

Phil splashed him in retort. “Hey, do you need help right now?” He asked after a comfortable silence. 

Techno paused, setting aside the wood he had collected thus far for their current project. “No. Why?” 

“Oh, well. I told Tubbo I’d help him put up some billboards for Quackity around New L’Manburg,” Phil at least seemed a bit apologetic. 

“Right.” 

“I’ll come right back after. Just ‘cause I said I would, and he doesn’t have much help around there since… Well, you know, so. I’m supposed to meet him there soon, alright?” Phil turned to leave. 

“Wait.” 

Phil paused, surprised. 

“I’ll come with.” 

Phil raised an eyebrow at him. “Are you sure that’s a good idea? Last I checked you weren’t too popular in L’Manberg.” 

Techno shrugged. “I can find something to do somewhere else. I can get stuff out of my old base. I’m getting sick and tired of being up here in the cold all the time.” 

“Fine. Whatever you want, mate,” Phil yielded. 

Techno was quickly unenthused by his choice to follow Phil. Returning to civilization was the last thing he wanted, and L’Manberg, no longer impeded by walls, seemed to mock him with eccentric and full size wanted posters plastered with his face. 

“Do you want me to meet you at the docks when you’re done?” Techno asked dryly. “I have a feeling Tubbo won’t want me to hang around.” 

Phil laughed far too lightly considering Tubbo’s justifications. “You’re probably right, there. I won’t be long.” 

Techno stuck to the outskirts of Dream’s land, keeping an eye out for any of its residents who may harbor more active grudges against him. He doubled back to his lake, the tunnel unprotected and he knew likely his base would be ransacked. The main part of his base seemed unharmed, but there wasn’t anything precious up here. Techno was more annoyed to find that the trapdoor deeper into the base was open. It shouldn’t have mattered. Damn near everyone already knew about it. 

He had painstakingly gathered the resources for _five_ sets of netherite armor. None of which remained. Still, a diamond chestplate had been abandoned in exchange. It was smaller in size, Techno assumed it had been left there by Tommy, Tubbo, or even Niki before the fight. He would take it, along with a diamond sword and an amalgamation of other useful things that had been left behind. 

He returned to the surface, deciding to move past the docks and wander the SMP for a bit, there was little of interest, but it was something to do while Phil was busy. The only thing of note was a weird plant had overtaken certain chunks of the prime path. Huh. Not his problem. His peaceful walk, only the voices to keep him company, was cut short by a voice that set his teeth on edge. 

“Hey, Technoblade! I thought you’d moved because of the whole L’Manburg thing,” Dream was cordial, friendly even. 

“Yeah, I’m just here for a day trip,” Techno tried to keep his tone mellow rather than cold. Techno doubted someone could tell the difference from him anyway. 

“Yeah, well. If you ever want to move back, _you’re_ not banished, but I’d just keep out of L’Manberg, for Tubbo’s sake,” Dream sounded so inviting. 

Techno couldn’t describe the rage that overcame him, a deep rooted instinct to attack. He wanted to tear the pathetic little god limb from limb, he wanted to gore Dream to death, shatter that mask and see the fear in his eyes as he bled, he would bleed _slowly_ , blood for the blood god indeed– 

“Thanks for the offer, but I don’t think me moving back here is in any way a good idea,” was what he said instead. The voices clamored with their own ferocity, Techno ignored them. He was smarter than that. Not to say that anger would be so easily assuaged, but for now he would hold back. “What’re you up to, Dream?” Techno had to change the subject, he needed a distraction before he snapped. 

Dream shrugged, expression indistinguishable behind that lifeless smile. “I’ve got some projects in the works,” it was a vague response. “And right now– I’m just going to check in on Tommy.” He nodded in the direction of the Nether portal. 

The voices grew louder, damn near insatiable. 

“Yeah? Why’s that?” Techno wondered if there was some edge in his voice, some sign that he was contemplating violence, because Dream took a step back. 

“He’s lonely. Just because he screwed up doesn’t mean he couldn’t use some company,” Dream sounded so at ease, confident and sympathetic. A pause, Techno sensing a shift in tone even without seeing his expression. “What about you, Technoblade. You’re out his way. Have _you_ seen him?” 

“Uh. Yeah. And Ghostbur. Phil and I have checked in a bit,” Techno was careful to keep things nonincriminating, more for Tommy’s sake than his own. 

“Have you talked to Tommy lately?” Dream pressed. 

“We don’t exactly get along.” 

Dream nodded, walking alongside him as Techno continued heading in Phil’s direction. “Yeah. He doesn’t really get along with anybody. I mean, that’s why he’s out there in the first place.” 

“Well, actually, he’s out there because _you_ told Tubbo he had to.” 

Dream chuckled, “I guess you’re right. But you of all people know there has to be consequences.” 

“Yeah. Consequences.” 

Dream turned off towards the nether portal. “Well, I should head out. He gets all anxious if I’m gone too long. It’s just sad, really.” 

“Right.” Techno could finally relax, the tension not from fear, but careful restraint. Techno hadn’t felt that kind of rage in a long time. It went strongly against his retirement plans, then again, so did the spare armor he was bringing home. 

“What’ve you got all that for?” Phil asked as Techno’s supplies consisted greatly of armaments. 

“Nothing,” Techno muttered. 

“ _And_ you’re cranky. What’s got you all miffed?” 

“Nothing,” Techno repeated more sharply as they headed away from L’Manberg. 

“Come on, Techno, don’t be like that. What’s happened?” Phil pushed lightly. He laughed, “you know that armor won’t fit you, right? And I thought you were _retired_ , why’d you need more armor?” 

“...Just in case.” Techno kept things vague. “Have you seen Tommy lately?” 

“ _Tommy?_ ” Phil seemed surprised. “No. I mean, he didn’t seem too pleased to see us last time. Besides, what sixteen year old boy wants their dad always hanging around?” 

“Right.” 

“Why?” Phil sped up so he was beside him. “Did something happen?” 

“Nothing you didn’t already know about.” 

“O-kay,” Phil gave him a look. “Do you want to stop by Logsted on the way back? I haven’t seen Wilbur in a while too.” 

“Ghostbur.” 

“What?” 

“ _Ghost_ bur.” 

“Right, right, Ghostbur.” 

“I don’t care either way. Dream said he was going to check on him, so maybe not now.” 

“Okay, fine. Whatever you want to do.” 

“ _I_ want to check on our turtles,” Techno changed the subject. 

“Is that armor for them, eh?” Phil laughed. 

Phil kept on teasing him for being distracted, but the day was productive enough. Techno missed that brief respite where his biggest concern had been when they would get bees. He was unsurprised when he returned to an empty house, Dream still on. The voices kept demanding he track Dream down now, that he find Tommy. Techno refused to be that stupid. He had bested him once before, but Techno hadn’t lasted this long picking fights with gods. Not without a little more planning, at least. 

“You sure you’re alright, mate?” Phil stopped him before heading out. It was strange, after a day of banter and calm, he was genuinely worried. 

“Compared to the rest of… everyone. I’m fantastic,” Techno brushed him off. 

“Fine,” Phil knew he was being avoidant, but he didn’t try to stop him. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then, yeah?” 

“Yeah. Sure.” 

Techno spent his evening with half his mind on whether Dream was still on. It was dark. Tommy would stay in Logsted. Techno didn’t know if this quiet from him was a good sign. _A good sign?_ Was he really wasting all this effort watching out for him? 

It would be a few more days until he would see Tommy again, returning home early evening with Phil by his side. 

“Looks like someone’s already home,” Phil looked puzzled by the warm light coming from inside. 

“Tommy,” Techno grumbled. 

“ _Tommy?_ What the hell is he doing all the way out here?” 

“Great question, Phil.” 

“Techno– oh. Hey Phil,” Tommy seemed surprised to see them. “What’s Phil doing here?” 

“ _Me?_ ” Phil laughed. 

“You know you don’t live here, right, Tommy? Phil has a _reason_ to be here.” 

“Oh, we’re back to doing that thing where you act like you hate me until you realize you’re being a dick,” Tommy said sarcastically. 

“Whatever you say, Tommy.” 

“Does this happen often?” Phil looked amused, looking between the two of them. 

“No,” Techno said just as Tommy said, “yes.” 

“Yeah, right then,” Phil looked at Tommy more carefully, at how gaunt he was, before going up beside him and putting a hand on his shoulder. “You alright, son?” 

Techno’s first impulse was to get annoyed and bitingly say, _he’s fine._ He didn’t. He knew better. 

“I’m good, Phil,” Tommy didn’t seem to know what to do with Phil’s worry, his voice too soft. He got to his feet, brushing Phil off. “I’m great, actually,” he spun around, gesturing to his armor. Iron chestplate and iron chausses, both new and far better crafted than his last set. They both fit loosely on him now. “Dream gave me some armor. He let me keep it, too.” 

“Right,” Techno said dryly. 

“So, you’re doing alright out there, then?” Phil asked, ignoring Techno’s reservations. He rummaged through his pack. 

“Yeah,” Tommy didn’t sound all that convincing. “I’m just… just getting bored is all,” Tommy was transparent in his exhaustion, in the way that Techno saw him flinch when they first came in. 

“You eaten today? Me and Techno– we got some cookies from the village earlier– ah, there it is,” Phil, looking satisfied, offered the cookie to Tommy. 

“Oh, thanks, Phil!” Tommy seemed pleasantly surprised. “Is this what you and Technoblade have been up to?” He spoke with his mouth full. Techno had yet to see the kid eat without desperation. Still, he stashed half the cookie, coveting it just as he had with the apples last time. “Trading? Is that what retirement is, huh?” 

“And apparently running a hostel for homeless teenagers,” Techno said dryly. 

Phil laughed, “well, we haven’t done anything exciting. Save maybe getting Hubert out here, Techno. _That_ was stressful.” 

“Who’s Hubert?” Tommy’s eyebrows furrowed. 

“Don’t go downstairs,” Techno said sharply. 

“Aw, well, now I _have_ to,” Tommy grinned, heading for the ladder. Techno was unsettled to find he couldn’t bring himself to be mad at Tommy for disobeying. Every time Tommy acted like his rude self, every time he laughed and insulted him, it was a sign that he’s okay. As okay as he can be, at least. 

“Tommy, Tommy stop–” Phil laughed, trying to catch him. “You go near that pigman Techno’ll kill ya.” 

“Why, is he a cousin?” Tommy teased. “And how’re you gonna stop me. I’ve got armor now,” he flexed with little irony. “I’m unstoppable!” 

“That isn’t what you think it is,” Techno couldn’t help himself, cutting in harshly and killing the mood in an instant. 

“What?” Phil faltered. 

“ _That,_ ” Techno nodded to Tommy’s armor. “You know Dream doesn’t respect you, right?” 

Tommy froze, more panic than anger. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“Oh, really?” Techno said coldly. “I’m probably the only person on this server he _does_ respect, and even that’s indefinite.” Phil frowned, looking disapproving, but he didn’t interrupt. “Do you really think Dream cares about you?” 

“Why’re you doing this?” Tommy didn’t even seem antagonistic, just worn down and resigned. Tommy’s exhaustion only fueled Techno’s anger. None of this was fair. 

“What? Telling you the truth?” 

“Techno–” Phil tried to interject. 

“You’re nothing to him, Tommy. No– Actually– That’s not fair–” 

“Right,” Phil agreed as Techno seemed to backtrack. 

“You’re fun to mess with. _That’s_ all you are. You’re a _pet_ , Tommy. One he likes to dress up but I’ll be damned if he takes care of you. He gives you food and supplies because he thinks it’s funny how grateful you get,” Techno spat each word vehemently, all of his anger towards Dream, carefully bottled as things progressed, and it was coming down on the worst possible target. Tommy’s eyes remained locked on the floor, fighting not to look up, fighting himself not to get angry or try and protest, or perhaps he was just frozen, sick to his stomach at the thought that every word Techno spoke was true. “ _That’s_ the only reason you’re banished instead of dead. It’s because he still thinks it’s more fun to break you than to get rid of you entirely–” 

“Techno–” Phil tried to cut in warningly. 

“–You’re weak and lonely and Dream couldn’t be happier. He’s toying with you and worse you’re _thanking_ him for it, it’s pathetic. And if you think I’m exaggerating, I saw Dream today and you want to know what he said to me–?” 

“Techno, stop!” Phil stepped between the two of them, staring Techno down –or up, really –with the kind of scolding power that made Techno feel like he had actually misbehaved. “That’s _enough._ ” 

“Y-You’re wrong,” Tommy spoke quietly in the silence that followed. “You’re wrong, ‘cause… ‘cause if you’re right, that means I’m actually alone. And if that’s true, then…” Tommy trailed off, jaw tense. “You’re wrong,” he repeated, voice cracked as he fought to hold himself together. 

Techno couldn’t retort, not with Phil still glaring at him like he was still a child who had been too rough sparring with his little brother. 

Techno sighed. Phil actually influenced him. That was annoying. “Tommy, I’m sorry.” 

“You’re _what?_ ” tommy laughed harshly. “Can you say that again?” 

“No. That’s all you get,” Techno said. 

“Techno, what was all that about? What’s been going on between you two? You boys have had it rough, I know, but you’re still family. You’ve got to take care of each other. So what is it?” Phil continued like a concerned parent. It was strange, he and Phil had acted as good friends, as equals, for so long he had forgotten what it was like to be parented by him. 

“Nothing.” 

“Yeah, _nothing,_ ” Tommy muttered sarcastically. 

“Well, what’re you doing out here, Tommy?” Phil turned his attention to his youngest. “Now, no offense, but you’re not really equipt to be wandering this far out. I know you’re capable, but why’re you out here?” 

“What do you care?” Tommy continued to brood, refusing to look at either of them. 

“What do I– What do you mean, Tommy? Why wouldn’t I–” Phil reached out to put a hand on Tommy’s shoulder, he yanked away. 

“No, no you don’t care! Neither of you care about me. No one wants to come see me except out of pity, no one came when I invited all of you, what am I supposed to think?!” Tommy snapped. “I have _no one_.” 

“Invited–?” 

“What, Ghostbur forgot to give you the invite too?” Tommy scoffed. 

“Tommy, when was the last time you saw Ghostbur?” Techno asked. 

“What?” 

“Have you… Have you not seen him?” Phil asked. 

“N-No, but–” 

“And that doesn’t worry you?” Techno pressed. 

“Well, I just thought…” Tommy trailed off, looking worried. “I dunno.” 

“You… have you seen him, Techno? ‘Cause I haven’t,” Phil asked. 

“No.” 

Phil sighed, a hand going to his forehead. “Well, suppose that’s a problem for another day. Tommy, can you tell me what’s been happening?” 

“You already know the highlights,” Tommy stared into the fire. “Tubbo hates me. No one else cares about me. What else do you need to know?” 

“Oh, Tommy. You can’t really believe that,” Phil softened, looking heartbroken. 

“W-What the hell am I supposed to think?” Tommy buried his head in his hands. He remembered what it was like to trust Phil. That made it easier to break down. “Tubbo… he kicked me out… he got rid of the compass… we were supposed to be in this _together._ ” 

"Things’ll work themselves out,” Phil spoke so tenderly, kneeling down beside Tommy and pulled him into a hug. Tommy froze, tense, before reciprocating desperately, touch starved and lonely he hadn’t known how badly he had needed someone to hug him. Phil let him cling to him, shushing him gently and patting his head. “You’re gonna be okay, Tommy.” Eventually he pulled away. “Is there anything I can do?” 

“No. No one can help me, not with this.” 

“Then what’ve I been doing?” Techno asked dryly. 

“Tolerating me,” was Tommy’s retort. 

There was too much sorrow in the air, Techno couldn’t stand it. He changed topics, ignoring Tommy’s attitude. “Phil, do you remember that time when Wilbur got that nasty cut on his arm when we were fighting?” 

Phil looked puzzled. “Yeah. It scared the hell out of me.” 

Techno almost smiled. “Yeah, I thought you were gonna kill me.” 

Phil laughed, “I did too! I might’ve if I hadn’t needed to take care of Wilbur right then.” 

“I don’t remember it that much,” Tommy frowned. 

“You were really little, kiddo,” Phil mussed up his hair, Tommy ducking away but looking oddly content. “Why’d you bring that up, Techno?” 

“I, uh,” Techno paused, gritting his teeth and forcing himself to continue. He didn’t want to sit around having story time with his old family. _Old_ family? Was that really true? “I told Tommy I’d tell him more stuff like that. But I can’t think of anything.” 

“Oh. Um,” Phil seemed equally stumped. “Well, do you remember when we found Tubbo–?” One look at Tommy’s expression and he backtracked. “Or why don’t we talk about the first time Tommy beat you, Techno.” 

“That didn’t happen,” Techno immediately cut in. 

Phil laughed, “it sure did. Do you remember, Tommy?” 

“No?” Tommy grew excited, looking smug, looking like his old self. 

“It wasn’t a fair fight!” Techno frowned. “I know what you’re talking about, and it wasn’t fair.” 

“You’re damn right it wasn’t, Tommy was what, five? You were twice the size of him, Techno,” Phil teased. 

“What did I do? What did I do?” Tommy pushed. 

“You got Wil to take him outside, ‘cause you knew I was home,” he gave Tommy a look, “and you smacked him over the head with your little wooden sword.” 

“I didn’t even know it was a fight, he just _attacked_ me–” 

“It was pretty funny, though, watching you running from _him_ ,” Phil laughed. “Maybe that’s not the responsible-dad thing to say, but it was.” 

Tommy cackled, “you know I’m never gonna let you live this one down, Techno.” 

“Um. Right, tough guy,” Techno pouted. 

“What’d Wil do?” Tommy asked. 

“I think he felt bad. He tried to get you two to stop fighting. You hit him in the face, do you remember that, Techno?” 

“He was in on it,” Techno continued to defend his younger self. 

“That’s when I had to step in, cause Wil’s nose started bleeding and that made Tommy start crying and it was getting a little out of hand. I think Tommy was out for your blood at that point, Techno,” Phil smiled. 

“Always playing the hero,” Techno rolled his eyes. Despite his apparent apathy, he felt so calm. A sad sort of calm leaving an ache in his chest, two parts contentment one part regret. Techno didn’t want to miss them like that, not when so much had changed. 

“Wil sounds like a bit of a wimp. I don’t remember him being like that,” Tommy pressed for more information. 

“I guess, but he grew out of it pretty quick. He grew up fast,” Phil shrugged. “Not to say he wasn’t, well, I’ll just say _overdramatic,_ but he’s still like that now, isn’t he?” 

A far less kind silence took over. 

“Was,” Phil corrected. “He was always overdramatic.” 

Techno didn’t know what to do with the grief that dug up so he cut the family meeting short. “It’s getting late, Phil. You won’t be able to make it home unless you head out now. Same for you, Tommy. It’ll be dark soon.” 

“Techno, can’t I stay here?” Tommy asked, looking confused as to why he was being turned away. Techno refused to waver. There _had_ to be a line. Every time he saw Tommy he felt more vulnerable, and Phil wasn’t helping. 

“I’ll see you some other time, Tommy. You don’t live here.” 

“But, I don’t want to–” 

“Tommy, don’t be like that. You can survive spending the night alone,” Techno cut him off. 

“Come on, son. I’ll make sure you get home safe,” Phil kept a steady hand on Tommy’s shoulder as they headed back outside. 

“What home?” Tommy muttered, leaving without sparing Techno a glance. 

Techno pushed down the guilt that rendered, even as the voices scolded him. “There _has_ to be a line,” he spoke into the empty cabin as if that made any manner of difference. _Why can’t you just make up your mind, Techno?_ Phil’s gentle scolding tones were replaced by a harsher truth that made Techno think of Wilbur. He didn’t want to keep carrying that pain, but maybe it was fair penance for pushing Tommy away every other second. 

“Phil will take care of him…” He muttered. This pleased neither him nor the voices. He went to one of his chests, taking out the diamond armor and sword he had gotten today, thinking on Tommy’s smug pride with the armor Dream had given him. He threw it into the cellar without a second thought. Tommy didn’t need his pity. _Was_ it pity, though? 

Techno’s next brotherly encounter would prove him wrong. Days passing with little word from Phil and radio silence from Tommy, Phil only stopping in passing to tell him there was no sign of Wil– _Ghost_ bur. 

Still, Tommy had seemed better, before Techno had screwed it up. Maybe Dream was being nicer to him, he had let Tommy keep his armor. _You know better than that, Techno. It’s Dream. There aren’t any good intentions there,_ a paranoid manifestation of Wilbur now lurked in his subconscious beside a rational and empathetic Phil. 

The sheer luck behind his and Tommy’s next meeting would later terrify, but in the moment, halfway home in the night, bundled up against the snow, fending off approaching mobs with ease, the voices forced him to stop. They were rarely so united, but they all screamed the same thing, _STOP. TURN AROUND. GO BACK. GO LOOK._

So he did, turning and glaring into the dark as if expecting that sadistic, smiling mask to leer at him from the snow. Instead, through the dark he just barely made out a shadow among the snowdrifts. 

“What’re you guys getting me into this time, chat?” Techno muttered. “Wait, what– _what?_ Tommy?!” Techno dug into the snow, dragging out the limp body of his little brother. “No, no no _no_ , not you too, not you too–” 

He was still alive. Techno didn’t know how, his body felt impossibly cold. He was lucky nothing else had found him out here, easy prey. Techno took off his cloak, wrapping Tommy in the furs tightly before picking him up, holding him close to his chest, trying to seep some warmth back into him. Techno’s blood ran hot, hotter than a human’s, but it didn’t feel like enough. He couldn’t hold his sword and Tommy, not steadily, so he had to move fast before something else caught up. 

“Why are you– Why are you– Why are you so _stupid?_ ” Techno barrelled into his dark house, kicking the door shut behind him. The house wasn’t much warmer than outside, but at least it was dry and free of snow. Techno laid Tommy down as gently as he could manage in his panic before scrambling to get out his flint. “Come on, _come on_ ,” he hissed as feeble kindling started to light. 

He wanted to convince himself his shaking hands was only anger, that he wasn’t utterly terrified. 

Techno sat beside Tommy as close to the fire as he could manage, pulling Tommy closer to his chest. “You’re okay, Tommy. You’re gonna be okay, you’re okay,” this time he repeated this mantra more for his own sake than Tommy’s. 

Techno didn’t know how long he stayed like that, not leaving his little brother’s side for a moment. Eventually, and with much hesitation, Techno let go, leaving him bundled up in his cloak in front of the fire, fetching more wood. 

“T-Techno?” Tommy seemed confused, sitting up and staring around the dimly lit cabin. Techno felt weak with relief, tossing the wood aside. “Were you… were you _hugging_ me?” Tommy sounded so teasing. 

“I was keeping you from freezing to death,” Techno responded shortly, now that he knew Tommy would live it was hard not to get pissed off. “What the hell were you doing out there?! Are you crazy?!” 

“I–I was–” 

“You can’t _do_ that, Tommy! You can’t just run off into the middle of nowhere alone. Do you have any idea how lucky you are that I found you? You could’ve _died_ , actually properly _died_ , not sure if you’ve forgotten this but you’re down to your last life, that would’ve been _it_. You said you don’t want to end up like Wilbur? Well, you’re doing a great job of getting yourself there, why do you have to be so _stupid?!_ ” Techno felt like he had been holding his breath for the past hour and finally he could exhale all of his panic. 

Tommy looked so numb, just staring at the floor unphased as Techno tore into him. 

“Tommy, can you even hear me right now? _Tommy?_ ” 

“I think I came out here hoping I’d finally kill myself.” 

Techno froze. “What?” 

“You heard me,” he muttered. 

“Tommy…” Techno was at a loss for what to say. What the hell _could_ he say to that? “Don’t…” 

“Why, Techno? No one wants me around. It’d be easier if I just–” 

“Stop saying that!” Techno didn’t think mere words should be able to scare him this much. “That’s your big Tommy-plan? You’re just gonna stop fighting back and off yourself instead?” 

“Fighting back– Fighting for _what_ , Techno? To stay at that beach in the middle of nowhere? To work my arse off for Dream to take whatever he wants from me? What am I supposed to _fight_ in all that?” Tommy was so tired. He didn’t sound like himself, he sounded so hollow now. “I keep on going back to the edge of the cliff, in the nether and… I dunno why I haven’t jumped yet.” 

“Why are you here?” 

“What?” 

“Well…” Techno was garbage at the emotional stuff, let alone trying to talk Tommy down, so he went with what he did best, logic. “If you really want to kill yourself, there are a lot of easier ways to do it besides walking towards help. Yeah, you were _reckless_ , but that isn’t anything new. You could’ve walked off the edge in the nether and that would’ve been that, but you came _here_.” 

“And?” 

“I think that means you want to live, Tommy,” Techno said it like fact, dryly, dispassionately. If he got any more attached to whatever this mess was, he didn’t know how he would cope with that. 

“Okay,” Tommy nodded, processing his words. “If you really want to know… I… the reason I walked out here at night, was ‘cause I got too scared to fall asleep back at camp.” 

“Uh. Okay. Why?” 

Tommy looked away. He looked _scared._ Techno should’ve been used to it by now, but Tommy being scared just seemed unnatural. 

“I–I keep waking up and…” Tommy’s voice shook. “Every morning I wake up and I-I’m underwater. I keep on waking up _drowning._ And I try and scream and I _can’t_ and I’m just choking and I can just taste the salt and it tastes like blood and I _barely_ make it out and I can’t keep doing that anymore. I _can’t._ ” 

Techno felt very cold all the sudden. If the universe had decided to give him the gift of prophecy now, then the universe was a dick. _He died in disgrace, despised by his people, that’s what happens to heroes, Tommy._ Theseus didn’t just die alone, he was cast into the _sea._ He was thrown into the water by a king. _Do not tell him that. You cannot tell him that._ “Like, a nightmare..?” 

“No! No– It’s _not_ a nightmare, it’s _real_ , it’s like I’m trying to kill myself in my sleep now and I’m so so scared, Techno. I-I don’t want to die like that, I couldn’t scream, I couldn’t think and I keep on ending up there. I keep on walking myself into the sea and I’m so fucking scared,” Tommy whimpered, wiping away tears, all of his efforts to stay strong were beaten down and weakened after all this time alone. “I’m _so_ fucking scared…” 

Techno felt frozen, cogs desperately turning. “Which way?” 

“ _What?_ ” Tommy calmed slightly if only out of shock. “Which _way?_ ” 

“Yeah. Where do you wake up? Which way?” 

“Why should it _matter_ –” 

“Just tell me.” 

“Uh. Straight out, pretty much. From my tent, I must walk straight out and into the water,” Tommy stared off into space, dark thoughts still lurking. 

“You’re walking towards L’Manberg.” 

“W-What?” 

Techno repeated more slowly, “you’re walking. Towards L’Manberg.” 

“I…” Tommy didn’t seem to know what to do with that. 

“You’re walking towards home, Tommy. You’re not trying to kill yourself.” 

For a moment Tommy actually seemed relieved, it quickly hardened into more resentment. “What good does that do me? I _can’t_ go home.” 

“Yet.” 

“What?” Tommy seemed annoyed that Techno refused to put up with his brooding and traumatized self. 

“You can’t go home _yet_ ,” Techno said sharply. “Tommy, as long as you’re not dead, you can still go home. You’ve never given up on anything before, so don’t you start now.” 

“Yeah, well, I’ve never been this alone before.” 

“Oh, just give it a rest, will you?!” Techno all but shouted at him exasperatedly. “Tubbo misses you. You can’t actually think he doesn’t. You have so many friends, just ‘cause they haven’t moved in with you doesn’t mean they don’t exist!” 

“Well, where the hell have they been. No one visits me but Dream.” 

“Okay, well can they?” Techno turned to look at him, glaring at him. “ _Can_ they visit you?” 

“Dream says–” 

“Who _cares_ what Dream says. Do you _know_ if they can visit you?” Techno remained adamant. He was tired of seeing his brother wander around downtrodden and helpless. Tommy was meant to _fight_ , goddamnit. 

“I… I don’t know,” Tommy looked stunned and for a moment Techno was satisfied. He had actually gotten through to him. At which point Tommy started sobbing. _Oh no._ “Fuck– I miss him. I miss Tubbo. He-He kicked me out and I still miss him. Fuck– What the hell am I supposed to do? H-He’s my best friend and I can’t even see him– Well, I _do_ see him, I see him fuckin’ everywhere– oh god– I-I’ve gone round the bend– I’ve really lost it, haven’t I?” Even worse, he now looked to Techno for a response. 

“You, uh. You see him sometimes?” Techno was at a loss. 

“Y-Yeah. Ghostbur saw him too, but… part of me just thinks he was trying to make me feel better,” Tommy said gloomily, he was calming now, but only by sinking into more melancholy. “No one else could see him.” 

“Right.” Techno did not have answers for this one. “I mean, Tubbo does miss you." 

Tommy scoffed, "yeah, sure. You know that for sure, do you?" Tommy frowned, "then again... Ranboo... and Ghostbur... they've both said... They've said he regrets it." 

"Okay. There you go. Listen to _them_ , not Dream," Techno did his best to keep things calm.  
Tommy's emotions were, understandably, all over the place, but that did not mean Techno was at all equipped to deal with them. "Maybe you should sleep on it. Tomorrow is a new day and all that.”

Tommy laughed harshly. “Right. Of course you’d say that. I’m fuckin ‘allucinating and all you’ve got is _sleep on it._ ” 

“Yeah…” Techno headed for the ladder. “And Tommy?” 

“Yeah?” 

“Don’t go outside. I’d prefer not to dig you out of the snow again.” 

“Right,” Tommy huffed. “Thanks, Techno,” he muttered. 

“Yeah. Yet again you owe me.” 

“Nah. You heard Phil, we’ve got to _take care of each other_ ,” Tommy teased. Techno would never admit it, but some part of him took that to heart. He wasn’t losing another brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. I've got to start posting more before canon surpasses me. Spoilers for Tommy's stream today, and spoilers for the future of this fic, but I literally have a whole thing planned where Dream burns Everything Tommy has. Now, mine is gonna bridge off a little differently, but this entire plot is swiftly becoming irrelevant. So. Let's keep things moving.
> 
> Also thank you guys for all your nice comments. They get me writing!
> 
> (also, the idea that Tommy is walking towards home isn't my idea I first heard about it  
> [here](https://peninkwrites.tumblr.com/post/637524799029166080/the-theory-that-tommy-spawns-in-the-ocean-because))


	4. Chapter 4

Tommy was still there the following morning. Techno was almost surprised. He was still asleep, curled up quite comfortably on the floor. Techno paused, relieved that Tommy could finally rest, especially after the night he had. He almost froze to death, that had to take a toll.

Techno left him, heading out into the snow, going to check on his turtles. Tommy was still asleep when he returned home. He almost didn’t look like a little terror, sleeping peacefully. Maybe Techno should get a spare bed. Not for Tommy, per se. Maybe if Phil wanted to stay it would be useful. Techno headed back outside, goal in mind now. He returned immediately and threw a fistful of snow at Tommy’s head. 

Tommy shrieked, jolting awake, “what the _hell_ , man?!” 

“You’re gonna sleep away the day, Tommy,” he drolled in a singsong tone. 

“Why’d you do that?!” Tommy snapped, getting to his feet and brushing snow out of his hair. “It’s fuckin’ freezing out.” 

“Well get moving, then. Warm yourself up,” Techno said matter-of-factly. “You think I’m gonna let you stay here for free? Nah. You’re gonna earn your keep.” 

“What’re you…” Tommy frowned. “I can’t stay here.” 

“Like hell you can’t.” 

“I _can’t_ ,” Tommy said more firmly. “Dream could be back any second and–” 

“But he’s not back now. So how about you live a little and help me chop down some trees?” Techno cut him off. 

“I don’t have an axe,” Tommy muttered. 

Techno threw an apple at his head. Tommy yelped, ducking from the apple like it was a bomb. “I thought you were gonna throw an axe at me!” 

“What– Why would I throw an _axe_ at you?” Techno scoffed. “I’m gonna _hand_ you an axe.” 

Tommy grabbed the apple, taking the axe from him aggressively, “right, then. This is the plan? We’re gonna chop down trees together and you think Dream won’t come on?” 

“I never said _that_ , I said live a little.” Techno paused, tearing a foot of fabric off one of his cloaks so Tommy wouldn’t drown in it. Tommy accepted this more gratefully. 

“Great,” Tommy muttered. Still, it seemed that Tommy felt better with a goal in mind. 

It was strange, how quickly and easily Techno settled into this like it was routine. Tommy, for all his exhaustion, could still talk a mile a minute and didn’t seem to care that Techno had no interest in whatever he had to say. Techno could almost pretend nothing had changed, that they were still kids and Wilbur was just out of sight with Phil watching out for them. It was harder to maintain the illusion when he saw Tommy falter, struggling to find the strength to keep working when before nothing could tire him out fast enough. He never quit, though, just gritted his teeth and took out all his rage in the swing of an axe. 

They both felt it, the mood shifting and a weight returning. 

**Dream joined the game**

“I…” 

“You’ve got to go. I know,” Techno sighed. “How about I keep your axe here? So he doesn’t take it?” 

Tommy handed it over easily, mouthing the words _my axe_ but not daring to voice it aloud, like it was a precious thing. Tommy let go of it easily, with none of the desperation that came with forsaking his belongings under worse circumstances. 

“What about the cloak?” Tommy asked. “He’ll take this one too.” 

Techno shrugged, “do what you want with it. If you want to leave it here, fine, but you could always hide it somewhere closer to home so you’re not walking in the cold.” 

“Hide it from him…” 

“What, you’re tellin’ me coming here doesn’t count as hiding something from him already?” Techno asked dryly. 

“Yeah, but…” Tommy frowned. “I dunno. Guess it feels safer. This does. ‘Cause…” Tommy trailed off, he had intended to say _because you’re here,_ but he didn’t think he was ready for that kind of vulnerability. Not yet. The moment he fully put his faith in Techno, something would go horribly wrong. History proved him right on that account. 

“I’ll see you later, Tommy. You should get going otherwise you’re gonna get grounded,” Techno said sarcastically. It was easier to pretend this was trivial than confront what it truly meant if Tommy was in danger. 

Techno was _retired._ He wasn’t looking for a fight and he certainly wasn’t going to seek one out because Tommy didn’t have the brains to run while he still could. Refusing violence was not as simple as it seemed, and Techno did not want to sacrifice the progress he had made, the _home_ he had built here away from gods and governments and tangled loyalties. 

He wasn’t a weapon. He refused to be. Even for family. 

The next time Techno saw Tommy he had a burn on his arm, big and spread thin, like he had held out an arm to protect himself. 

“What happened?” Techno’s voice remained calm and level, but already the voices jumped to violence. They were lucky Phil wasn’t here, he would be far less inclined to show restraint seeing someone had hurt his son. Phil had the greatest propensity for calm, but it meant when he did go off he was a storm to behold. 

“Nothing, I was stupid,” Tommy muttered, holding that arm closer to his chest. “I thought–” Tommy stopped himself, shaking his head. “It’s stupid.” 

“What’s stupid?” 

“I thought one of my pictures, I thought one of them was on the pile yesterday and… I tried to get it. _After_ Dream lit the TNT,” Tommy shrugged. “Told you it was stupid.” 

“...And you’re alive how?” 

“Dream, he dragged me back, saved my arse,” Tommy sounded unsure, like he didn’t quite know how to feel about that. He laughed nervously, a function of panic rather than humor, “gave me shit for it too. Didn’t like me interfering.” 

“Right.” Techno was satiated for now. He was not going to break his newfound pacifism because Tommy almost burnt himself alive for a _picture._ This did not mean he believed Dream’s intentions were benevolent. _Gave me shit for it too. Didn’t like me interfering._ Techno kept that in the back of his mind among a list of other reasons he may go to war over. Not yet. Techno had gotten this far, worked too hard, to go back on it easily. 

“It wasn’t one of the important ones, I checked once Dream left,” Tommy added. “And I kept the cloak you gave me! See? I hid it under a tree just out of the tundra.” Techno didn’t care. 

“I don’t care,” he told him as much. “You plannin’ on sticking around, Tommy?” 

“Uh. For today. As long as I can. Dream didn’t say if he was coming today or not,” Tommy followed Techno as he headed for his turtle farm. “What’re the turtles for, anyway?” He asked as they hopped the fence. 

“Potions.” 

“ _Potions?_ You’re gonna make potions out of turtles?” Tommy seemed less enthused now as Techno checked his current haul. 

“You don’t know much about brewing, do you?” Techno asked dryly. 

“No. Never really needed to do much brewing m’self,” Tommy shrugged. 

“Yeah, ‘cause you steal shit instead, don’t you Tommy?” Techno scoffed. 

“Not anymore,” Tommy replied far more gloomily. 

Techno sighed. “Are you gonna help me or are you just gonna stand there?” 

“Y-Yeah, right,” Tommy was quick to remedy this. Too quick. He was supposed to whine and resist any inclination for work. Techno didn’t comment on it. 

“Didn’t you guys like, have a drug van back in the day? Wasn’t _that_ mostly brewing?” Techno asked as they headed back towards the house. 

“I mean, yeah, but I was more there to keep things running,” Tommy swaggered across the snow, looking cocky. 

“Whatever you say, Tommy.” 

“It’s true!” Tommy pouted. “And just ‘cause I don’t _need_ to brew my own potions doesn’t mean I _can’t._ ” Techno didn’t bother with a reply. Tommy looked towards the treeline. “You seen Phil lately?” 

“Not for a couple days. Why?” 

“Just… Ghostbur still hasn’t turned up. And it’s been just me and Dream for weeks now. Not that that’s a bad thing,” Tommy said quickly. “He… he shows up. And we hang out together. It’s not all blowing shit up.” 

“There’s still _some_ blowing shit up, though,” Techno pointed out. 

“You’re one to talk,” Tommy grew sharper. “Half the time I think being _here_ is a mistake. Dunno why I keep coming here. You’ve screwed me over before.” 

“Not this again,” Techno rolled his eyes. “I get it, I’m the evil guy who summoned the Withers. And you’re only here because you’re that desperate.” 

“Hey!” Tommy moved to punch him on the arm, Techno avoiding him with ease. “That’s not true. I’m here ‘cause…” 

“‘Cause Dream is too scary to be around all the time?” 

“No– A-And Dream doesn’t scare me!” 

“Sure. Y’know you’re really good at lying to yourself.” 

“Shut up,” Tommy aimed for him with more deliberation this time, punching him in the shoulder. Techno couldn’t even pretend that hurt. “I’m here ‘cause… ‘cause I get too bored being alone. I gotta banter with someone, even if you’re the worst possible candidate.” 

“Oooh, _candidate,_ that’s a big word for you, Tommy. Didja learn that for the election?” Techno mocked as he reordered the stores in his chests. 

“Do you get some satisfaction from bullying me? I’m a child, you monster,” Tommy leaned against the wall, arms folded over his chest, with careful attention not to touch the burn on his arm. 

“I’m pretty sure it’s in my job description. Right under anarchy, ‘bully Tommyinnit’, followed by, collect honey. Come on,” Techno pulled him back outside. 

“Is this what you do all day? Take care of turtles and bees?” Tommy groaned. 

“Well, once you swear off violence there isn’t much else to do,” Techno said dryly. 

“Come on, but this is _boring_ ,” Tommy kicked at the snow. 

“Well, what do you do, then, Tommy? Mope around on that beach of yours and try and scrounge together armor to offer up to Dream? That’s really living, huh,” Techno mocked. 

“Why do you hate Dream so much?” Tommy grew defensive once more. 

“Why don’t _you_ hate Dream more?” Techno retorted. 

“He’s the only one who hasn’t fuckin’ left me,” Tommy snapped. 

“So you say.” 

“ _So I say_ – What’s _that_ supposed to mean?” Tommy frowned. 

“We’ve been over this– _can_ your other little friends visit you?” Techno had no idea why he had taken up the mantle of being Tommy’s child psychologist. 

“W-Well,” Tommy seemed to hate this question. “Dream says–” 

“Oh my god– we’ve been _over this!_ Stop thinking about what Dream says. Do you _know?_ ” Techno turned to face him, bottles of honey abandoned, staring down at his little brother with challenge. If Tommy was going to keep moving in circles, Techno would stop him in his tracks. 

“N-No I don’t,” Tommy said it like the words hurt. “I don’t. But… but no one came to my beach party… I made an effort and…” 

“What the hell are you talkin’ about?” Techno frowned. 

“I had Ghostbur invite everyone and no one came,” Tommy stared at the ground, resigned and bitter. 

“Ghostbur? And was this before or after he went missing?” 

“...Right before.” 

Techno’s suspicions grew stronger. “How do you know they even got delivered?” 

Tommy didn’t seem to want to answer that line of logic. “Has Phil seen any sign of him?” He asked too softly. 

It was hard to decide if they were scared of losing their brother again. How can you lose someone who’s already gone? 

“No. He hasn’t,” Techno calmed, sinking into Tommy’s melancholy. 

“What if he’s really just gone, Techno? What if this is just what happens to ghosts, they just up and leave one day?” Tommy asked, looking to his big brother for answers with the kind of faith that hadn’t died despite so much damage between them. 

“I… I don’t know if it works like that, Tommy.” How could Techno be harsh in response to that? “You know… you know it’s not really _him_ , right? That’s not Wilbur.” 

“Yeah, I know,” Tommy muttered. 

Techno thought the dark conversation was over, returning to his honey. Tommy kept going. 

“When do you think we really lost him?” 

“What?” Techno felt sick. 

“Wilbur. When do you think he was… you know. Gone ‘round the bend. He… he started slipping after we were banished… but I dunno, I still had hope up until… I guess when he kept on insisting we needed to blow them all up,” Tommy closed his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath. “I remember at one point he said something like, ‘god help whoever gets caught in the crossfire’. And he said it like he was laughing, like it was a joke. Said that about our _friends._ But… I dunno if he was gone before that. I _hope_ he wasn’t, but… I think he was slipping for a while.” 

“I don’t know,” Techno said. Techno stood by what he had done with Pogtopia, that didn’t mean he was proud of how it had all gone down. He had fed into Wilbur’s insanity. He could see that now. He had thrown himself into violence alongside him, always telling himself the ends justified the means. Techno stood by those goals, he stood by his reaction to his friends and brothers betraying those goals, but… he didn’t know what part he had to play in Wilbur begging Phil to end his life. He didn’t know if he wanted to know. 

“What do you think would’ve happened? If Wilbur had just let us win?” Tommy asked. 

“And you had still installed another government to take over for the one you just overthrew?” Techno said coldly. “I would’ve stopped you.” 

“Right,” Tommy grew bitter. “Because Schlatt being in charge is somehow comparable to Tubbo.” 

“Isn’t it?” Techno asked. Tommy had no reply. “What exactly did Schlatt _do?_ That was worse than any other useless government figurehead?” 

“He threw out me and Wilbur!” Tommy snapped. 

“Yeah, yeah, I get that, but that affected _you_ personally. Not to say that doesn’t count, but there’s got to be more to excuse replacing him. What government policy or action represented tyranny in his rule?” Techno spoke slowly, a little sarcastically, but he did want Tommy to answer. 

“Sound like a fuckin’ test question…” 

“Just answer it.” 

“He– He disregarded Quackity, his VP, he refused to listen to him.” 

“And weren’t you Tubbo’s VP?” 

“That’s– That’s _different_ –” 

“Different _how?_ ” Techno pushed. 

Tommy ignored the question, “he overtaxed Nikki! He arrested her ‘cause she refused to listen to him. He tried to kill ‘er too!” 

“Okay. And Tubbo banished _you_ because you refused to listen.” 

Tommy kept going, a little desperately now. “He– He forsook all of our traditions, tore down the walls, changed the flags–” 

“Superficial, Tommy. Meaningless.” 

“H-He killed Tubbo! He had him executed on stage in front of everyone– He _decorated_ his own execution– Don’t tell me that’s something Tubbo would _ever_ do!” Tommy was truly defiant now. “Actually, Schlatt didn’t kill Tubbo. He had _you_ do it for him. You… you took a life from my best friend. Why am I even _talking_ to you right now–” 

“What the hell was I supposed to do, huh?!” Techno shouted back, no longer cold and patronizing, finally his frustration bled through, he had to let go of the glass bottle in his hand because the alternative was crushing it or throwing it at Tommy’s head. “If I didn’t listen to Schlatt– he would’ve killed me and then Tubbo next!” 

“You should’ve gone for _Schlatt_ ,” Tommy got in his face, pressing an accusing finger into his chest. “Why the hell didn’t you?” 

“I caught him in the crossfire–” 

“And you caught everybody else!” Tommy shouted back, both of their voices a knife cutting through the suffocating silence of snow and empty space. “What the hell is wrong with you? You killed people without reason. How the fuck do you justify that?” 

“I _don’t_ ,” Techno hissed, stepping closer to meet Tommy, towering over him, but Tommy didn’t step back, he held his ground. “I stay out of the way and I atone. That’s what I’m _doing_ out here. I’m making sure I don’t hurt anyone else.” Techno stared at him, waiting for a challenge. Tommy’s hands balled into fists. He didn’t throw a punch. Techno stepped back. He wasn’t going to waste time trying not to blink first in some pathetic showdown, not when Tommy was the one desperate for a win. “You got banished ‘cause your best friend had no other choice. Because of Dream. You’re out here, you’re not atoning, because your best friend couldn’t keep you in line, so don’t pretend like I’m not at least trying to be better instead of playing into the hands of the same guy who’s been pulling the strings since day one.” 

Tommy didn’t have a defense for that, only a question. “Well– What the hell am I supposed to do then, Techno? I’m– I’m _powerless._ Dream is a fuckin’ _god_ for fucks sake, I’m just– I’m just some kid.” 

Techno couldn’t remember a time where Tommy viewed himself as weak. Tommy was never just _some kid_ , Tommy was always the first one in a fight, the never-say-die of every battle. _Just some kid._ The worst part is that was the truth. Tommy was a _kid_ who didn’t deserve any of this weight, consequences, sure, but _this?_ Techno, for all his cold rationale, for all his bloodlust and apathy, couldn’t see a justification for what Tommy had been through. 

“You’re not powerless,” Techno muttered. “Now, don’t think I’m advising you fight a god, but you’re not powerless. He controls you because you let him.” 

“Yeah? What, I disobey him and get my ass kicked? All my shit gets destroyed anyway,” Tommy argued. 

“I thought Dream was your _friend_ ,” Techno said it pointedly, challengingly. 

“He– He is,” Tommy didn’t sound so sure. “Best thing I’ve got right now, at least. I’d rather take some asshole who’s nice to me most of the time than being alone. I… I _can’t_ be alone all the time.” 

“What the hell has all this been, then?” Techno snapped. He had been at war with himself, back and forth over how much compassion he would give out to Tommy, and it felt almost cruel to have the fruition of those conflicts spat back in his face. “You think this was an easy choice for me? What do you think I’ve been doing out here, charity work?” 

Tommy seemed surprised, but not dissuaded. “Look, what you’ve done, I’m grateful. Okay? I am, and that means a lot coming from me, but… this is temporary.” 

“Why is this any more temporary than your little camp by the beach?” 

“It’s not. That… I hope that’s temporary too, but… but back there things are more certain. I play by Dream’s rules, and things generally work out okay for me. There’s none of that out here. And…” Tommy almost seemed guilty. Almost. “I still don’t know if I trust you. Not really.” 

“Yeah. Don’t tell me you trust him,” Techno said coldly. “Don’t tell me you trust _him_ over your own family.” 

“ _Family?_ ” Tommy laughed sharply. “We haven’t been family for a _very_ long time, Techno. Unlike you, Dream has never betrayed me.” 

“Because you’ve never been on the same side!” Techno burst out. “Not really. He gave Wilbur TNT because he knew it would cause more problems. He was _never_ on our side.” 

“Yeah? But you _were_ , Techno, you’re the one who turned on _us,_ ” Tommy spat. 

“ _You_ all betrayed me. I just prepared for the worst. I told you what I was in for from the beginning. I was there to stop a government, not help one. It was the only expectation I had in all this, I didn’t ask for payment or power or anything. All I asked was no more government. And you couldn’t even do that one thing for me. And it was for your own good!” Techno snapped. 

Tommy paled, frozen and silent, no longer arguing back, just shocked. 

“What?” Techno asked sharply. Tommy stepped back. “Tommy, _what?_ ” 

“Nah, just, heard something like that before,” Tommy laughed but it sounded more like a sob. 

Techno was dumbfounded. They had both been pissed off and arguing on even ground a _second_ ago and now… “You cry a lot now, y’know.” 

“Shut up, no I don’t,” Tommy’s voice tremored. “Fuck–” 

“So… are we no longer talking politics or…?” 

“ _Politics?_ ” Tommy scoffed. “I didn’t know we were talking about politics.” 

“So what’s government, then?” Techno asked dryly. 

“It was never _about_ government. None of it was, it was about… it was about being able to go home, or have a home, or to know we were gonna be safe, or something like that. The presidency– I think, well, I dunno, we needed someone to organize us, someone to _not_ be Schlatt, someone to give a shit and keep us all together. I wanted that to be Wilbur. Like it was before. I just wanted things to be how they were. _I_ never wanted Tubbo to be president, Techno. Not ‘cause I didn't think he could do it, he’s a bit of a pushover sometimes, but he… he really cares. And he wants everyone to be okay. Or… that’s what he wanted at one point. Now… I don’t think I know him anymore,” Tommy fell deeper into old wounds. “I just wanted things to be like it was before. I just wanted my best friend back and I wanted us to get the discs back _together._ Wilbur was the one who was supposed to be in charge. He was the adult, he was the one who did it before, he– he _said_ he could build the nation again, I didn’t think– I didn’t think he would–” Tommy stopped, biting his lip. “I dunno what I thought.” 

It weighted the air. A thought shared between them that neither of them wanted to acknowledge. _This is Wilbur’s fault._

It was hard enough to grieve with an echo of their dead brother walking around, let alone putting blame on him too. 

Tommy changed the subject. “And I thought you were retired, I thought you were nonviolent now. Why does anarchy matter to you, then?” 

“Anarchy isn’t _violence_ , Tommy. Not any more than government is. What it does do– What it _could’ve_ done, was prevent an abuse of power,” Techno explained. “I feel like that’s pretty relevant to you at the moment.” 

“I don’t think you get it,” Tommy folded his arms over his chest. “I don’t have a _choice_ in this. I can’t go home, and I can’t be alone. And _you’ve_ made it abundantly clear you don’t want me around all the time, so, that shitty camp is my best bet. Dream is… 90% nice to me. So. I’m gonna take those odds.” 

“I’m not gonna tell you how to feel about him and I’m not gonna tell you what to do, but I’ll tell you what I’ve seen, and what I’ve heard from you. He isn’t nice to you. He placates you,” Techno kept his tone level, calm. He wasn’t going to tell Tommy how to think, he’d been through enough of that, but he certainly wasn’t going to refrain from sharing his own thoughts. The tension had faded enough that he could get back to his honey. 

“Placate– What’s that mean?” 

“He entertains you enough that you don’t get pissed off and fight back. That paired with how helpless he makes you feel, I’m guessing it’s just enough to keep you out of his way,” Techno drawled. 

“No, no if he wanted me out of the way he’d just leave me out here. He comes and visits me a lot,” Tommy tried to worm a way out. 

“Right, so you could talk yourself up and get ready for a fight? No, Tommy, the best way to keep you out of the way is to make sure you’re too miserable to realize he’s the problem. If I were him, it’s what I’d do,” Techno said. “And I bet a little bit of it is revenge too. I mean, you’ve been a thorn in his side forever now, and now you’re bending over backwards to make sure he’s happy enough not to take more from you.” 

“Or a bug,” Tommy said quietly. 

“What?” 

“A bug he had to take outside.” 

“Yeah, sure, whatever metaphor works for ya, the point is the same,” Techno said. 

“You’re really sure… You really think Dream doesn’t care about me?” Tommy seemed to be slowly pushing towards a conclusion. “That he’s not… checking in on me, he’s…” 

“Checking up on you.” 

“What’s the difference?” 

“He’s not checking because he cares about how you are, otherwise he wouldn’t be screwing with your head and robbing you blind,” Techno continued the conversation almost casually, honey gathered, and headed back towards the house. “Again, this is just what I think from what you’ve told me. He’s checking _up_ on you, as in making sure you’re keeping in line. If you’re pathetic and terrified and desperate for his approval you’re not planning an insurgency, now are you?” 

“Insurgency? That’s like, revolution, right?” Tommy followed, listening with shocking attention. He wasn’t trying to defend Dream or refute Techno’s thoughts, he was _listening_. 

“Uh huh. Like, hard enough to do that when you’re stuck out here, but I guess he needed to be sure.” 

“Needed to be sure…” Tommy paused just outside the house, cogs turning. “Do you think..?” He trailed off. “He wouldn’t be out here watching me, right, if he wasn’t worried about what I might do.” 

“Uh. Yeah.” 

“Dream… Dream is scared of me. He’s actually scared of what I might do,” Tommy let out a barking laugh, disbelieving. “You know what that means, right?” 

“...No. Actually, I don’t.” 

“It _means_ , Techno, we could stop him. We could actually _do_ something. If I’m a threat, that means I’ve got leverage, and leverage means I’ve got a chance at getting my discs back!” Tommy’s excitement was ramping up. Techno was unenthused. 

“Right. How’re you planning on doing that?” Techno was glad that Tommy seemed to be rejecting Dream’s hold on him, but everything else he was saying sounded utterly insane. 

“I mean, I’m not saying it’ll be easy, but you’ve done it before. I know we can do this,” Tommy sounded too certain, following Techno inside and pacing the length of the cabin. 

“ _We?_ What’d you mean _we?_ ” Techno scoffed. “Did you not hear my whole mantra? I’m _retired._ I’m not going to fight your wars, Tommy. I got enough’a that last time.” 

Tommy frowned. “You’re the one talking up how I shouldn’t let Dream screw with me anymore.” 

“Yeah, I stand by that part, but why’d you decide I gotta be involved?” Techno raised an eyebrow at him. “You can’t actually think I’d come out of retirement to fight for you _again._ We were literally just arguing about why that was such a mess last time.” 

“But– But you _said_ –” 

“I said Dream didn’t care about you. That’s all, Tommy. The rest you figured out on your own,” Techno said, so unfeeling and apathetic now. It was safer that way. “Good luck, I mean that, but I’m not fighting again.” Techno turned away from him, more focused on his bottles of honey than on Tommy staring at him, mouth hanging open slightly. 

“You can’t be serious,” Tommy tried to get in his line of sight, tried to garner some attention so he could change things. Talking people into a fight was one of Tommy’s greatest talents, half the time against him, but he had also convinced so many people to fight for L’Manberg long after Wilbur went over the edge. He could do so again. “Techno, your whole thing is stopping tyrants– And Dream is the biggest tyrant out there! He treats us all like– like bugs–” 

“He treats _you_ like a bug. He hasn’t bothered me,” Techno maintained his cold facade. Techno wasn’t entering another war, not even for– _especially_ not for Tommy. Not again. 

“What, so all this was just you playing along and pretending to make me feel better?” Tommy was quickly growing more upset. 

“I’m not _pretending._ I’ve been nothing but honest. I’ve let you stay here half the time, what more do you want from me?” Techno frowned, doing his best not to respond with frustration. 

“I _want_ you to help me. I can’t… I can’t do this on my own,” Tommy went from anger to desperation far too easily. 

“I _have_ been helping you, I’m just not gonna fight for you,” Techno refused to waver. 

“Techno, Techno, please, I can’t fight Dream alone. I need something to help me. I want to fight too, but you could defend me–” 

“That’s enough, Tommy!” Techno burst out. Tommy, out of carelessness rather than real cruelty, had done exactly what Techno had been resisting. It wasn’t just the responsibility this warranted, it was that this made him feel like just a weapon again. He refused to be like that ever again. Techno had tread lightly around Tommy through all of this, he knew he was hurting and scared, but that didn’t mean he was going to be used by him again. Unfiltered anger bubbled up, they had finally found even ground, they had finally felt like _brothers_ again, and all of it was crumbling away as Techno rebuilt his walls. Techno wasn’t a weapon. With each word he stepped closer, cornering Tommy towards the door. “I’m not your babysitter, I’m not your _friend_ , I’m not _the Blade_ and I’m not gonna rescue you from your own choices.” 

It was cruel. Techno was too angry to care. _I need something to help me._ Techno wasn’t going to be that _something._ No way in hell. 

Techno didn’t know why he still expected Tommy to blow up into anger, to yell about how much he hates him, that lack of passion was part of the whole problem. Instead, Tommy just goes quiet, no longer looking at him, backed against the door. “Right, then,” he says it softly, certainly, like an understanding had been met, but all it yielded was bitterness. “Glad we cleared things up.” 

Techno’s first instinct was to apologize, his second was to stand his ground. The voices seemed conflicted on the matter as well, half praising him for defending himself and his newfound pacifism, the rest demanding he make it up to Tommy. 

Tommy, without a word, took off the cloak he had gotten and moved to drop it on the floor. 

_Keep it,_ Techno wanted to say. He couldn’t explain why he held his silence. Why he stayed there even as Tommy left, even as the silence of the cabin suffocated him, the cloak crumpled on the floor seemed to take up more space. “He’ll be back, guys. He always comes back.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're getting closer to the conclusion! I really wanted Tommy to have his realization about Dream of his own volition, so Techno shared his opinion, of course, but Tommy's epiphany was his own.
> 
> As always, thank you guys for the sweet comments <3 I appreciate you all


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tommy's attempted suicide happens in this chapter, nongraphic and he doesn't go through with it ofc, but wanted to give some warning! (sorry for the spoilers lol)

Days passed with no visitors. Techno couldn’t complain about being alone, because the voices wouldn’t shut up. It was worse than it had been in a long time, but the majority were not pushing him to break his pacifism. It was a never ending stream of anger and concern. _WHERE IS HE. CHECK ON HIM. WHY ISN'T TOMMY THERE. WHERE IS TOMMY. TECHNOBLADE GO LOOK._

He ignored them all. Tommy clearly wanted some time away, he was the one who chose to leave, so Techno would abide by that. He wasn’t going to go running off to Logsted for no good reason. 

Still, Techno found himself putting together a spare bed on the main floor. The voices responded to that too, with fervor and enthusiasm which quickly turned to irritation as he made no move to invite Tommy back. 

“Stop it, chat. This isn’t for Tommy. This is a guest bed for _Phil,_ and when Tommy comes back if he wants to stay here, I guess he can use it too,” Techno teased them for their incessant worry and _caring._ He rarely saw this side of the voices, naturally so hellbent on drawing blood. 

The problem with having a spare bed was now whenever he came home, it remaining empty was a stark reminder that Tommy wasn’t there, that there was a place for him to be there. Tommy had gone days without visiting before. This was still new, it hadn’t exactly become routine yet. Maybe Tommy was just taking a longer stretch between visits. 

A week was nothing. Maybe it meant Tommy was keeping busy at Logsted. Maybe it meant more people had come to visit him. 

Naiveté was not Techno’s strong suit. 

Still, the longer Tommy was gone the easier it was to detach from his concern. “You all need to stop asking about him. I am not going to go find him. You know what? Good riddance, we’re better off now. No one trying to drag us out of retirement, no one complainin’ over our shoulder, all we gotta worry about are the bees.” 

It took days more for Techno to realize that he wasn’t growing more at ease with Tommy being gone, he was growing more desperate. Every moment spent resenting Tommy’s presence was deliberate. It was easier to work on that bitterness than to consider what Tommy being gone might actually mean. 

The voices were only a reflection of that worry, the noise growing worse and worse, a perpetual headache haunting beside his other worries. 

“Shut up, shut up shut up– Just shut up, will you?! Give me a break!” Techno was kept awake now, hitting his head against the shelves beside his bed because that pain was less jarring than the panicked chorus echoing around his skull. That got them to settle for maybe a minute, before a mixture of apologies, demands that the others be quiet, and spiteful noise took over. 

Techno was normally quite good at blocking them out, but he was finding it difficult to keep a level head as of late. 

_He’s been alone with Dream for weeks now. Just think about how fragile his psyche was the last time you saw him. You know he hasn’t gotten better, right?_ Wilbur’s cruel, snide tone was reminiscent of the last days. The darkest days. 

Phil– _actual_ Phil, not his pathetic excuse for a conscience, wasn’t much more help. 

“He still hasn’t been back?” Phil could read his expression far too easily. 

“What? Tommy? No. He hasn’t, but so what?” Techno shrugged him off. 

“Mhm,” Phil said it like he knew something Techno didn’t. Techno hated it when he did that. 

“So what? He was trying to get me to fight again, Phil. You know I can’t do that,” Techno defended himself. He remained resolute on that point. He tried to refocus on gathering supplies for their trip to the nether today. Phil wouldn’t let go so easily. 

“I know, I know. I wouldn’t expect you to. But have you considered checking up on him maybe?” Phil asked carefully. 

“Have _you?_ He’s your kid,” Techno shot back. 

“He’s your brother,” Phil countered. 

“He’s– He’s _not_ my brother. He’s a kid I grew up with and outgrew. He’s the one who came back to haunt me. I was _done_ with all of this until Wilbur asked for help,” Techno snapped. 

“And you helped him.” 

“I didn’t do it for _him._ ” Techno hissed. A cruel manifestation of Wilbur’s voice echoed in the back of his head. _Wrong._ “I came here to follow what I believed in. I came here to tear down the government that’s _it._ Wilbur was the one who called in a favor. Tommy was the one who came to my house. I didn’t _ask_ for any of this.” 

Phil looked not quite sad and not quite disappointed, but something somewhere in between. “You can’t outrun family, Techno. Not like this.” 

“Well I can sure try,” Techno slammed down a pickaxe, venting his anger there instead of at Phil. 

“Why do you keep me around then, Techno? You didn’t run away from me. The opposite, in fact. You invited me out here.” 

“It’s different with you, Phil. Compared to _Tommy?_ It’s worlds away.” 

Phil saw how Techno was avoiding him, doing his best not to look Phil in the eye. He crept into his peripheral, leaning forward to garner his attention. “Am I not your dad anymore, Techno?” 

Techno wanted to say _no_ , like it was that easy, but a pang of guilt made him hesitate. “You’re… you’re my friend, Phil. You’re the only one who’s stuck by me through all of this.” 

“Yeah, I am your friend, Techno. Can’t I be both?” Phil pushed gently. 

Techno gritted his teeth. “I think _friend_ is the more manageable option at the moment, Phil. Let’s keep things simple, okay?” 

Phil seemed hurt, stepping back as Techno passed him to fetch something else. “Ah. I didn’t realize it was so complicated.” 

That coldness in his tone was enough to make Techno cringe. Much like when Phil had yelled at him for upsetting Tommy the other night, it was hard to get away from the fact that Phil _had_ raised them. Phil was his best friend. Techno hated to admit it, and maybe he never really would, but he didn’t want to let Phil down and it hurt to think that was what he was doing. He wouldn’t waver. Even as the voices endless chanting, declaring Phil as his father now and forever, continued on. 

“Stop, just– Be quiet for a minute…” Techno muttered as the voices continued to chorus their agreement. 

“What? I didn’t say anything, Techno,” Phil looked concerned now, a hand going to Techno’s shoulder. 

“No, not you–” Techno waved him off. 

“Are they getting bad again?” Phil knew. Phil _always_ knew. 

“I’m fine,” Techno snapped. He hated people fussing over him. No one else but Phil dared to try and coddle him anymore. 

“No you’re not, son,” Phil spoke softly, too much understanding. “Remember what we’d do? We talk to them, we thank them for being here for you, and they let go a little.” 

“I try– There’s just so many, and lately I’ve been falling behind with it all,” Techno sighed. 

“Take a minute now. Talk to them. I’ll wait,” Phil took over for him, getting his own pick as Techno took a deep breath and replied to the void. 

“Sorry about that,” Techno refocused. “I don’t like interrupting you to deal with them.” 

“It’s okay, Techno. Don’t worry about it,” Phil pushed onwards, the two of them now walking outside through the snow, the air had that strange dryness of winter, the snow hard on the ground. “I won’t be able to stay long, but we still have the afternoon.” 

Techno knew why Phil would leave early. They were more than a man down. Was there something wrong, even sick, about chasing a ghost? “Any sign of… of Ghostbur?” 

Phil shook his head. “How about I keep looking for Ghostbur, if you keep an eye out for Tommy?” 

“Oh, I know what you’re tryna do there, Phil. Not happening. I’m not babysitting him while you’re out lookin’ for Ghostbur,” Techno knew he must seem pouty, especially to Phil who had seen it all. 

“Fine, fine. You make your own choices,” Phil yielded, laughing lightly. “I mean, Dream seems to be around a lot. So he’s not totally alone.” 

Techno gave him a look. “Don’t pretend that if given the choice you wouldn’t want Dream to leave Tommy alone forever.” 

Phil grimaced. “Nothing we can do on that front, I’m afraid.” 

Techno huffed. “Yup. Two of the greatest warriors anyone here has ever seen and we can’t do nothin’.” 

“Nothing _yet_ ,” Phil pointed out. “I’m not leaving him out there, Techno. Even if I can’t pull him out safely right now, he won’t be there forever. He deserves to be back home. In L’Manberg with his friends.” 

“And how’re you gonna do that?” Techno scoffed. 

“Very, very carefully,” Phil sighed. “I’m not meant for politics. I prefer surviving out in the wilderness, fighting, not talking, you know that, but this… I think talking our way out is the safest bet.” 

“I hate that,” Techno muttered. 

“You said it yourself, Techno. We don’t need another fight right now.” 

“I mean, ideally ever. I don’t think pacifism is something you’re supposed to turn on and off,” Techno shrugged. 

Phil looked endeared, “well, I hope your optimism on that one pans out.” He looked ahead towards the portal just over the hill, seemingly lost in thought. “Sometimes I don’t know if we deserve it.” 

Techno felt a weight returning. “I don’t know if it’s so much about deserve. I think it’s more we’ve got to try and do damage control. I’ve caused a lot of damage, Phil.” 

Phil sighed heavily and Techno thought of Wilbur. “You and me both, son.” 

Days more alone, Techno fighting a losing battle appeasing the voices, until finally Techno was forced to reckon with the fact that he was scared. That fear wouldn’t leave him alone. Tommy had been gone for a matter of weeks now. Techno only grew more paranoid. _Dream could’ve killed him in this amount of time and you wouldn’t know,_ Wilbur’s tone mocking him. 

The voices contributed with passion, as per usual. This day in particular standing out only in that they were especially fussy. The night before they had been in a panic, settling a few hours after dawn. 

Normally Techno would have ignored this, he would have pushed past it as Phil taught him to, but just before dusk their standard complaining turned to hysteria. _GO HE NEEDS HELP._ _TOMMY NEEDS YOU._ _GO ON BLOOD GOD._ It was strange how he could _feel_ the shift in tone, their usual incessant shouting was united in a shared understanding, a shared fear. 

Techno was gripped by panic. He was almost scared to acknowledge this sudden burst of terror, the fact that they clearly knew something more than he did. Something _bad._

Instead of getting anything done, he spent his time pacing, waiting for Dream’s presence to disappear. 

“You guys happy now? We’re going. Okay? We’re going, as soon as I can,” Techno snapped. The problem was, they wanted him to go _now_ , but Dream was still there and he was _not_ looking for a fight. Finally, that presence vanished. There was only a short gap between the voices turning to desperate pleading and Dream leaving. He didn’t know what kind of damage could occur in so little time. 

“Yes! Okay, we can go,” Techno grabbed Carl and rushed over the snow the moment Dream left, the sun soon to set. It wasn’t the mobs he was worried about. Techno’s heart was racing, and amidst those egging him on, the occasional snide voice pointed out that he wanted Tommy to be okay. Techno couldn’t have cared less. He _needed_ Tommy to be okay. 

Techno didn’t know what he expected to greet him as he approached Logstedshire. A crater wasn’t it. 

“No– No no no– Tommy!” Techno slid off Carl’s back and ran towards the pillar still slowly climbing into the sky. “Don’t move! Give me one second to get some water–” 

Tommy jumped, startled, but managed to keep his grip on the top of his pillar. “T-Technoblade? You can’t be here. Oh, shit– You can’t be here, when he finds out, he’s gonna– He’s gonna– What’re you doing–” 

“What am _I_ doing, what’re _you_ doing, Tommy?!” Techno rushed from the beach up the hill to Tommy’s pillar, spreading water underneath him. 

Tommy muttered something noncommittally. 

“What?” Techno paused, peering up at him with squinted eyes, unable to properly make him out in the growing dark. 

“Thought it’d be obvious…” 

“Okay, I guess I could’ve been a little more clear. Should’ve just said– don’t jump!” Techno shouted irritatedly. 

“Well, I’m gonna _have_ to jump eventually if I want to get down,” Tommy was teasing him now, but his voice still shook. 

“Okay. Okay– Aim for the water and don’t be stupid!” Techno stepped back. “Tommy?” Techno shouted up again as Tommy remained sitting on the ledge, unmoving. 

“Why should I?” Tommy sounded like he was truly asking Techno for a reason. “I mean, you said you wouldn’t help me. I thought I could… I thought I could go after Dream on my own and…” the silence that followed was stifling, stirring anger in the back of Techno’s mind. “It didn’t go well.” 

“Come down and we can talk about this!” Techno tried desperately. “Can you just come down here?” 

“You’re not exactly good at talking people down,” Tommy laughed a little hysterically. “Either this kills me now or Dream kills me later, right? Next time I fuck up and he doesn’t think I...” His voice grew too soft for Techno to make out. 

“Tommy, Dream is not gonna kill you!” 

“Yeah. You’re right, _I’m_ gonna do it first,” Tommy snapped, leaning forward, teetering dangerously towards the edge. Water would break his fall, hopefully. Tommy muttered something else Techno couldn’t quite catch. 

“Tommy– Please! Please don’t do this. Please just come down,” Techno was more desperate than angry. 

“You’ve sort of covered my bases. Doubt I could reach dry ground from here now,” Tommy said. “I’ll find another way…” He faltered as he said it. 

That struck more anxiety into him. Tommy could survive this fall now, but there were other ways to die out here. Wilbur drifted to the forefront of his mind and something shifted inside of him. That fear was replaced by unwavering certainty. He was not going to lose anyone else. “Tommy! Dream is _not_ gonna hurt you, okay? He won’t come near you,” Techno shouted up with utter conviction. 

“Shut it! You don’t know what it’s like– You don’t know what it’s been like–” 

“Yeah, yeah I don’t. Get down here and tell me then,” Techno tried. A pause. “Tommy… Dream is not gonna hurt you because I won’t let him. Okay? He wants you, he’s gonna have to go through me.” 

Silence, Techno unable to make out Tommy’s expression in the dark as he stood on the edge. He didn’t reply, only a scream and a splash. Techno rushed to the edge of the water, Tommy trudging towards the bank and shaking out his wet hair. Tommy stopped short, keeping a few metres between them, arms folded over his chest. 

“Did you mean that?” Tommy began, so careful and guarded. “I thought you said… I thought you said you were done fighting.” 

“Yeah, that was the goal,” Techno sighed. He looked around at the crumbled remains of Logstedshire. “I don’t think I really care anymore.” 

“Why?” 

“ _Why?_ ” Techno repeated, staring at him. Tommy looked so small. Soaking wet, hunched over like he was trying to make himself smaller. Techno couldn’t make out any injuries in the dark but it didn’t take blood to know something was deeply wrong. Techno struggled to form a response. There wasn’t really a proper explanation for why he was out here, nothing had changed, really. “You were about to jump, what was I supposed to–” 

“So that’s why you said it. Just to talk me down?” Tommy stepped back. “Fuck, he’s gonna be so mad at me for talking to you–” 

“Tommy, no– That’s not what I meant–” 

“Oh, fuck– If he’s the one to kill me– It’s not gonna be easy– _This_ was supposed to be easy– What the fuck was I thinking–” Tommy stumbled back tugging on fistfuls of his hair, chest heaving as he struggled to breathe. “H-He’s gonna kill me and it’s gonna hurt and– and–” 

“ _Tommy!_ Dream is not gonna kill you,” Techno all but shouted at him. “Do you hear me? It’s not gonna happen. It’s _not happening._ Dream isn’t gonna go near you ever again. Over my dead body, okay?” 

Tommy giggled, everything about him so _manic_ and off, “over your dead body, eh? Ha, that’s funny, Techno… Technoblade never dies…” 

“Yep. Technoblade never dies,” Techno tried to steady him, reaching out with the intention of putting a hand on his shoulder, but not wanting to get too close, not when Tommy was so shaken. As Tommy wasn’t currently in the midst of a suicide attempt, he had to ask. “What happened here, Tommy?” 

Tommy stared bitterly at the crater. “I was stupid… I didn’t listen to what Dream asked of me. I tried to… I tried to arm myself and keep it from him. And when he found out…” He flinched, shaking his head and staring at the ground. “He destroyed _everything._ I– I don’t have any food, any weapons. Even if I hadn’t jumped I dunno if I would’ve lasted out here for much longer. I’m not allowed in the Nether, no one is supposed to visit me,” Tommy glanced at Techno warily. “You better mean what you said, Techno. ‘Cause he’s gonna hurt me for seeing you.” 

Techno didn’t respond at first. It was like a gut punch to know that Tommy had suffered like this because Techno had refused to help him. That was the truth of it. Tommy had tried to prepare alone and Dream hurt him for it. 

Techno took a deep breath. That rage– and guilt– could be dealt with later. “Come on, Tommy. Is there anything here worth keeping?” Techno stared towards Tommy’s tent, or rather, where his tent used to be. “...Is there anything _left?_ ” 

“No, there’s nothing– Wait,” Tommy shook his head, stepping further away. “I shouldn’t… I shouldn’t leave. If I leave Dream’ll be angry. He’s… He said he was my friend. He said he would still see me sometimes. He said he’d still come every week to watch me.” Tommy looked so damn skittish. He seemed scared of Techno and scared of being here alone and he was definitely scared of Dream, even if he wishes he wasn’t. 

“Tommy…” Techno didn’t want to pity Tommy, but it was hard not to. His first instinct was to say _okay, we’re leaving. Now._ The problem was choice was one of the main things that had been stolen from Tommy. Techno was going to help him, and the first step in all that was letting Tommy choose to leave. “Dream is the one who did all of this. I’m not gonna make you leave, but come on. Just come back to my house. He’s hurt you a whole lot more than he’s been nice to you.” 

Tommy frowned, trying to take in his words. Techno couldn’t wrap his head around whatever the hell was going on with Tommy now. _Brainwashing_ was the only word that came to mind. 

“Yeah… Yeah alright. I’ll go back with you,” Tommy tried to force some conviction into his words. “Yeah. Yeah, Dream isn’t supposed to be back for a while… he won’t know where I’ve gone.” 

“Exactly,” Techno turned back, whistling Carl over. He turned back as Tommy didn’t move. “Tommy?” 

Tommy seemed frozen, staring back at the water behind him. He was shivering. Techno waited, not saying a word. 

“Right then,” Tommy spoke softly. “L-Let’s–” He took a shaky inhale. Standing on that beach, finally with a way out, and Tommy still seemed afraid. “Let’s go,” those two words seemed like a victory. 

Techno nodded, moving to help Tommy up onto Carl’s back. 

Techno paused, turning Tommy around. In general he was looking awfully singed, his clothes even more tattered than before, his collarbones more prominent, but he especially noticed a nasty burn on his arm. Tommy whimpered when Techno pulled him closer to look at it, whether pain or fear Techno was too distracted to tell. 

“This is… this is from an arrow.” 

“Yeah? And?” 

“This wasn’t a skeleton, Tommy. This was a flaming arrow,” Techo said it again with more emphasis. 

Tommy didn’t seem to follow. “...Yeah?” 

Techno let go of Tommy’s arm, thinking he might accidentally hurt him as more anger took place. “He shot you?” 

“I wasn’t listening. He asked for my stuff and I didn’t give it to him at first,” Tommy said it so casually, like he was stating the obvious, like he _deserved_ it. “He… He didn’t kill me,” he said that like somehow it made all of this okay. 

“Right,” Techno muttered, staring at the burn with a vengeance. He couldn’t even fathom what was going on in Tommy’s head enough to think of something to say in response to all that. “Come on,” he helped Tommy into Carl’s saddle. “I’ll get you a pot’ for it when we get back…” A pause. “Where’s your shoe?” Techno grew even more puzzled before getting into the saddle in front of him. “How did you lose a _shoe?_ ” He glanced over his shoulder, Tommy staring off into space, looking grim. “Tommy?” 

Tommy silently mouthed the words, _to come and watch me,_ deep in thought. “He was just there to watch me. Wasn’t he?” Tommy said. He didn’t seem to expect an answer. “He didn’t care about me.” Tommy sighed, leaning forward and resting his head against Techno’s back. “I’m so tired, Techno. I thought he was my friend.” 

“It’s late. Let’s just go.” 

Tommy kept talking, anger taking over exhaustion. “He was just here to _watch_ me! He wasn’t here ‘cause he was my friend. He left me out here in this– In this shithole! I am the _only_ one who never listens so of course he does this shit and– And he would just come out here and–” 

“I know, Tommy. It’s late. Let’s just get back to the house.” 

“I– He was my friend. I thought– _Why_ did I think that? You know what? He _is_ scared of me. He’s got to be.” 

Techno sighed. _What’ve I gotten myself into?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. So. Weeks ago I had this whole thing planned where Dream would question where Tommy had been and would blow up all of his stuff when he found out he'd been leaving to visit Technoblade and then Tommy would fall apart and contemplate y'know, bad stuff, before Technoblade would show up and offer him shelter. And. Well. Canon basically did that. So. I went with my original plan and tweaked it to suit canon more, including Technoblade saying the family thing isn't canon but in my brain, it's found family, not biological family, and even if he doesn't think of them the same way, Phil still feels like he's their dad and Wilbur still thinks they're his brothers and so on. Techno and Tommy seem less insistent on them being family, but I'm making it work!


	6. Chapter 6

Tommy was still shivering when they got back to the house, clothes still wet and freezing to his skin as they had rode into the cold. Techno almost went to help him off the horse before stopping himself. _He’s not your baby brother and he does not need your help with every little thing._ Tommy looked warily back the way they had come. Techno didn’t know what was troubling him at present, but he could guess the gist.

“He’s not even on right now, Tommy. You’re safe,” he said it not really with a comforting tone, rather a dull statement of fact, even annoyed. Tommy seemed to accept it regardless. 

“Right…” He muttered, following Techno inside without looking back. 

Techno rummaged through a chest, digging, looking for something specific. “Yeah, nothing I have is gonna fit you. But this’ll be your best bet,” he tossed him an old shirt and pants as well as socks. 

Tommy caught it bemusedly. “Why do you still have this stuff?” He recognized it vaguely, old clothes from when Techno was a teenager. 

“Phil said he found it. Dunno why he left it here,” Techno replied a little gruffly. The night had already been emotionally taxing without bringing this kind of nostalgia into play. 

“A bed!” Tommy fell face first onto the cot Techno had assembled by the fire. “I knew you’d come around. Next step is getting me my own room!” 

“Not happening,” Techno grumbled before wordlessly passing Tommy a health potion. “That bed was for Phil, but if you’re gonna stay here, I guess…” 

“Aw, come on, it’ll be good for me mental health,” Tommy said jauntily before chugging the bottle with a grimace, his hand going to his shoulder as it healed. 

“Speaking of, you were a mess like a half hour ago, how’re you this annoying?” 

“Well, I’d be better with my own room. My own house, even.” 

Techno went to the fireplace, lighting it. “You know I can take that bed back any time I want.” 

Tommy didn’t respond to this, just sort of huffed in offended and anxious surprise. 

“I take that back. That came out worse than I meant,” Techno added quickly. “I’m not gonna take anything from you, Tommy. I mean, if it’s mine I will, obviously, but…” Techno sighed, he didn’t like this vulnerability. “This bed is yours. Those clothes are yours. And tomorrow I’ll help you get set up with some tools and stuff, okay?” 

“You’re… worried about me.” 

“Considering you should still be on suicide watch, yeah I’m a little worried about you.” 

“Well, back then I was ‘omeless, depressed, totally alone, couldn’t fight back, even my fuckin’ _cow_ was dead–” 

“ _Back then?_ You mean an hour ago?” Techno scoffed. “Wait– Dream burned down your house and all your supplies and could’ve killed you, and you’re upset over a _cow?_ ” 

Tommy sat up, pouting. “His name was mushroom Henry! He was a gift!” He scuffed his bare foot against the floor. “I’m trying to apologize, and I turn around and he’s already killed him…” Tommy scrunched up his face, looking nauseous. “Don’t get used to that ever, do you? Slaughtering animals… First time with Henry’s skin waved in my face was bad enough…” 

“Y’know, I’m not gonna comment on that,” Techno said gruffly. “Although…” He sighed. There was no harm in trying to be kind to Tommy, even if he didn’t want to. “I know what you mean. All my cows were slaughtered. It’s just the one left downstairs.” 

Tommy, rather than respond to Techno offering up some empathy, moved right on past it with no regard for Techno’s reluctance. “You got any smaller socks? These’re huge.” 

“No. Just be grateful you can even wear those,” Techno grew more annoyed. He didn’t know what he had expected from the kid, emotional reciprocity? Catharsis? Unlikely. 

“Barely can. They’re fuckin’ weird and keep sliding off– You got string? I could tie ‘em up. What the hell am I gonna do about my shoes?” 

Tommy just kept talking, his exhaustion left behind, apparently. At least he was excited about something. Tommy kept his confident demeanor up, but he was still shivering. He still looked bad. The bags under his eyes had only gotten worse, his hair matted, his clothes tattered, there was dirt under his fingernails, all over really, blood too. A lot of blood everywhere. Not just from the nasty wound on his shoulder, he was an amalgamation of scrapes and bruises and burns, evidence of surviving totally alone, of surviving desperately with no help and instead with someone who robbed you every other day. His fall into the water was enough to smear it, fade it, turn the dirt to mud, but he still wasn’t clean. He still wasn’t taken care of. _He’s safe now. He’s here and he’s not going back._

“I can ask Phil to look and see if he has anything that’ll fit you tomorrow,” Techno sighed. “Don’t you want to go to bed?” 

Tommy faltered at this. “Y-Yeah. Just…” He glanced to the window, in the direction of Logstedshire. 

“He’s not on, Tommy. He isn’t coming.” 

“Yeah, I know,” Tommy said like he really didn’t know. 

“Right. G’night, Tommy. Scream if Dream shows up with that creepy mask in the window.” 

“Hey, not funny!” 

Techno still laughed in that loud, dry way that annoyed Tommy further. 

Techno, for all his talk, did not rest easily, one ear out for any noise outside besides the usual mobs. 

He was up before dawn, having spent the night plotting. He needed to make some insurances for when Dream came knocking, because he would come eventually, no doubt about it. He didn’t need Tommy following him around in a panic, it would be easier if he got things done now, get back before Tommy woke up. Dream wasn’t on so Techno had no qualms about leaving Tommy here alone. Although… maybe he should be more worried about the damage Tommy could do. 

Techno thought he was rather sneaky, so he was startled when Tommy spoke up. 

“Don’t… stop it… s-stop it–” Tommy muttered crossly. Techno froze, looking back at him. “I don’t want to… I don’t want to do this… Stop it– We can’t do this– Stop it, this- this isn’t right…” 

Techno hesitated, a strange ache in his chest at the thought that Tommy couldn’t even find peace in sleep. _Dream is gonna burn for this._ The voices agreed avidly. 

“Tommy..?” Techno’s voice came out hoarse, as he reached out towards him, unsure if he should touch his shoulder and shake him awake. “Tommy…” 

“I don’t want to be… This isn’t right…” Tommy whimpered, curled into a ball, head tucked in his hands, his whole body tense. 

“Tommy,” Techno toughened up and shook his shoulder. 

Tommy yelped, falling off the bed and scrambling back into a corner, wide awake in an instant. He was breathing heavily, chest heaving, pale and clammy with sweat, brushing damp hair from his face and glancing around the dark room in a panic. 

“Tommy, you’re okay. You’re fine, it’s just me. You’re safe,” Techno spoke slowly and calmly, careful to keep his distance. 

Tommy, coming around to proper awareness of his surroundings, grew defensive, wiping his eyes hastily, caught off guard by Techno looking at him with such caution. “What’d you wake me up for? What the hell are you doing up anyway?” 

Techno sighed. “You whining isn’t gonna change what I just saw. It’s immature. Don’t know what I expected. Guess I shoulda known better by now.” 

Tommy said nothing, merely stared at him warily. 

“So. You wanna talk about it?” Techno didn’t know what made him say it. It went against his nature, but he couldn’t help but offer. Just as he couldn’t deny that seeing Tommy shaken up like that had scared him. “Dream?” 

“Yeah… a bad one,” Tommy admitted grudgingly, a hand went to the wound on his shoulder, almost fully healed now thanks to Techno’s potions. 

“I meant Dream as in _Dream_ , but yeah. Nightmare too.” 

Tommy hesitated. 

“What?” Techno pushed. “What is it, Tommy? I’m not gonna make you talk about it or whatever, but just thought I’d at least offer…” Techno turned away, rummaging for his pick, Tommy remaining silent behind him, until: 

“It wasn’t about Dream.” 

“Huh?” 

“The dream– the– the nightmare– it wasn’t about Dream.” 

Techno slowly turned to face him, a different feeling replacing annoyance– dread. “...what was it about, then?” 

“It’s the same one. The same one I keep having over and over– and it’s– It’s–” He seemed to struggle to get the words out now, “it’s _Wil_ , it’s Wilbur. Saying the same fuckin’ thing over and over…” 

“What?” Techno couldn’t quantify the horror this furthered, he couldn’t process fully what Tommy was saying to him, because all that could come to mind was the role he had played in Wilbur’s decline. 

“ _Let’s be the bad guys._ ” Tommy shook his head. “I-I don’t want to be the bad guy, Techno. I kept trying to tell him to stop, that this wasn’t the right thing– it wasn’t the _moral_ thing to do but he just keeps going, _let’s be the bad guys._ And-And blow it all to hell and I can’t stop dreaming about it, Techno. I can’t stop hearing those words in my head and I think I must be going crazy.” 

“Does that happen… often?” Was all Techno could think to say. 

Tommy cringed. “Yeah… yeah, most nights.” 

Techno took note of that, that him finding Tommy in a nightmare was sheer luck, that there had likely been other nights where Techno was just far enough not to hear Tommy talking to himself. 

“Yeah… this isn’t really my area of expertise. Dunno what helps with nightmares. I bet there’s a potion out there to help with sleeping, but not one I’ve ever found,” Techno had no idea what to do here, completely out of his depth. 

“I didn’t ask for your help…” Tommy muttered. 

“Yeah but you definitely need it,” Techno shot back. “Just… Just go back to sleep, Tommy. I’ll be back in a couple hours.” 

Tommy scrambled to his feet. “Where’re- Where’re you going?” He sounded more panicked now. “Please- Please don’t leave me alone, what if-“ 

“He’s not here, Tommy. If he comes on I’ll be here before he can get to the house. Promise. I just… I’ve just got to do some stuff first.” 

Tommy nodded reluctantly. “Yeah… okay.” 

“Get yourself a bucket of water, get washed up. You’re a mess. There’re more health pots in that chest, take what you need, okay?” 

Tommy nodded silently, staring at him anxiously. “What’re you gonna go do?” 

“I won’t be long. Just… some precautions.” Techno thought any more explanations would convince Tommy he planned on them losing against Dream. Not to say he wasn’t, but he was planning on winning too. “You get lonely, talk to Hubert or Carl. They’ll put up with you better than I will.” 

“A-And if Dream comes on?” 

“I’ll come back as fast as I can,” Techno promised. “We need to get you fitted out with tools and armor, but there are invis’ potions in that chest. Hide out if it makes you feel better.” 

“Can’t I come with you?” Tommy wasn’t to be calmed so easily. 

“You’re not trekkin’ through the snow with one shoe and no supplies, Tommy. You’re not up for this yet,” Techno said firmly. 

“Fine…” Tommy still gave in too easily. 

“I should only be a few hours.” 

“ _Hours?_ ” 

“You’ve been alone for weeks, you can make it a few hours.” 

Techno remained calm and casual, but he still hurried, moving carefully and silently towards his portal. First stop, L’Manberg. Then, some work in between. 

The sun had risen and Techno was halfway home when it happened: 

**Dream joined the game**

“Calm down, chat. I’m almost back,” Techno kept his tone dull and calm, but his heart and pace were just a little faster. 

Techno barged into the house with a little too much urgency, this meant he was especially taken by surprise when a sword swung to meet him, cutting into his arm which he raised to defend himself, his other arm already swinging back with his own sword on pure instinct. 

“Stay back you sonofabitch! Get away from me! I-I’ll tear into you! I’m not going back with him!” Tommy managed to sound furious instead of terrified, but Techno knew better. 

Techno deftly tripped him, Tommy hitting the ground hard, sword clattering to the ground and Techno stepping on the flat of the blade so he couldn’t pick it up again. Tommy abandoned the sword, scrambling to his feet, staring between Techno and the open door, before bolting for it. Technoblade grabbed him around the waist, holding him back, Tommy seemed to choke on a scream, desperately trying to pull away, clawing at Techno’s chest like a wild animal, managing to get a swipe against Techno’s face as well, a stream of words shouted out incoherently, somewhere still between rage and terror. 

“Let-go-of-me-you-fucking-asshole–I’ll-kill-you-I’m-gonna-” 

“Calm down! Stop– Stop _fighting_ , Tommy, just calm down! He isn’t here! Dream isn’t here,” Techno shouted over his struggling. Coming to his senses, he realized holding onto Tommy probably wasn’t helping him keep calm, so he dropped him, which was also not ideal as Tommy hit the ground hard again, crying out as he hit the floor, kicking away to put some distance between them. 

Techno dropped his sword, crouching down and staying clear of the door, giving Tommy an exit. “Calm down. Just take a minute. It’s just me.” 

Tommy finally settled, breathing hard. Techno didn’t know what he had expected. Techno was vigilant, Tommy was paranoid. 

“S-Sorry– I’m so sorry, I panicked. I just panicked I wasn’t trying to fight you, well, I was, but not like that–” 

“Tommy, it’s okay. I’m not mad at you. You’re not in trouble,” Techno returned to his usual cool and neutral tone, watching Tommy carefully. After another moment’s hesitation, he kicked the diamond sword Tommy had found back over to him. “What happened to our plan, huh? You were supposed to take an invis’ potion and hide out of you got freaked out.” 

“W-What?” Tommy seemingly hadn’t thought of that. “I… It was stupid. I was stupid, I thought–” 

“Dude, just take a minute to breathe, you’re still spacing out,” Techno was never good at soothing words. 

“I thought… I thought you might’ve gone to get Dream. Dunno why, I was fuckin’ convinced that you were bringing him right to me. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have…” 

“No harm done,” Techno covered the cut on his arm. That did little to mask the fact that Tommy had also clawed his cheek enough to break skin. Tommy was quite the terror when he needed to be. 

“I’m sorry…” 

Techno sighed, tired of Tommy apologizing. He wasn’t _supposed_ to apologize, that wasn’t the _point_ of him. “Well, I got you boots,” he said dully, tossing them over to him. 

“You…” Tommy stared at them. 

“They won’t fit perfectly but should be good enough that you can walk through the snow.” 

“Where’d you get _boots_ from out here?” 

“I didn’t get them from out here,” Techno hesitated. “I got them from the main lands of the SMP.” Techno did not mention that he hadn’t been able to find much at Tommy’s old house as it was utterly ransacked, but that new kid Ranboo was also stupidly tall so his shoes would probably fit, right? He was humanoid enough. Besides, the kid needed to learn to hide his stuff. 

“Right…” 

“Oh. And I got you armor. I was planning on getting you netherite, but this is a lot better than what you’ve got now,” Techno returned to the cellar, fetching the diamond chestplate he had thrown down there days ago. 

“You just… _had_ this?” 

“Uh. Yeah. Grabbed it from my old base days ago.” 

“Were you… _planning_ on me coming here?” 

“Does it matter? Why would I leave perfectly good armor there for those government shills to take?” 

“Right…” 

“Come on. Now that you’re not gonna drop dead if it’s a little windy out, let’s get you some _actual_ gear,” Techno stood, already ready to return to the Nether. 

“Where’re we going?” Tommy, hastily finishing securing his armor and lacing up his stolen boots, stood to follow him, taking the diamond sword from the floor. 

“Uh. The Nether?” Techno thought it would be obvious. He wasn’t sure why _that_ would give Tommy anxiety over everything. 

“He said I wasn’t allowed in the Nether,” Tommy froze. 

“How about we ignore what Dream says,” Techno said dryly. Tommy nodded at this, as if trying to convince himself. “If it’ll make you feel better…” Techno rummaged through one more chest, returning with a fire resistance potion. “And I can keep the Piglins off your back,” he added, only half kidding. 

“Thanks, Techno,” Tommy smiled, something more reminiscent of his old self in it. Tommy _did_ look better, the wound on his shoulder fully healed and his many bruises gone or faded. 

“You don’t look like you’re homeless anymore. Or like you’re about to drop dead.” 

“Yeah! I feel better,” Tommy seemed more enthused at this. “These’ve been helping.” 

“Are those… my gapples?” 

“No…” 

“Are you serious– All the food I have and you took a bunch of gapples?!” 

Tommy walked faster, keeping ahead of him now and shoving the gapples back in his bag. 

“Slow down! I’m not gonna _take_ them from you! Just– Take some bread next time! There’re perfectly good steaks at the house, are those not good enough for you–” 

Techno caught up to Tommy, frozen just outside the portal over the hill, staring at the block of TNT waiting just beside it. 

“It’s a precaution. Just in case.” 

“In case of what?” Tommy asked quietly. 

“I don’t think you need me to answer that, Tommy.” 

Tommy looked to the portal with grim determination. “I’ll go through first,” it seemed important to him, to take that step first, to show he wasn’t afraid. Techno let him and couldn’t deny a swell of pride when he did. 

The next obstacle was immediate, Techno had just adjusted to the new terrain when he spotted Tommy frozen on the edge of the cliffs, staring down at the lava below, the heat radiating off of their skin and the light bright enough to make Techno squint. He had spent too much time away from the Nether, he wasn’t used to it anymore. Tommy seemed frozen for a different reason. 

“...Tommy?” 

Tommy seemed hypnotized for a moment, staring over the edge, mind racing. Techno was about to reach out and take his arm, fearing he had lost it again, but Tommy actually smirked, leaning forward and spitting over the edge. “You don’t get to be the one to kill me…” He muttered it, the words not meant for Technoblade’s ears. 

“...So you wanna go mining now?” 

“Yeah,” Tommy turned away from the edge and Techno thought he was standing a little straighter now. “Let’s go.” 

Once they got over the initial anxiety of Tommy directly disobeying Dream, things felt natural, they felt alright. Like they were still preparing for a war back in Pogtopia. Days slipping past, both of them always looking over their shoulder just in case, but that instinct could be ignored. Phil came by once, happy to see Tommy moved in. Tommy didn’t bring up the condition in which Techno found him so Techno didn’t either. Neither of them wanted Phil to lose his only life on a vendetta against Dream for pushing Tommy to the brink. 

“And any sign of Ghostbur, Phil?” Tommy asked before the man left. 

Phil was still looking, but it was more so out of obligation than real hope. No one had seen him in civilization, and outside of that… a ghost left no trace to track. “Not yet, kiddo.” 

Once Tommy was out of earshot, Techno walking him a ways into the woods, Phil stopped him. 

“How’s Dream taking this?” 

“No sign of him yet,” Techno said grimly. “I know he’s coming, Phil. I’ll be ready.” 

Phil looked tired. Maybe it was just the dark, the moon reflecting off the snow, but he seemed so sad too. “You’re not gonna be alone in this, Techno. I promise. The moment you need me I’ll be there.” 

“Thanks, Phil. Hopefully it won’t come to that.” Even as Techno said it, he knew neither of them believed it. 

This peace was too good to last. 

Every time Dream came on, a weight hung over them. That fear was good, that fear was why Techno noticed the figure on the horizon. Tommy was still chatting away about something mindless, preparing the netherite scraps they had found thus far. Techno raised a hand to silence him, standing and going to the window. Tommy remained quiet, staring after him in stunned terror. Techno’s fleeting hope that it might be Phil in the distance died. 

“You got your armor on?” 

Behind him, Tommy was going to the enderchest, rummaging for something. No point in keeping objects safe, either Dream would kill him or he would be okay. What he had on him didn’t matter. “Y-Yeah.” 

“Good. Stay here,” Techno took his crossbow and went to the front door. 

Tommy backed into a corner. “Oh shit– You don’t want to fight– You don’t want to _do_ this– He’s gonna fight, Techno, he’s not gonna give up and–and– he’s gonna get me– he’s gonna kill me, a-and it won’t be easy, _fuck_ – Jumping was s-supposed to be easy. Oh _god_ , he’s gonna be so mad at me, he’s g-gonna hurt me–” 

Techno turned back and held onto Tommy’s shoulders, not tightly, but enough to try and ground him. “Tommy, calm down. He’s not gonna take you. If I tell you to come outside, do it–” Tommy shuddered, covering his mouth to muffle a whimper of panic, flinching away– “I am _not_ going to turn you in. You hear me? I swear. Okay? I swear I am _not_ giving you up to him. If you don’t wanna go, I won’t let him take you. Just trust me on this, just come outside when I call, but get ready to take Carl and run for the portal, got it? Tommy, I need you to tell me you understand.” 

“F-Fuck– Why are you defending me? Why bother– M-Maybe I should just go outside, if I just go to him, he won’t hurt me. H-He said he was my friend–” 

“ _Tommy_ ,” Techno spoke more firmly, staring into his wide, terrified eyes. “Friends don’t hurt friends.” 

Tommy nodded, mouthing the words, _friends don’t hurt friends._

Techno left him there, heading out onto his porch, trying to calm the adrenaline already pounding through his chest, telling him to fight, the voices begging for blood. Instead he took a deep breath, raising a hand in greeting as Dream approached, Dream reciprocated cordially. 

“Hey Dream. What’re you doin’ all the way out here?” Techno began, his voice level, no indication of his current plans. He walked down to meet him. 

“You know I’m not here for a social call, Technoblade,” Dream’s tone, the only gauge of his current intent, was cold, but not aggressive. 

“Well, what other kind of call is there? Do you wanna just stare at each other in silence or something?” Techno kept things light, casual, even as his hand was ready to get his loaded crossbow out if Dream took another step. 

“Tommy has… gone missing.” 

“Tommy?” 

“Yeah. Yeah, he’s supposed to be in exile, but now I can’t find him.” 

Techno shuffled from foot to foot, the voices demanding he strike now. Not yet. “Well, if he’s exiled, shouldn’t you just be makin’ sure he isn’t back in L’Manberg?” 

Techno couldn’t read Dream’s expression through the mask, but he could tell he wasn’t humored. 

“I know he’s here, Technoblade.” A far harsher tone now, a shift in posture it was easy to read as aggression, expression visible or not. 

“What’re you talking about?” 

Dream stepped forward, antagonism rising, a hand on his sword. “Don’t make this _difficult._ You have no reason to protect him. I don’t want to fight you, but don’t think I won’t.” 

“Calm down,” Techno raised his hands passively, backing up towards the house. “Give me a second.” 

“No. No– He comes outside right now,” Dream demanded, knowing better than to let Technoblade out of his sight. “Or I burn down your house until he has to come out.” 

“Those’re some big threats, Dream. What makes you so sure he’s here?” Techno remained calm, he already knew eventually the talking would cease, but for now he could push it off, at least long enough to get Tommy and Carl out of here. 

Dream scoffed. “Why’d you need an extra set of armor, Technoblade?” 

“What?” 

“Why did you bring home a diamond chestplate that you do _not_ need?” Dream snapped. 

“Fine,” Techno kept his eyes locked on Dream, not on the soulless mask, but on his hand, still on the hilt of his drawn sword. “Tommy?” He shouted over his shoulder. 

No response. Not that Techno blamed him, he had a feeling Tommy was pacing in a panic inside. 

“Tommy!” Dream called, taking another step towards the house, Techno making sure to block his path. “Get out here right now!” No response. “Screw this– I’m going to get him–” 

Techno reached out a hand, almost putting it against Dream’s chest to push him away. “You don’t have the right to do that. This isn’t your land, Dream.” 

It was difficult to tell through the mask, but Dream was staring at something behind him. “This is _my_ server. _All_ of this is mine.” 

Techno looked over his shoulder, seeing Tommy, armor on and sword in shaking hands, standing on the porch. The three of them were frozen in silence for a moment, the only sound breaking through the snow was Carl huffing nervously in his paddock. 

“What’re you doing out here, Tommy?” Dream’s furious tone turned to one far more friendly, if not scolding, like parent disappointed in a child. 

“I–I–” Tommy couldn’t put together words, stepping back when Dream stepped forward, Techno was resolute, a hand on Dream’s chest stopping him from coming any closer. 

“I thought we had an agreement, Tommy. No visitors until you learned to _listen_ ,” Dreamed acted like Techno wasn’t even there, not resisting his hold, just focused on Tommy. “You didn’t actually think that meant you were allowed to go visit people. I told you the rules, you’re not allowed anywhere that’s been touched. This counts.” 

“S-Stop it…” 

“Sorry _what_ was that?” Dream laughed at his daring. “You did this to yourself, Tommy. Come here. We’re leaving.” 

“Yeah, I don’t think so, Dream,” Techno spoke quietly, something dangerous behind his words, but he still didn’t move against him. Not yet, not with Tommy in the line of fire. 

“Really? You’re gonna leave your only friend for the guy who blew up L’Manberg?” Dream kept on ignoring Techno, trying to keep his influence away from this exchange. Techno dared a glance away from Dream back at Tommy. He remained frozen at the top of the stairs, sword at the ready if Dream should come nearer. 

“Don’t be stupid, Tommy. Drop the sword,” Dream still kept up something of a friendly facade, but there was something sinister beneath it. No one moved, Techno felt his blood pounding in his ears, a cacophony of _blood for the blood god_ made it difficult to focus on anything besides Dream, and how Techno could see his neck through the chink of his armor. How easy it would be to dig his tusks right underneath his helmet… 

“I said _drop the sword._ Final warning or there _will_ be consequences.” 

Techno heard a clatter behind him and couldn’t help but feel disappointed. He didn’t blame Tommy, but he had hoped they’d made more progress in the past days. 

“Better.” Dream seemed to be under the impression that he had won. The mask was off– metaphorically, of course– he wasn’t here to be friendly, he was here to make demands and he expected them to be met. “Come on.” 

Techno did not move, kept himself firmly between Dream and Tommy. 

“I said come _here._ ” Tommy still didn’t move. Dream stepped back so Techno was no longer holding him. He seemed frustrated. “You’re really going to listen to _him_ over me?” 

“No, I don’t decide what Tommy does. I just make sure _you_ don’t decide for him either,” Techno kept his voice calm and level. 

Dream continued to ignore him, returning to gentler words once again. “I am the only one who has been looking out for you. Don’t throw that away. I’m your _friend._ Come on, you’re only postponing the inevitable, Tommy. The harder this is for me the harder it’s going to be for you.” 

Techno, for all his efforts to remain neutral and passive, to avoid sparking conflict, could not stop himself from snapping, “you don’t threaten him, you got that?” This got Dream’s attention, he stared at him, both of them unsure if this was the part where weapons were drawn and blood would be spilled. 

Tommy surprised them both by breaking the tension. “If you were my friend, you wouldn’t hurt me.” Unbeknownst to Techno and Dream, Tommy’s first thought proceeding that was of Tubbo, unsure if that still applied to him. Dream moved to reply but Tommy kept going. “No– Fuck you! Shut the fuck up! Y-You’re scared of me. Aren’t you, Dream? That’s why you want me under your thumb so bad, ‘cause you _know_ I’m a threat to you. Fuck _you._ I– I can tear you down, Dream. I am not gonna obey you. Never again, you got that? And that scares the hell out of you, doesn’t it?” 

Dream laughed sharply, animosity rising too quickly for comfort, but before Dream could reply, Techno leveled his crossbow with Dream’s head. The time for talking was over. “Tommy, take Carl and run. I’ll find you after.” 

“Are you sure you want to do this, Techno?” Dream sounded so cool, so mocking. “I don’t have any conflict with you. Don’t make an enemy out of me.” 

“Yeah, uh, pretty sure I do,” Techno said drolly. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Tommy take Carl from the paddock, hesitating only for a moment before racing for the portal. 

“I’ll find you Tommy! Now or later, it doesn’t matter– I _will_ find you!” Dream shouted after him. 

“Doesn’t sound like something a _friend_ would say, Dream,” Techno remained cold. 

Dream scoffed, raising his own bow in Tommy’s direction. 

“You really want to do that now?” Techno scoffed. “Fine.” Techno turned his crossbow to the horizon, following after Tommy, taking Dream by surprise. 

“What the hell are you–” 

Techno saw Tommy enter the portal, just before he vanished, Techno loosed a bolt behind him. 

“Are you _crazy_ – you’re not even gonna hit him–” A distant explosion. The silence that followed was deafening, Techno keeping his eyes locked on Dream’s unmoving figure. “Oh. I see. Well, that’ll slow me down another minute, huh?” Dream pulled out his sword so casually. “Guess we’re really doing this.” 

“I guess so.” Techno didn’t want to do this. This went against everything he wanted from retirement, everything he had fought to become. He was just a person who didn’t want to do anymore harm. Still… he was okay with this. He was sacrificing that peace to protect what little he had left. He could never regret that. He made the first move, another volley of fireworks knocking Dream back a foot. Techno had beaten him once before. He knew it would take a lot more to keep a god down. 

Tommy heard the TNT light just as he made it through the portal, he and Carl racing down a path Techno had made for this very circumstance, it took a beat for him to realize he was running away. He was leaving Techno behind. Tommy doesn’t _run_ from a fight and he certainly doesn’t abandon people. 

But he’s so fucking scared. Maybe Dream _had_ gotten to him, because for all his efforts, he didn’t feel brave anymore. Too late to turn back now. 

Tommy looked down and saw Techno’s obsidian turn to cobblestone and green concrete pointing the other way. He hadn’t realized that Techno would take him to this particular path. They had never come this way before. Then again, secrecy had been the goal before. More surprising, Tommy felt his heart skip a beat at a gaping hole in his path just ahead. Like someone had blown it up. Carl made the jump, but it still explained things. He can see why it might’ve dissuaded visitors. 

It should have been obvious, it was all but planned, but Tommy was almost to the main portal when he realized where he was going. Not to civilization, not to the mainlands of the SMP, not even to L’Manberg, Tommy held onto the compass he had taken from his enderchest tightly until the metal grew warm in his hand, he’s running to Tubbo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK this should be the second to last chapter! We're approaching the grand finale soon.
> 
> Thank you guys for all your sweet comments. It's what gets me writing. I am bad at responding, but know I read and love all of them so much <3


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ow. Today's events really knocked me out, and there's no way I can live up to the heart-wrenching fight and forgiveness Tubbo and Tommy had today, so I had to get a happy-ish ending out. For catharsis.
> 
> Regardless of said catharsis, I wanted to write a gnarly duel, I wanted to write a final confrontation, and it came out pretty bloody. So. Warnings have been updated to include graphic depictions of violence.

Techno sees red in a very literal sense. There’s blood on the snow, there’s blood in his teeth, there’s blood running into his eyes. Not all of it is his.

Both of them are gasping for breath, frozen for a moment a few yards away, staring, waiting for the other to make the next move. Techno’s left arm had a deep gauge in it, his fingers felt numb, Techno had managed to choke down part of a gapple while Dream was recovering as well, that stopped the bleeding at least. He couldn’t see out of his right eye. He only hoped that it was the blood coming from the gash across his forehead, and that the wound didn’t go far enough to blind him. That would suck. 

Dream was in a similar state, he was limping, one leg having been crushed by Techno’s powerful hooves. Techno had gotten what he wanted, Dream now had two deep holes in his shoulder from his tusks. That was not enough to keep him down. His mask was still intact for the most part, but Techno could now see his grimace through a crack along his jaw. There was rage there, but no doubt. Dream still fully intended on winning this. 

“I… I won’t lose to you again, Techno. Not over some stupid kid.” 

“Why… Why do you want him so bad, then?” Techno panted. He laughed harshly, spitting more blood, when Dream had no ready retort. “Oh my god. You _are_ scared of him. You’re _actually_ scared of that little rat. Ha!” 

Dream, rather than reply, made another charge, but Techno was ready for him, not dodging the blow but rather leaning into it, digging into the snow and bracing himself, moving just enough to avoid the brunt of the blade, but slamming his shoulder into Dream’s chest, knocking him back. 

“I don’t want to fight you, Dream. You can give up any time you want to,” Techno meant it both literally and as a petty jab. Dream would not quit so easily. Techno moved to kick Dream in the chest while he was still down, but Dream was quicker than that, on his feet before Techno could even move. 

“I wish I could say the same for you, but I have a feeling you won’t stay down until I take a life,” Dream scoffed. 

_BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD–_

Technoblade swung his sword down at Dream’s head, Dream blocked it deftly, while his attention was elsewhere, Techno kicked out against his left knee, trying to go for his limp. Dream was prepared for that too, dancing away like the trickiest of prey from a hunter. He wasn’t prey, he was a snake. 

_BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD–_

“Come on, Technoblade. You can do better than that. I thought you were _The Blade_ ,” Dream was mocking him, moving lightly to keep out of range, trying to get Techno turned around. Techno kept up. 

“Nope. I’m not The Blade anymore,” Techno responded to the banter only with the intention of trying to distract him, the very same reason Dream was responding in turn. 

“Oh? Is that so? What do you go by now, huh? _Dave?_ ” Dream struck, swinging down against Techno’s back, having finally moved fast enough to get behind him. Techno snarled, moving away fast enough that the sword merely glanced off his armor, enough to bruise but nothing more. He responded immediately and without mercy, swinging his own sword around and underneath Dream’s raised arms, nailing him in the chest. They had exchanged equal wounds, neither of them would pierce the other’s armor so easily. Techno’s luck with goring Dream’s shoulder had taken careful consideration, just as Dream had been sure to get his arm just past where Techno’s armor reached. This fight would be slow, but the longer Techno kept Dream here the more time Tommy had to hide. 

“Nah, my friends don’t even call me Dave. You definitely don’t get to,” Techno made to look like he was charging him, slowing down at the last second and turning sharply when Dream did, managing to catch him off guard, Dream swinging forward where Techno would have been a moment later, Techno saw an opening, swinging his sword down to land another blow against Dream’s head. 

The mask fell, blood pouring from a wound over his ear. Dream seemed surprised. Like had forgotten losing his mask was an option. The surprise lasted long enough for Techno to kick him in the ribs, which was probably like getting kicked by a horse. Dream’s armor didn’t _dent_ exactly– netherite didn’t _dent_ – but it made a dull clanging sound as Dream was thrown back a ways, crumpled on the ground like a ragdoll. 

_BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD YES DO IT BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD LET’S GO GET HIM TECHNOBLADE BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD YES KILL HIM END IT BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD YOU DID IT KILL HIM KILL DREAM BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD–_

Dream got back up. 

Blood now gushing down the side of his face, one leg far more unsteady than the other and more blood still coming from the holes in his shoulder, and he _got back up._

Techno couldn’t remember the last time he had seen Dream’s face, but he would be lying if he said it didn’t unsettle him, eyes wide and manic and something so clearly not _human_ there. It was difficult to look him head on, some primal instinct that just screamed _wrong_ almost forced him to look away, the eldritch horror that made up his expression was _smiling,_ something far more vicious than the dull painted one he normally wore. There was a reason Dream always wore a mask, because no one would trust a man who looked like that, not with that look in his eyes, that _hunger._ Techno, the closest thing to an equal to Dream, the only one to beat him in combat, and even he was forced to reckon with a gaze that deemed him prey. Dream was always the real hunter, no matter the games he played. 

“Oh, this is bad,” Techno muttered, more to the voices than anything. “This is not gonna be good…” 

“You’re gonna have to try harder than that, Technoblade!” Dream laughed, smashing a bottle on the ground, the wound on the side of his head receding and his left leg grotesquely righting itself as the health potion did its work. 

Techno, before he could even retort with more trash talk– not that he thought that was a good idea at present– was immediately backing up, panic only rising as Dream held a lit stick of TNT between them. 

“You’re crazy! You’re actually crazy, you’ll kill us bo–” 

*** 

Tommy hadn’t been in civilization in so long, despite knowing Dream was thousands of blocks away, his terror only persisted as he reentered the mainlands of the SMP. He felt utterly alone and he wasn’t sure if the sight of someone else nearby would illicit more fear or comfort. He didn’t know who he could trust here. He knew it being Ranboo or Phil appearing around the corner would be far too much good luck for him. 

“It’s okay, Carl,” Tommy muttered, patting the horse who seemed to be able to read Tommy’s anxiety. “Techno will be here soon, yeah?” 

For all his certainty, he slowed down on his path towards L’Manberg. 

Tommy thought he saw someone out of the corner of his eye and picked up the pace. He had left his sword at the house– his _sword_. How could he have been so stupid as to actually cave and drop it when Dream asked? Now he was defenseless. 

Tommy slid off of Carl’s back as he saw the lanterns floating in the distance, his heart was pounding in his throat. The wall was gone. Tommy, keeping one hand locked onto Carl’s lead, walked forward slowly. He didn’t want to garner any more attention by charging in. Tommy looked down at his compass. His hands were still shaking, and that needle pointed straight ahead. 

It was like Tommy felt him before he saw him, the needle, which had been shifting ever so slightly as he walked forward, froze completely. So did he. He looked up, and Tubbo stared right back. 

*** 

Techno was thrown back by the explosion, his ears ringing and his vision spotted with white as his helmet collided with the stone at the base of his house. Techno fought for consciousness, refocusing on the sight of Dream towering over him. He looked utterly vindictive. 

Techno realized with horror he didn’t have his sword anymore. He couldn’t feel his left arm, his shoulder in agony that he found himself oddly unattached to, and Dream was getting closer. Techno scrambled for his own healing potion, the broken bottles were of little use to him, their contents too crushed or scattered to affect him properly. He found another gapple, bruised and broken but that didn’t matter– 

“Ah, I don’t think so,” Dream stepped on his hand, Techno gasped, his fingers crunching horribly as they were crushed. 

Techno moved to kick out at Dream’s bad leg, but Dream stepped back, Techno tried to take the chance to get to his feet but he was stopped with a scream by a bolt piercing his collarbone, pinning him to the wall. 

“I’m going to kill you, Technoblade. I’ll be the first to take a life from you, and then I’m going to go find Tommy. And when– _when_ , not if– I finally kill him, it’ll be the kindest thing I could’ve done for him. Because by that time, he _will_ want to die again.” Techno was not going to go down easily, he tore the crossbow bolt from his collarbone with bared teeth, struggling to sit up, now armed only with a bloody arrow. He was stopped by Dream pressing the end of his sword against his throat, forcing him to lean back. Techno froze, breathing hard, and he was struck by the dawning realization that he was about to lose a life. On the ground, all out of tricks, and he was going to die for _Tommy_ of all things. He didn’t have room in his head for regret alongside thousands of voices telling him to find a way to fight or already mourning on his behalf. 

Dream laughed softly, “I won’t let him walk off a cliff. I mean, it was fun pushing him to that point, sure, but come on,” Dream stepped forward, close enough to draw blood from Techno’s throat, his tone almost pitying if not far too dangerous. “ _I_ decide when he dies. _Me._ And I guess I get to–” Dream froze, both of them stopped, no longer caring for each other and instead distracted by the strange happenings in front of them. Techno wasn’t moving, Dream’s sword was, the sword moved almost gently away from Technoblade’s throat, as if pushed by a careful hand. “What the–” 

The second the sword was no longer on him, another blade pierced through Dream’s sword arm, almost severing it. Dream dropped his weapon and hit the ground soon after, and standing in his place– 

“Phil!” Techno was overcome by relief. “Took you long enough.” 

“You should let me know when you need me next time, mate,” Phil offered him a hand, Techno took it gratefully if not carefully, one hand with broken fingers, and the other arm a dislocated shoulder, he struggled to get to his feet. 

“Whoa, hold on there,” Phil pushed him back, just as another bolt shot between them where Phil had been standing a moment before. “Well, he can’t reload with one hand, so nothing else for us to worry about.” 

“ _How_ are you still alive?” Techno sighed exasperatedly to their fallen foe. 

“Why are you both defending him?! He refused to listen, there had to be consequences!” Dream spat, every word seemed to take more effort than the last, blood drenching the snow around him, his good arm tossing aside his crossbow, which he had aimed with great difficulty from his off hand. 

“He’s sixteen! He isn’t supposed to listen. He’s a _kid_ ,” Phil radiated anger. How long had he stood there? Waiting for the sword to no longer be on his eldest? Those words Dream had held over him, Phil had heard them too. He had heard the suffering given to and intended for his son. 

Dream looked to Technoblade, malice overtaking bloodloss. “Go on and finish it. Take a life from me, like it _matters._ ” 

Techno stared down at his fallen enemy, no rage came to him, those demands, _blood for the blood god,_ felt so distant, inconsequential. “I’m not gonna kill you, Dream. I didn’t choose this fight, and I’m definitely not finishing it on your terms.” 

Dream continued to goad him. “Mercy– _mercy_ from the Blood God… pathetic…” 

Technoblade turned away, going to retrieve his sword. 

**Dream was slain by Ph1LzA**

*** 

Tubbo was white as a sheet, almost right in front of him, looking as if he’d seen a ghost. Part of Tommy told him to run, but how could he? 

“H-How?” Tubbo’s hoarse words rang out in the silence between them. 

Tommy grew more nervous, stepping back. “...How? What’d you mean, how?” Tubbo just stared. The silence pressed on painfully. “L-Look, I know I’m not supposed to be here. I know you must hate me now, but–” 

Tommy was taken aback by Tubbo throwing himself onto him, holding onto him tightly, like he was trying to ground him to the earth, hugging him like he couldn’t survive any other way. 

“Tubbo?” 

Tubbo was shaking, silent tears that only come through shock, the absence of grief uncontainable. “I thought you were _dead._ ” 

Then it hit him, the toll of all of this pain and loneliness building up to the worst part, Tommy was struck by how cruel it had been to lose his best friend. He hugged back, holding onto him so tightly, fighting back rising sobs in return, because he didn’t know how he’d lasted this long without him. He almost hadn’t. 

Tubbo still didn’t let go. “I’m sorry, Tommy. I’m so sorry– I dunno if you can forgive me, but I swear, I regretted it. I swear– I am so sorry–” 

Some part of Tommy thought he should be mad, he should be furious that the person who had sent him away had the audacity to _hug_ him, to apologize, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. The only target worthy of his anger was far away now. Instead, he would just hold onto his best friend. 

Urgency took over and Tommy stepped back. “We– We need to–” He didn’t know _what_ he was meant to do now. 

“Tommy, what’s happened? Where have you _been_ – Your camp was destroyed and I thought–” Tubbo still held onto his arm so tightly, he looked down for a moment, taking a deep, trembling breath as he tried to ground himself. ”I saw the tower… I saw it and I thought you… I thought you’d jumped. I thought you k-killed yourself– oh _god_ – Tommy, I am so sorry.” 

“You… you went looking for me?” Tommy was frozen, he knew Techno was fighting for this precious time so he could go _hide_ but he needed to talk to Tubbo, he needed answers. 

“What? Yeah– Yeah I tried to visit but you were never there and then there was the last time I went and…” Tubbo shuddered. “Where have you been?” Tubbo kept looking him over, like he was trying to find answers, or just to make sure that he was real. 

“I… I ran. I got away from Dream,” Tommy began, holding onto Carl’s lead more tightly, looking behind him towards the portal. “I-I– have to hide… he could come after me any second.” He knew that he would probably have some warning when Techno died. He didn’t want to consider that a possibility. 

“Wait, what do you mean you _ran_ from Dream? You stayed gone, why would he be after you?” Tubbo was struggling to keep up, still lost in the euphoria of knowing Tommy was still there. 

“He–” Tommy sighed. “He said he was my friend. But… friends don’t hurt friends,” he looked to Tubbo carefully. “He wanted to watch me, control me. So… I ran. I didn’t jump, Tubbo. Well, I did, but I hit the water, ‘cause– Well, the point is, I ran and he came after me.” 

“What the hell?” Tubbo seemed utterly lost. “Dream said… he said he’d tried to help you but you were hostile, that you didn’t want to see anyone.” 

“What? No. No– I was waiting for anyone to come see me, I tried to get you all out there for a beach party and no one showed. Dream said–” 

“I never heard about that. Dream made it sound like you wanted to be left alone. Dream has been… he’s been supportive.” Tubbo didn’t sound so sure anymore. 

“He’s been playing us both,” Tommy muttered gloomily. “Can we go somewhere? Not on the prime path? He could be after me, or he could send some of his goons out to get me any minute–” 

“Yeah, yeah of course. Let’s go to Phil’s–” 

“Is he there?” Tommy asked eagerly. 

“I… I don’t know. Has _Phil_ been out to see you?” Tubbo looked at him more curiously. 

“If he’s not there there’s no point, that’s not safe, I need somewhere to _hide_ , Tubbo,” Tommy persisted more intently. “And yeah, he has. He comes to see Techno a lot–” 

Tubbo stopped as they approached the L’Manberg. “Technoblade?” 

“Yeah. Yeah it was _Technoblade_ who’s been protecting me. I’m as surprised as you are–” Tommy stopped, seeing Tubbo did not match his enthusiasm and instead pulled away, looking hurt. “He’s changed, Tubbo. He doesn’t want to hurt anyone.” 

“Doesn’t want to _hurt_ anyone?!” Tubbo laughed a little hysterically, a hand going to the vibrant scar creeping up his neck and onto his face. “You’re… you’re _trusting_ him? He’s the one who summon the Withers–” Tubbo gestured behind him to L’Manberg. He was breathing heavily now, panic taking over. “He _killed_ me. He tried to kill you too!” 

“You think I don’t know that?” Tommy felt his anger, so carefully covered by how much he missed Tubbo, finally creep to the surface. “I went to him because I had nowhere else to go! Who’s fuckin’ fault is that?!” 

“Tommy…” Tubbo flinched, stepping back, he was shaken up in a way Tommy found terribly familiar. 

Before he could continue, Tommy felt every bit of resentment he had bottled towards his friend come out. As hard as he tried to make it anger, he knew it wasn’t. _Why_ couldn’t it just be anger? “You fucking kicked me out! You’re– You’re why I’m like this! You left me alone with _Dream._ You don’t know– You don’t know what it’s been like– You have no fucking idea what he’s done. You’re like _Schlatt_ , Tubbo. You _are!_ Y-You’re why this happened! What the fuck am I even doing here–” 

Tubbo fought to contain his anxiety, trying to put on a brave face in a way Tommy also found far too familiar. “I don’t expect your forgiveness, Tommy. And I’m not gonna assume what you’ve been through. I guess I just didn’t expect you to go to _him._ ” 

“Yeah, well, he’s been there for me more than you have. So maybe you should figure out what that says about you, _pal_ ,” Tommy spat. His chest felt tight. He didn’t want this pain or this anger anymore. He didn’t want any of it. 

“W-What was I supposed to do?!” Tubbo, voice high and cracked and desperate, shouted back. Tubbo, for all his clean suits and benefits of civilization, seemed to be hanging by a thread as much as Tommy was. Tubbo expected Tommy’s anger, he didn’t disagree, but it hurt so badly to know that he had hurt his best friend, and perhaps even worse, Tubbo’s regret came second to the fact that it was the best choice to make in an impossible situation. It isn’t fair. Tubbo didn’t ask for any of this. “Do you really think we could’ve survived that? _Really?_ You would’ve died that way, Tommy! Don’t tell me you don’t believe that. You would’ve died and everyone I was responsible for would’ve been hurt. At least this way you’re still alive. I don’t care if you spend the rest of your life hating me, at least you’re still here.” 

“I don’t _hate_ you, Tubbo,” Tommy tried to force himself to calm, but this kind of rage was not easy to assuage, exhausted fury at the injustice of it all. “That’s part of the fucking problem.” 

“But you’re still siding with him. You’re _really_ with Technoblade now.” 

“Over _Dream?_ Yeah. Yeah, I sure as hell am.” 

Tubbo seemed frozen for a moment, scared to push onwards but knowing that it was the only way to go. “W-What… What happened, Tommy? What did Dream _do?_ ” 

A dozen accusations and lamentations and terrible memories got caught in his throat like bile. How could Tommy answer a question like that? “Why’d you think I was gonna jump, Tubbo?” 

**Dream was slain by Ph1LzA**

All of their arguments died, this taking their sole focus with a strange mixture of worry and hope. Tubbo stared at him with wide eyes. Tommy expected him to say, _what did you do?_ He expected blame and disappointment and something cold, that Tubbo would take this as another excuse to try and separate him from Technoblade. Tubbo only looked frightened. “What the hell is happening?” 

*** 

Techno turned around sharply, staring as Phil put away his sword, something between calm and fury in his eyes as he left Dream behind him. 

“He’ll be back,” Techno pointed out. 

“I know,” Phil said grimly. 

“Hi, Technoblade!” 

“ _Ghostbur?_ Where have you been?” Techno turned in surprise to the recently materialized grey figure. 

“Well, I walked out of the wilderness, which is where I’ve been for a very long time now, and I saw you and Dream fighting and thought, that’s very bad, so I ran back to L’Manberg to get Phil. And when we got here Dream was gonna stab you, so Phil told me to turn invisible and get the sword away from you so that’s what I did–” 

“That’s great, Ghostbur, you were a big help, but why have you been out in the wilderness all this time?” 

“Oh! Because Dream told me to.” 

“Of course he did,” Techno sighed. He turned to Phil. “You got any health pots? I’m kind of…” 

“Rough?” Phil forced a laugh. “I think your shoulder’s dislocated, mate.” 

“I’ve got potions, Techno!” Ghostbur appeared by his side. “This’ll make you feel better.” 

Techno stared down at the health potion, wincing. This was not going to be pleasant. He bit back a gasp of pain as his bones cracked back into place and open wounds sewed themselves shut. Healing potions could only do so much, he had a feeling the bolt into his shoulder would scar. Phil kept a hand on Techno’s arm, in case he stumbled. 

“Where do you suppose the god of the server set his spawn?” Techno, far better off for a fight now, refocused. Every second spent out here was a second wasted. Tommy needed them. 

“Probably a lot closer to Tommy than we are right now,” Phil grimaced, staring at what remained of their fallen enemy. “I shouldn’t have done that so soon.” 

“Well, all his stuff is here,” Techno said. “Maybe…” 

Phil laughed bitterly, “maybe Dream will stay undefended for a minute or two?” 

“Yeah. Probably not.” 

“Let’s get going, then. Where did you send Tommy, anyway?” Phil set off at a quick pace towards the portal, Techno fumbling for his flint to relight it. 

“I just sent him towards L’Manberg,” Techno glanced at Phil, “actually, I meant to send him towards _you,_ at least the general direction. Didn’t think you’d be here instead. 

“Tubbo will offer him shelter.” 

“Are you sure about that?” Techno frowned, lighting the portal, Ghostbur drifting through behind them. 

“What?” Phil seemed puzzled. “It’s _Tubbo._ I assumed that was who you were sending him to.” 

“The guy who banished him?” Techno stared down the path he had made, half worried he’d see Dream or Tommy waiting for them. They set off almost at a run. Killing Dream should have at least given them a headstart, but Techno was almost expecting to be alerted to Tommy’s death any second now. 

“Well, I think that was a good idea, Technoblade,” Ghostbur rushed easily ahead, not weighed down by armor or even a living body. “They need to talk. Tubbo misses him and Tommy misses him so, this way they can figure things out!” 

“Don’t know why Tubbo didn’t try and help his friend, then. Aren’t governments supposed to have _power?_ ” Technoblade sneered. He didn’t understand what the difference was between the manipulator Phil had just slain and the one who had ordered Tommy’s exile. 

“He’s a _kid_ , Techno,” Phil grew scolding, the main portal now in sight. 

“They’re not _kids_ anymore, Phil,” Techno scoffed, finding himself staring ahead at his dead brother, who was waiting by the portal. “They haven’t been since Wilbur sent them out there to die for him.” Techno resisted the urge to add, _or maybe they were destined to stop being kids the moment you left them with Wilbur to go live out your glory days._ He would keep that anger close to his chest. He could feel bitter when god was dead, even as that seemed more and more likely to kill him first. 

“I don’t care,” it was like Phil somehow understood the words left unsaid between them. “They deserve to be kids. We’ve all let them down by letting the world stay like this.” 

*** 

Tubbo got moving first. “C-Come on. Come on, we’ve got to hide you–” Tubbo grabbed his hand, pulling him towards the main platforms of L’Manberg. “Under the podium, there’s a bunker– Or should we run instead?” Tubbo froze, seeming lost in his panic. 

“Run where?” Tommy said bitterly. “Our cottage out in the woods? Yeah. That got burned day one.” 

“Oh. I… I didn’t realize…” 

“There’s a lot you don’t realize, huh?” Tommy scoffed, realizing Tubbo was still holding onto his hand. He pulled away. Tommy wanted to give in, to hold onto Tubbo and never let go, he wanted to sit with his best friend on their bench and tease him and find trouble together. He wanted to be brave again. 

Tubbo regretted what he had done. He hadn’t known peace since the day he had sent Tommy away, but he was so _tired._ “I am doing the best I can right now. I am going to help you, Tommy. You can tear into me later.” Tubbo sounded so much older, worn down and weighted by responsibilities he had never asked for. It was too heavy a burden for any one person to bear and Tubbo had been cracking for a long while now. Tommy hesitated. 

“I need somewhere safe to put Carl,” Tommy kept a hand on Carl’s neck, trying to keep him calm, even as it was clear the horse was uneasy being away from Technoblade. Tommy would survive this, and he would deal with Tubbo after. 

“The horse? Yeah, we could send him down towards the sewers. Underground, out of sight, but we should hurry,” Tubbo seemed a little turned around. 

“I… I think I should go into the sewers, actually. I’d prefer that over a _bunker._ ” Tommy shook his head. “That’s like getting fuckin’ buried alive… I don’t want him to find me trapped in a box. I want to be able to run.” 

Tubbo faltered, sadness and worry intermingled with guilt as he knew he had his part to play in Tommy turning into someone who would choose to run. Tommy didn’t _run,_ but then again, Tubbo wasn’t meant to lead. None of this was right. “Yeah… Yeah, okay I can get you down there. I’ll… I’ll come back up, try and throw him off and keep him away as long as I can–” 

“Until Techno can get here,” Tommy nodded. “Wait, no– Tubbo, _no_ ,” Tommy stopped, forcing Tubbo to pause. “You’re not actually planning on coming back up here to face off with Dream all by yourself?” 

“I’m not planning on _fighting_ him– Are you crazy? I was gonna… I was gonna lie, try and lead him away or something.” He did not need the details of what had happened to Tommy, he didn’t expect proof or understanding or forgiveness, Tommy said Dream had hurt him, so Tubbo would do whatever he could to make sure Dream never did so again. This was not a function of guilt or hope for redemption, it was just Tommy, and Tubbo doing what it took to help him, like it had always been before. He smiled bitterly. “I was a pretty good spy, remember?” 

“And look how that turned out,” Tommy snapped. A cruel moment of silence followed this, both of them thinking of the same thing, not of Technoblade, not even Schlatt, but fireworks. Just fireworks. Some part of Tommy thought that he should just hide out and let Tubbo work, a mixture of bitterness telling him it was about time Tubbo risked his own neck and a desperate, foolish hope telling him his friend Dream could be reasoned with. 

Tommy sighed, continuing more carefully. “He’s not what you think he is, Tubbo. I know– You think he means well, you think he’s rational and that you’ve just got to listen and follow along and things’ll be okay, but he’s not _good_ , Tubbo. He’s not merciful, either and he will kill you,” Tommy was torn between caution and worry. 

Tubbo seemed especially pale, but he pressed on with grim determination. “This is all I can do. I can’t fight someone like Dream, I don’t have any actual authority, but I can talk to him. I know you’re angry and I know you have no reason to, but I’m asking you to trust me. I can at least get him to stop while you take the horse and run. Maybe try and make it to the holy lands.” 

“Tubbo, he doesn’t _care_ about the holy lands– He _made_ the holy lands, they aren’t gonna stop him–” 

“Then just run!” Tubbo shouted at him and it wasn’t a request anymore. It was like before, when he had begged Tommy to just listen to him so Tubbo could talk Dream down. Always belittled as a ‘yes-man’ and he refused to waver on this. Tubbo needed him to get out of there while he still could. “Trust me, just _run_ , and let me do what I can.” 

Tommy felt frozen, because despite all the cruelty between the two of them, their recent past marred by hurt and wounds left open, Tommy trusted him. Trusted him so implicitly he had no notion that Tubbo fully expected he wouldn’t make it out of this. Their time apart had held more similarities than differences, and Tubbo was still convinced he had to atone. He would do everything he could to slow Dream down, and then he would die knowing he tried. 

Tommy pulled Tubbo into a hug, holding onto him like in doing so he could somehow protect him, so much certainty and _grounding_ in that it was like nothing had changed between them at all. “I don’t hate you,” he muttered. “I should’ve trusted you before, so I’m going to trust you now.” 

Tubbo laughed tearfully. He had his best friend back. And yet again, because of Dream, he would be forced to let him go to protect him. “We’re on the clock here, big man. You’ve got to go.” Tubbo took him to the biggest entrance to the sewers he knew of, Carl reluctantly being guided underground. 

“Wait,” Tubbo stopped him. “I… I don’t like weapons. You were always the fighter, so… you should take this. Just in case.” Tubbo offered him a diamond axe. 

“Why’d you have this?” Tommy took it with some surprise. Tubbo could fight to defend himself when needed, he was far from helpless, but Dream was another monster entirely. Tommy still hesitated. “What about you–” 

Tubbo seemed equally unsure for a moment, “the ‘why’ doesn’t matter. It was… I don’t need it anymore. Things have… well, things have changed, I guess.” A beat, Tubbo unsure of how he wanted to say goodbye. “Tommy, we both know if Dream comes at me, an axe isn’t gonna save me,” Tubbo smiled, too much contentment and loss intermingled in the way he looked at his best friend. 

“Don’t talk like that,” Tommy snapped. “Just– Just come down here with me. We’ll hide out. Technoblade– he’s got to be on his way by now.” 

“Will you just not argue with me for once?” Tubbo said but there was no bitterness in his words, only fondness. “We can’t fight him and the two of us running does nothing to protect us. I’ll talk to him, keep him occupied, I can do that–” 

“Yeah, but you don’t _have_ to–” 

“Of course I don’t have to, Tommy,” Tubbo put a hand on his shoulder, holding on tightly. Tommy felt frozen, that set conviction in Tubbo’s eyes almost reminiscent of when he sent him away. But this time there was no regret. “I don’t _have_ to, but I _am_ going to. That’s my choice. I am _choosing_ to do this so please don’t try and stop me.” 

Tommy couldn’t think of anything to say to that, what _could_ he say to that? Before he could even make an attempt, a voice rang over the hills and into L’Manberg, taunting and terrifying. 

“ _Oh, Tommy!_ ” 

Tubbo pushed him back into the sewers sharply, confident and unrelenting in a way so different to how he was before, leaving before Tommy could protest any further. Tommy would like to say he followed Tubbo, determined and ready to fight. To think that he could be brave again, that he would go down swinging, the first defense between his best friend and that monster. The truth of it was, he was just so fucking scared. 

It was easier to believe that this plan would work, that Technoblade would arrive soon, than to believe that he could face Dream again unaided. Tommy did not run yet, instead he backed further into the sewers, pressing himself against the wall and barely daring to breathe, his knuckles turning white as he held on tightly to the axe. 

Above ground, Tubbo carefully returned to the main quarter of L’Manberg. 

It was a nice thought, the idea that Dream would be unarmed and wounded. Scars could carry over after a death, wounds too to an extent, Tubbo knew from experience, but Dream was barely marked, at least not visibly as he was in a full set of netherite armor, sword at his side. Tubbo found it curious that Dream apparently had several copies of the same mask, as that was replaced too. Tubbo knew he shouldn’t be surprised that Dream was prepared for a fight– or massacre. It did nothing to stop the heavy weight of anxiety in the pit of his stomach. _He’s got no reason to be suspicious. Just act like normal. Act like you don’t know._

“What’re you doing here, Dream?” Tubbo hoped he sound appropriately worried, as Dream had come marching in here shouting for Tommy. “What’re you talking about?” 

Dream was standing close enough now that Tubbo saw that the smile painted on the mask was chipped and worn, imperfection on the very thing that shielded Dream from being witnessed in fault. That almost made Tubbo feel braver, instead it aided the clear notion that Dream was unhinged. For a moment Tubbo truly thought Dream was going to strike him, he flinched, and either Dream had never intended to in the first place or reconsidered, because instead he walked right past Tubbo and into L’Manberg. 

“Has something happened?” Tubbo tried again. 

“Tubbo, shut up.” Dream still didn’t look at him, staring ahead like he could see through stone and wood and right to Tommy. 

Tubbo balled his hands into fists to stop them from shaking. He hadn’t intended on opposing Dream today, or ever, preferably. Appeasing Dream was why all these sacrifices had been made. Why he had sacrificed Tommy. For the very people who were not by his side now, having moved on to bigger and better things and instead left him with this empty husk on stilts. He was never letting go of Tommy again. For as long as Tommy would have him. 

“You’ve forgotten the rules, Dream.” 

“What?” Dream turned back to face him if only out of irritated surprise at Tubbo’s daring. 

“You’re wearing armor. You’re in L’Manberg now. You’ve always respected the rules before,” Tubbo kept his tone calm, undemanding, passive even. Still, there was courage in Tubbo voicing this fact aloud at all. 

Dream got in his face again, towering over him. He even smelled not right, not human. Almost like the sulfur that came from the Nether, but something further from the Over World, something darker. Tubbo wondered if that was what the End smelled like. He wondered if he had seemed different too after losing a life, or if this was just Dream. 

“Funny coming from you, Tubbo. Talking to me about _rules_ ,” Dream laughed softly, mockingly. “I know what you and your cabinet have been planning. Everything you do I know about so don’t _preach_ to me. _Butcher._ ” 

Tubbo was not going to retort to that, he wasn’t going to invite Dream to retaliate. That wasn’t smart. And yet he had to say, with perhaps too much sarcasm than would be deemed safe considering, “I would think you’d be supportive of us trying to find Technoblade, especially now.” Tubbo had no idea where this bravery was coming from, he was all but mocking Dream’s defeat which had been broadcast to all those on the server at present. 

Dream actually laughed, but there was no camaraderie in it. It was like he found Tubbo amusing by virtue of the fact that Dream could crush the life out of him if he so chose. Like Tubbo was just a bug, but one that was still fun to watch, trapped in a cup, desperately scratching at the sides, unable to fully comprehend he was caged. 

“I never mentioned Technoblade. _Philza_ was the one who took my life.” 

Tubbo felt his blood run cold. 

_Oh shit._ “Uh. Um– Well, I suppose I just assumed, because Philza left to go see Technoblade, that–” 

Dreams stepped forward. Tubbo stumbled back. 

“–that’s where you were, right?” Tubbo couldn’t get away fast enough. “I mean, I haven’t asked Phil about it yet, but when we were gonna find Technoblade that was the plan–” 

Tubbo was cut off with a stifled yelp, Dream pulling him off the ground by his tie, leaving him struggling to draw breath, kicking at the air. 

“Where is he, Tubbo?” Dream was a deadly calm. Tubbo had now seen Dream in a fury, haunted by the weighted danger that came with the words _don’t try and threaten me_ , but somehow Dream’s utter control was far more terrifying. No more rage, not even that unhinged taunt when he had shouted for Tommy, just calm. “If you tell me right now, I’ll let you live. Maybe I’ll even spare Tommy and let you two have neighboring cells.” 

It wasn’t like Tubbo could answer, even if he were going to, he couldn’t _breathe_ , desperately struggling to pull the tie away from his throat, to get Dream to let go, _any_ way to get air– 

Dream dropped him, Tubbo collapsing against the wooden planks that made up this remaining platform of undeveloped ground in L’Manberg. Tubbo pulled his tie away from his throat, still breathless and shaking. He could see the sign from here, and there surely was some cruel irony reading the words _3 days since our last war crime_ as he tried to catch his breath. 

“Take a deep breath, Tubbo. I need you talking soon, or else this’ll get a whole lot more unpleasant for you,” Dream crouched down, tilting his head. It almost sounded like he pitied him. 

“W-What’re– What’re you _talking_ about–” Tubbo gasped. He hadn’t lasted as a spy by caving at the first ounce of pressure, and as per usual, people assumed that because Tubbo was often kind and careful that he was also weak, that he couldn’t take a hit. Tubbo would continue to prove them wrong. 

That didn’t mean this wouldn’t hurt. 

Dream stood, kicking Tubbo in the stomach, causing him to curl in on himself, gritting his teeth to hold back a whimper. 

Tubbo would play dumb as long as he could manage. “J-Just tell me what you want–” 

He was cut off by a sharp pain, his vision flashing white as he was knocked back by another kick to the face, spitting blood onto the wood. He was just glad he hadn’t lost a tooth, or worse, a broken jaw. 

“Y’know, I really thought you were smarter than this. Or are you really as stupid as all your little friends think you are?” Dream grabbed onto the scruff of his shirt, dragging him up so he was standing, getting in his face. “What’d they call it when you were being an idiot? A _Tubbo moment?_ ” He sneered, pressing the flat of his sword against Tubbo’s throat. 

Tubbo refused to yield, pulling away from the blade. “Why are you here? Why’re you here looking for _Tommy?_ You’re the reason he’s not here,” he spat. 

“Hmm,” Dream let go, shoving him back to the ground, turning to pace the length of the platform. Dream went from mocking to this courteous, measured tone, like he had anything but bad intentions. “I gave you a chance, Tubbo. Tommy could’ve lived if you’d done the smart thing. Now the question remains– Do _you_ want to live? Or do you want to die alongside Tommy? Because trust me, I won’t make it easy on either of you.” Dream spun around to face him, light and playful. “I know! Final offer. You give him up now, I’ll let you live, _and_ I’ll make sure his death is quick. That’s more than a fair deal, and a lot better than he deserves.” 

“W-Where’s Tommy? What do you want with him?” Tubbo remained resolute, slowly getting to his feet. Still, he glanced towards the prime path. If he were to run, now would be his chance. He wouldn’t. The more time Dream spent harassing him, the further away Tommy would get. 

Dream chuckled. “Y’know, you’re a pretty good liar, Tubbo, but we both know from last time, not good enough.” 

Tubbo was here because Tommy needed all the help he could get. He would not go back on that account, but he also really didn’t want to die. Every word he spoke was both a desperate bid for Dream to believe him and another attempt to bury his urge to flee. “Can you just tell me what you’re looking for instead of acting all cryptic?! I haven’t seen Tommy. You’ve lost it, man.” 

“Hm,” Dream huffed. “It was endearing the first time, but you’re running out of chances.” Dream grabbed onto Tubbo’s shoulders, kneeing him in the gut before letting him hit the floor with a gasp again. The message was clear, _stay down._ Tubbo did not think of his own suffering now, only this awful dread at the thought that this violence was what Tommy had been abandoned to for weeks, and that was his fault. “Where is he?” Dream looked past him towards the prime path, as if waiting for something. “We’re on the clock here. So I’d hurry up if I were you.” 

_Just hold out a little while longer. Technoblade is coming._ Tubbo couldn’t hold back a hysterical laugh, grimacing and spitting more blood, as there was something far too ironic about him desperately hoping _Technoblade_ of all people was coming to help him. 

“What’s so funny, Tubbo?” 

“You really think I know where Tommy is,” Tubbo said. “You’re wasting your time. And I think you’re in as much trouble as I am right about now.” 

Dream still didn’t look at him, staring back towards the prime path, definitely thinking the same thing. Still, he silently got out his crossbow. It was plain, unenchanted, but Tubbo was without armor or weapons. 

“W-What’s this gonna do, Dream? You kill me, you know nothing. A-And L’Manberg will be against you. We’re supposed to be allies.” 

“I’m not going to kill you, Tubbo. Not yet, at least,” he loaded a bolt. He chuckled, “ _allies._ Who’ll come after me, Tubbo? Hm? _Ranboo?_ As if that kid has a spine. Fundy? He left you. Quackity? He’s got bigger problems than his neighbors. The only person who might’ve cared about you… well, I don’t know how true that is anymore. Not like it matters. I’m gonna kill him too.” 

“Right. Or Philza and Technoblade will get here first and kill you. Sorry– Kill you _again._ ” 

Dream didn’t reply at first, fiddling with his crossbow, far too at ease. “Y’know, Tubbo. You should’ve run while you had the chance.” Any retort left Tubbo’s mind as a bolt cut through his leg. “Because you’re not gonna get one again.” 

*** 

Phil and Techno crossed back into the overworld, taking off at a run towards L’Manberg. Ghostbur called ahead from just over the ridge. “Oh, Dream’s here, guys! But I don’t see Tommy. Oh… no… this is bad…” 

“What do you mean you don’t see _Tommy?_ ” Techno ran to his side, sword already drawn and Phil right behind him. “What’s he doing then–” 

Techno saw Dream standing over Tubbo, crossbow raised. Techno scanned the area, but no one else was there. Tommy had done the smart thing and ran. Techno hadn’t expected him to do that. Tubbo screamed, blood now pooling around him. 

“Why– Why’d you stop?! Come on,” Phil grabbed onto Techno’s arm, pulling him forward, assuming Techno only hesitated at the sight of Tubbo getting shot. Phil didn’t have a bow on him, otherwise he would already be aiming at Dream’s head. 

Technoblade felt his sense of urgency leave him. “It’s only Tubbo. Come on, Phil, we should get out of here and find Tommy before he spots us–” 

Phil held onto him, horror and disappointment overshadowed by that rare anger. “Don’t you fucking dare. I don’t _care_ what you think of him. Sort yourself out later and _come on._ ” 

Technoblade wasn’t really planning on protesting at that point, but they both ran a little faster when they heard Tommy shouting Tubbo’s name like he had been shot instead, freezing only for a moment, then Tommy ran at Dream with an axe. 

*** 

Tommy hadn’t even tried to flee L’Manberg. He had stashed Carl further down the tunnels before rushing back towards the entrance. There he froze, waiting, listening. He knew he should run. Tubbo and Technoblade had both _told_ him to run, but he was torn between his old self and the one which had crawled from the ashes of Logstedshire. He wasn’t running away, he wasn’t fighting, he was just stuck in the middle. 

That is, until he heard Tubbo screaming. Then all bets were off. 

“ _Tubbo!_ ” Tommy was still terrified, but no longer of what was waiting for him, no longer for his own life, only utter dread that Tubbo would fall silent. All he could think of was Tubbo, boxed in, confused and afraid, Technoblade firing, and Tommy running to his side then too. This time Tubbo would not come back. “Tubbo!” Tommy froze, Dream standing between him and Tubbo, curled on the ground and trembling, clutching his bleeding leg. 

Dream turned to face him, utterly composed. “Thought that might draw you out, Tommy. Glad you decided to show. Makes my job easier.” 

Tommy was not afraid. He was furious. Dream had hit him before, if he didn’t give up his things fast enough, and he’d pushed him around plenty, shot him, threatened him, but Tommy seeing Tubbo like that made him fucking lose it, any illusions that he still harbored towards Dream were gone, and he’s running at him screaming with an axe. 

Dream raised his own sword, but he was taken by surprise, enough that Tommy managed to batter him back with the axe. He had aimed for the chink in his armor between the chestplate and those on his shoulders, he missed, so the axe merely glanced off, but it was a _blow against Dream._ Finally, Tommy felt unstoppable again. 

Dream swung back to meet him, no longer off balance and Tommy barely raised his axe in time to stop the sword from coming down on his head. Then it was a battle of strength, one Tommy knew he could never win. 

Dream staggered away, an arrow banging off the side of his helmet. Tommy turned to see his family running to his aid, even Ghostbur joined the lineup. 

“Yeah! Technoblade!” Tommy whooped, fists in the air. “And Phil– Holy shit you actually killed him! You did it!" 

"Where's my horse, Tommy?" Techno shouted ahead. 

Tommy laughed. "He's safe! He's–" Tommy was cut off by Dream choking him, pulling him close into a headlock with his sword pressed to his throat. 

“None of you move!” Dream shouted. 

An eerie silence fell, the only sounds Tubbo trying to quiet his sobs as his leg continued to bleed and Tommy struggling futilely against Dream’s hold on him. 

“What’re you gonna do, Dream?’ Phil stopped, pacing at the edge of the platform. “Hm? You kill him, we kill you. And we won’t stop killing you until you stay down.” 

“Strong words coming from a man running around with one life,” Dream snarled. “I’ll kill you, I’ll kill these two, and then what– Who’ll run out of lives first, Technoblade, or _me?_ I am _god_. All of you should’ve just listened to me! All you had to do was _listen._ ” He pressed the blade closer, enough to draw a thin trickle of blood from Tommy’s throat. 

“Phil– Get out of here!” Tommy shouted, silenced as Dream covered his mouth with his free hand. 

“You never learned to shut up, did you Tommy? And now, you never will–” 

Tubbo was not going to lose his best friend, not without a fight. Not again. He fought to get to his feet, lunging forward at the last second and wrestling Dream’s sword arm away from Tommy’s throat. His hand was bleeding as he pressed against the blade, Tommy desperately trying to help him by keeping ahold of Dream’s other arm. Dream still had the upper hand, kicking against Tubbo’s wounded leg so he hit the ground again with a cry before moving to turn his sword back on Tommy. 

Only to be met by Technoblade’s instead. 

Dream’s efforts to force Technoblade’s sword back were distracted by Phil bringing his own blade against his other side. All three of them were terrifying in a fight, each moving rapidly before dancing away the next step, Phil’s movements light and careful, Dream’s sharp and calculated, Techno’s weighted and measured. Techno found himself covering Phil’s side, as Dream had said, Phil had no lives to spare. Despite their prowess, it took both of them to keep Dream at bay and protect each other at the same time. 

Tommy, on the other hand, had dropped away from the fight, a hand going to his throat and the shallow cut there. Tubbo was breathing heavily, the bolt having been pushed further through his leg when Dream had kicked him away. 

Tommy grabbed his axe, keeping his head low as he scrambled away. “Come on, big man. Let me help you,” Tommy was at his side in an instant, picking Tubbo up underneath his arms and dragging him further from the fight, once he was leaning against the steps up to Phil’s house, Tommy paused, a trail of blood behind them. He knelt down, taking Tubbo’s tie from him without asking before using it as a makeshift tourniquet just above the wound. “I… uh. I know what we could use to tighten it.” 

“Y-You wouldn’t.” 

Tommy grimaced apologetically, “well, it’s not keeping the blood in very well as is.” Before Tubbo could protest, he ripped the bolt all the way through his leg, Tubbo’s scream mere background noise to the violent fury of swords hitting metal behind them. 

“This’ll do the job just fine, right?” Tommy tried to force some lightness into his tone. 

Tubbo could only nod in response, biting back a whimper as Tommy tightened it. “Y-You’re good at this.” 

Tommy didn’t respond immediately. “Well, I sort of had to be. Trust me, it’s a lot harder to do this on your own.” 

“Oh.” 

Techno and Phil were winning. 

Technoblade and Dream were evenly matched, and with Phil at his side Dream was too busy keeping them away from him to land a blow. Dream would back off sharply before coming back in to try and separate them, he was just moving too fast for them to pin him down. It was clear he was out for Phil’s blood, whether out of revenge for his lost life or because he knew Phil wouldn’t be able to come back, Techno was entirely focused on keeping Dream away from him. Dream was moving back and forth along the edge of the platform and Techno almost thought they had cornered him, until he yet again made a vicious attack against Phil, aiming for his neck. Techno slammed into him, forcing Dream to stagger back against the railing, and Techno thought he was about to get Dream on the ground, that is, until he suddenly realized he was leaning over the edge and Dream shoved him off the platform, as he had clearly intended, because when Techno hit the water, he couldn’t come back up, instead met by boiling hot water turning to cobblestone. It was dark and the water burned his skin, the brightness of the lava before it went dark left him blinded, as he desperately looked for a way out, pounding his fists against the hot stone, trying to find the edge. He could hold his breath a long time, but not forever. 

Techno must truly be in a panic, because it wasn’t until the voices were screaming it at him, _TRIDENT TRIDENT TRIDENT TRIDENT_ that he realized he had a far faster way out. 

Tommy and Tubbo heard a splash behind them, Tommy whirled around, Phil was alone, fighting to push Dream’s sword away from his chest with his own blade. 

Tommy let out a furious shout, once more running at Dream, axe raised, at the last second, Dream backed off, leading to Tommy crashing into Phil before dropping over the railing himself. It was not water beneath him– it was cobblestone, Tommy cried out as he hit the ground hard, tearing the skin on the palms of his hands and bruising his knees underneath his armor. At least he didn’t land on his head. 

It seemed this had been deliberate on Dream’s part, as he had poured lava over the side, trapping Techno under the water. Tommy in a panic was about to start tearing at the stone with his bare hands before he saw a very waterlogged pink head come to the surface on the edge of the cobble. Before he could offer him help, Tommy saw Techno grimly wield his trident before launching himself out of the water and back into the fray. 

Leaving Tommy to trudge up the bank himself, only to see Dream standing over Phil, sword raised. 

“No!” Tommy screamed, launching himself over the railing and right at Dream at a sprint. 

Dream was stopped, not by Technoblade, who landed beside them at almost the same moment, but rather by a bolt piercing his hand, his sword clattering to the ground uselessly. Standing beside Tubbo, Ghostbur had a crossbow. 

“Hi, Tommy!” 

Tommy laughed, even the ghost had chosen a side. Dream was destined to lose. He turned to face him, Dream now armed with an axe in his other hand, blood dripping from the wounded one. 

“You’re not gonna win this one, Dream,” Techno snapped. “I showed mercy last time, don’t think that’ll happen twice.” The echoes of _BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD_ agreed. Dream backed up, staring at each of them, with weighted caution. 

Dream had to realize he was outmanned, but none of them expected him to disappear, first by jumping over the side and into the crater, but when the three of them rushed to the railings, they couldn’t see him below. And just like that, the fight was over, no grand finale or noble speeches, just a vanished enemy and the exhausted calm. They had chased Dream off, the question remained how long it would last. 

“Where is he?!” Tommy turned around, looking frantically. “Shit– Where’d he go?!” 

“Tommy! Tommy, it’s okay. When he turns up, we’ll be ready. Just– Keep your armor on,” Phil tried to calm him. 

Tommy nodded shakily, turning around. “Tubbo– Tubbo are you okay?” Tommy rushed over to him, still expecting Dream to return any second. 

“I’m okay, Tommy. I am. Wil– Ghostbur, he fixed me up with a health potion,” Tubbo looked fine, standing steadily, the tourniquet removed as his leg was almost fully healed. It was just one more scar among too many others. Tubbo looked past him to Technoblade, stepping back. 

“It’s alright. He’s on our side,” Tommy tried to reassure him. 

“Well, no. I’m not on _his_ side,” Techno said coldly. “I’m not on any government’s side.” 

Phil put a hand on Technoblade’s shoulder. “We’re not protecting L’Manberg, we’re protecting Tommy’s best friend, you got that?” 

“Right,” Techno said dryly. 

“Do I need to have a talk with you?” Phil pulled him aside, still keeping the boys in his line of sight, just in case. 

“Hmm. I think I’m gonna go look for Dream,” Ghostbur, crossbow over his shoulder, descended down to the water level. “I’ll shout if he stabs me!” 

“It’ll be fine, Tubbo. He’ll– He’ll get over it,” Tommy refocused on his friend. “You sure you’re alright?” 

“Yeah. Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” Tubbo frowned. 

“He hurt you.” 

“Yeah, he hurt you too. And I let that happen.” Tubbo looked so grim and exhausted. 

“You didn’t know,” Tommy was surprised that he defended him, but how could he not? “Hell– I didn’t know.” 

“But I let it happen,” Tubbo refused to waver, guilty and unsure and bitter and unable to do a thing about it. “Shit, Tommy, I am so sorry. I didn’t know– I didn’t think he’d actually hurt you. How stupid was I? You all _told_ me that this wasn’t the way and I did it anyway. Like Schlatt would’ve done.” 

“Tubbo, shut it! You’re _not_ Schlatt. It’s like you said, he could’ve killed us all if he wanted,” Tommy glanced around, still expecting Dream to make an immediate reappearance. “If you need my forgiveness, you’ve got it, okay?” Tommy sighed, closing his eyes for a moment as he tried to steady himself. “I’m not saying it didn’t hurt, that it doesn’t still hurt now, but… I don’t want to waste time getting over that. And I’m sorry too. I am. Not sorry enough that I feel like I deserved all the shit that’s happened to me the past few weeks, but I am sorry I didn’t listen and that hurt you.” 

Tubbo nodded. “I don’t think you need to apologize, not after all this, but I forgive you too.” A pause, Tubbo sitting on the steps between the paths of L’Manberg, Tommy joining him. “What do we do now, then?” 

“He’ll be back. You know he will,” Tommy said, staring at Phil and Techno talking at the edge of the path. “I don’t think he’ll stop til I’ve been punished enough. Until I’m dead on the ground.” 

Tubbo put a hand on his shoulder. “You won’t be alone in this, Tommy. I’ve left you alone long enough. And I understand if you can’t trust me yet, but I’ll be here.” A pause, Tubbo warring with himself. “He can destroy L’Manberg. It’s not a place, it’s a people, right? And… And I lost sight of that. That you are my people.” 

“Fuck L’Manberg.” Tommy wasn’t kidding, Tubbo laughed in surprise anyway. “You didn’t ask for this,” Tommy glanced to Ghostbur, who was drifting around just below the platform, as if looking for Dream in the water. Tommy looked away, hastily wiping his eyes. Tubbo didn’t comment on it. 

Tubbo bit back the urge to apologize again despite wanting to. He thought back on all those times where Dream had pityingly told him that Tommy wanted nothing to do with him, that he was busy throwing a fit at his little house in the woods, complaining all the while. How when he had desperately wanted to visit Tommy, Dream had explained that Tommy was in no state for visitors. How there had been times where Tubbo had _encouraged_ Dream to go check on Tommy, that there were surely times where Tubbo had prolonged Tommy’s suffering by sending Dream his way. How knowing that Dream was making sure he was still alive had been a _comfort_ to him, when in reality Dream had gladly gone out to give Tommy hell. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Tubbo asked after a pause. 

“About what?” 

“You know what,” Tubbo bit his lip, looking at Tommy carefully, those words echoing in the back of his mind, _why’d you think I was gonna jump, Tubbo?_ “If you want to be angry, or yell about what’s happened to you or– or anything. The least I can do is listen.” 

Tommy shook his head. “Maybe eventually, but… but I don’t want to unpack that now. _Fuck_ , I really just want to forget all of it. I just want things to be how they were before.” Tommy looked at the ground, hands fidgeting in his lap, his axe still in reach just in case. Things were never going to be the same. Not after all this. “I’ve missed you, man.” 

“Yeah. Missed you too,” Tubbo went to his pocket on instinct, searching for a compass that had been lost for a while now. 

Tommy went to his own compass, met with cracked glass. “No! Oh– Shit, it must’ve got crushed in the fight.” The needle had fallen from its casing as well. 

“Yeah, yeah, I lost mine too,” Tubbo said gloomily. 

“Lost it?” Tommy looked at him carefully. “Dream said… well, I suppose he lied about that too, but… he said you burned it.” 

“What? No! No, I didn’t _burn_ it. It got blown up. A creeper,” Tubbo shook his head adamantly. “I would never have gotten rid of it. I had it on me all the time, pretty much glued to my hand, really.” 

Tommy smiled. “Yeah? Well…” He stared down at the broken remains in his hands, before tossing it aside. “Suppose it doesn’t matter now. We don’t need to find each other if we’re together, right?” 

Tubbo returned the grin, elbowing him gently. “Right.” Tubbo stared back towards Phil and Technoblade, seemingly lost in thought. 

“What?” Tommy’s anxieties returned. “Tubbo, come on, what’re you thinking about?” 

“I was gonna try and kill Technoblade.” 

“ _What?_ ” Tommy laughed nervously. 

Tubbo just nodded, deadly serious. “Yep. We had it all planned out–” 

“ _We?_ ” 

“Mhm. Me, Quackity, Fundy, and we dragged Ranboo into it too. We were gonna hunt him down and… and try him. Well, _execute_ him,” Tubbo looked particularly grim. “I know it _sounds_ bad, but up until maybe a half hour ago I still thought it was the right thing to do.” 

“Tubbo…” 

“Yeah– Right, I _know_ how it sounds,” Tubbo grew more sharp. “Quackity just… he told me somebody needed to pay. And, not gonna lie, if it weren’t for Dream, or, if it weren’t for _you_ , I’d still want Technoblade far away from me. I know it was Schlatt’s orders, I _know_ , but…” Tubbo shook his head, staring at the ground now. “He pulled the trigger. Twice.” Tubbo shuddered. Before Tommy could think of anything to say, Tubbo kept going. “Actually, it’s a lot bigger than just that– He summoned the _withers._ He could’ve killed everyone. And– And the last time I tried to take charge, I got you exiled and that _hurt_ , s-so I thought– I thought if I just stepped back and let Quackity take the lead maybe there would be less bloody _collateral_.” 

“Okay,” Tommy nodded. 

“Okay? Okay what?” 

“I… I don’t blame you. I guess. I mean, I tore into him for killing you too. And… you’re not going through with it. So. That’s what matters.” 

“You’re too forgiving sometimes, Tommy.” 

“Would you rather I stay pissed off at you?” 

Tubbo laughed. A pause, both of them just taking in the relief of being able to talk to each other. “Guess not.” He looked back to Techno and Phil. “What do you think they’re talking about?” 

“You.” 

Tubbo punched him lightly on the arm. “Damnit. Hate that you’re probably right. Dunno what Technoblade wants me to do– I can’t _resign._ Up until recently my VP was exiled.” 

“Oh, too soon, bro,” Tommy winced dramatically. “Who cares what they’re talking about– You’ve got to fill me in on what’s been happening.” 

Techno reluctantly let Phil drag him to the other side of the platform. 

“You’ve got to figure out your priorities, mate. Are you really gonna wage war on some teenager who got all this dumped on him?” Phil folded his arms over his chest, looking up at Technoblade scoldingly. 

“Phil, you know this is only gonna end bloody. Any government– first it’s just organization, then it’s rules, then it’s power, and then it’s punishment,” Techno remained resolute. 

“What _power_ does Tubbo have? The only person who’s abused power around here is Dream,” Phil pointed out. 

“Yeah…” Techno looked at Phil carefully. “Why’d you kill him?” 

Phil kept looking out for Dream, keeping an eye on the boys talking across the way and on Ghostbur drifting aimlessly below. Phil didn’t seem guilty or worried or particularly compelled, only a grim certainty. “Heard what he did to Tommy. I had to. And maybe soon enough I’ll be able to do it again.” Phil was a kind man, a good friend, but he never looked for pacifism like Technoblade did. He would right wrongs instead. “I should’ve never let him near my kid. I could’ve gotten Tommy out sooner, but somehow I convinced myself doing the _safe_ thing was more important than doing the right one…” He shook his head. “That’s not happening again.” 

Techno had other thoughts. “I couldn’t do it. I know you’re right, he tormented him. I just… I couldn’t finish it by following his orders. I couldn’t give up that last bit of pacifism I held onto. It’s dumb–” 

Phil stopped him firmly. “Hey. Don’t you ever feel bad for doing better than me. I want all of you to end up being better than me.” 

“Don’t know if we’ll ever be able to do that, Phil,” Techno replied cheekily. 

“Maybe,” he laughed. “You’re trying to be better. That’s what counts.” 

Techno hummed, considering it. “No, I think it’s more we’re trying to be like _you_.” 

Phil grew sadder now, more weighted. “Nah, don’t do that.” Both of them looked over to where Ghostbur was wandering, grief far from settled. “I keep trying to be better, but I don’t think I’m quite there yet.” 

“Don’t know how easy that’s gonna be. You know me, I’ve always got a chorus telling me to turn back. Draw blood…” 

Phil remained serious and adamant. “The voices are a part of you, but they aren’t you. You know that, Techno. You’ve known that for a long time. _You_ decide what you want to do, who you want to be. Not them. That’s how you’ve made it this far and _that’s_ why I’m proud of you.” 

Techno felt weak with emotion, with relief and fondness and love. Phil really was his best friend. There was no one he’d rather have fighting by his side. 

“You’re not gonna leave Tubbo to fend for himself. I know you won’t, Technoblade. Not ‘cause I think you’ll go back on your principles or whatever, the opposite really. You’re not gonna let some kid get hurt because the people who were supposed to protect him let him down.” 

Techno found himself looking at Tommy, who looked more at ease than he had in weeks. Dream still lurking out there, all of them aware of what they were up against, and Tommy was just laughing with his best friend. 

“Yeah, I guess my track record is against me when it comes to helping out stupid kids,” Technoblade sighed. 

“Yeah, well, you get that from your old man,” Phil teased, both of them thinking back on Phil finding this angry, inhuman kid already stained with blood and in need of help, and taking him home without question. 

Tubbo looked at Tommy, a realization coming to mind. “We could get your disc back.” 

“What?” 

“Your _disc_ , don’t tell me you’ve forgotten about them. Think about it, if we’re gonna have to fight of Dream anyway, might as well try and get the disc back too.” 

“Yeah. Yeah, we could,” Tommy joined in on his enthusiasm, but it wasn’t the disc itself. It was the thought of taking it back together. “You and me. We’re gonna send Dream running, right?” 

“Right.” 

All the fear on the horizon didn’t matter. They would go down fighting together. And looking to Phil and Techno, maybe it wouldn’t just be them against the world anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for sticking with me on this messy rollercoaster. I really didn't plan on writing more than a one-off chapter, but then I realized I needed to fix canon in my own way. So. I hope you all enjoyed the journey too <3


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